The oddest thing you've ever seen

ratbert · Post by **ratbert** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:01 pm

I was walking back from an ex's-house one winter Sunday night and saw a man wearing nothing but his socks walking down a main road. Easily the oddest thing I've seen.

What other weird forum member experiences are (literally) out there?

seanworth · Post by **seanworth** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:09 pm

Actually had my house burgled by a naked man. Caught him outside and gave chase, obviously with a certain amount of trepidation. I then grabbed him as he was climbing over a fence. He managed to slip loose but only after releasing a loud scream, which I can only assume was from his privates getting scraped on the fence (wall actually). He had released the bag so I pursued no further. When informing the police they asked me to describe him. I replied "He was f##king naked for christ's sake. My guess is if you see a naked man running around the neighbourhood you likely have your man". The next morning we managed to track all his movements up to the house as he had stepped in wet paint at a construction site two doors down from me. Only in Bangkok could this happen.

Bruce Rioja · Post by **Bruce Rioja** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:14 pm

The oddest thing that I ever saw was some guy staring at me as I walked down the street in my socks.

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:14 pm

Saw much the same thing on Oxford Road while going to work one morning. Guy ( drunk, drugged, ill?) suddenly started stripping off and leaving his clothes etc where they fell. Took everything off and just carried on walking. His trainers were still outside a newsagents two days later.

bobo the clown · Post by **bobo the clown** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:18 pm

Bruce Rioja wrote:The oddest thing that I ever saw was some guy staring at me as I walked