0870. Dialling code for the moon.

[coffeymagic]

You tell me, am I wrong on this one?

If I dial a UK phone number should I expect to be able to have a conversation with the person who picks it up without resorting to language that I'd use with a small child?

I've just called Hertz 0870 840 0084 and spoken at (not with) Kirsten Schmidt. Now Hertz are in Dublin but I'd still expect them to have heard of Ipswich even if they don't know where it is.

So I spelled 'EYE-PEE-ESS-DOUBLEYOU....' and she came up with a price that I knew was wrong. 'I'm sorry but I said can you quote me for an estate car?'

Nothing. Silence.

'Hello?'
'Yes that is the price.'
'For an estate?'
'For an intermediate, two door Focus.'
'That's not an estate. I'd like a price for an estate please.'

And so on.

I know kagillions of companies farm their calls out to all over the world but what is the point of saving money if I've now gone and booked a car with Europcar? Everyday I speak to people in tiny little villages in Denmark and fRance not only do they speak English they UNDERSTAND it too. They know what I want, they understand when I'm joking and they can understand my accent.

If I dial 0207 or 0870 then I've got no chance.

Does nobody in the English speaking world speak English anymore?

I blame Megson.

[Little Green Man]

Que?

[Bruce Rioja]

Location: East Kilbride.

[blurred]

www.saynoto0870.com

Or something, there's a site that lists the cheaper options (and often these aren't the outsourced numbers but actually get through to the UK).

[ThePosterFormerlyKnownAs]

www.saynoto0870.com

Or something, there's a site that lists the cheaper options (and often these aren't the outsourced numbers but actually get through to the UK).

The numbers they list on that site are usually internal telephone numbers that aren't meant for the public domain. When I did a stint in a HR department for a certain French Energy company the 'sick line' used to ring all the time. Not from sick employees, though, but from irate customers who wanted someone to speak with (read shout at...) them about their bill. Despite numerous times of telling the person they needed to phone a different number, they still came back through to the 'sick line'.

I've heard reports from Team Leaders of the company that the public had gotten hold of their direct line numbers as well and used to call on a regular basis. The query was never dealt with but they did try to use this number. The purpose of the direct line was that the company had 3 sites (call centres) who needed to speak with one another.

0870 numbers usually only charge you up to a certain point (5 minutes IMSC)

[coffeymagic]

I've no objection to dialling 0870 numbers it's just I know that 9 times out of 10 when I do I'll be calling a Rangoon brothel that doubles as the Dell 'customer support centre'.

I don't mind repeating myself once but to have to have conversations in a stucatto sentences using a brand of English the Teletubbies would find patronising is just unacceptable.

And when they resort to their scripts using only the phrases they've been told cover all that really annoys me.

'...Thank you for calling XYZ. Is there anything else I can help you with?'
'Well you've not actually helped me with the thing I came on for have you so there can't be 'anything else' can there?'
'I'm sorry?'
'Well for there to be 'anything else' there has to be 'something' to start with doesn't there?'
'I'm sorry?'
'In English for ther - oh just forget it.'
'Thank you for calling XYZ'
'feck off!'

Fonejackers funny int he?

[fatshaft]

0870 numbers usually only charge you up to a certain point (5 minutes IMSC)

Doesn;t matter, most of us (I presume) now get calls for free, but that excludes 0870 numbers. So instead of getting free calls to these 'un'help lines, you have to pay. c*nts.

[communistworkethic]

0870 is a non-geographic standard rate line. i.e. you pay a national rate, usually about 7p per minute and no more than 10p, no matter where you are in the country.

[Bertie]

0870 numbers usually only charge you up to a certain point (5 minutes IMSC)

Doesn;t matter, most of us (I presume) now get calls for free, but that excludes 0870 numbers. So instead of getting free calls to these 'un'help lines, you have to pay. c*nts.

0870 is a non-geographic standard rate line. i.e. you pay a national rate, usually about 7p per minute and no more than 10p, no matter where you are in the country.

My pensioner mother was kept holding on by British Gas for 2 hours (before being cut off) and ended up with it costing her over £10. An expensive way of telling them they'd fecked up over her bill when only on a poxy £93 a week.

[fatshaft]

0870 is a non-geographic standard rate line. i.e. you pay a national rate, usually about 7p per minute and no more than 10p, no matter where you are in the country.

You can call me a mean Scot if you like, but you still have to pay. Whereas an 01 or 02 number is free. In this day and age, if the companies are providing 0870 numbers for our benefit (allegedly), then they need to get into the present.

[Bruce Rioja]

You can call me a mean Scot if you like,

As if we would.

[communistworkethic]

0870 is a non-geographic standard rate line. i.e. you pay a national rate, usually about 7p per minute and no more than 10p, no matter where you are in the country.

You can call me a mean Scot if you like, but you still have to pay. Whereas an 01 or 02 number is free. In this day and age, if the companies are providing 0870 numbers for our benefit (allegedly), then they need to get into the present.

they allow multiple sites to service the same line too thus reducing costs.

and if bertie's gran had to ring say BG in India from bolton she'd pay a long distance call and she'd have no idea what it cost. swings and roundabouts. and if you sit on hold for 2hours rather than call back later, well that's just a bit silly. and if you pay by direct debit and they feck up they're contractually obliged to right it, so you can take your time to sort it.

[Bertie]

they allow multiple sites to service the same line too thus reducing costs.

and if bertie's gran had to ring say BG in India from bolton she'd pay a long distance call and she'd have no idea what it cost. swings and roundabouts. and if you sit on hold for 2hours rather than call back later, well that's just a bit silly. and if you pay by direct debit and they feck up they're contractually obliged to right it, so you can take your time to sort it.

She wouldn't be buying gas from India though would she? She was worried sick about them estimating her bill to be over £500 instead of the usual £50 - which is why she hung on. And is very pleased that she doesn't pay by direct debit, because if she did, they would have taken the money, she would have gone overdrawn, been charged for that, been charged for each bounced cheque that she'd written in good faith, had bank charges pile up and so on. It would have been a piece of piss getting BG to sort that out and refund her without hassle wouldn't it?

So please don't call her silly, she's in her 80s and trying to survive on what she's earned by way of a pension, without going into debt.

[communistworkethic]

aye cos they don't put call centres in india irrespective of where the product/service is derived do they? and I said the action of waiting 2 hours was silly, not an individual. and if it had been by DD then every penny would have to have been return including charges and a payment for the distress and onconveience would have been appropriate to boot

[Bruce Rioja]

and I said the action of waiting 2 hours was silly.

Is that not likely to be two hours worth of being told that your call's important and that you'll be connected to a human being at some point shortly?

[communistworkethic]

and I said the action of waiting 2 hours was silly.

Is that not likely to be two hours worth of being told that your call's important and that you'll be connected to a human being at some point shortly?

quite, by that time you'd kind of wonder just how important it was

[Bruce Rioja]

and I said the action of waiting 2 hours was silly.

Is that not likely to be two hours worth of being told that your call's important and that you'll be connected to a human being at some point shortly?

quite, by that time you'd kind of wonder just how important it was

Oh absolutely, but when constanly being told that "You're in a queue" then you're not likely to put the phone down thinking that the next queue's going to be any shorter that this one, are you?

[communistworkethic]

i do, if you ring between 3-4.30 every feck* gone back to work after lunch andisn't on their way home yet, hence you get through quicker.

commie, master of the trade secret

[Montreal Wanderer]

i do, if you ring between 3-4.30 every feck gone back to work after lunch andisn't on their way home yet, hence you get through quicker.

commie, master of the trade secret

I wonder what time lunch is in Bangalore where our telephone troubles are handled (but seldom resolved). Actually they answer very quickly, ask "How may I give you excellent service", but after that things don't go quite so well.

Credit card problems - handled in North America somewhere - tend to take forever, require pushing a number of different buttons and listening to endless annoying music. Very irritating but you don't want to lose your place in the queue....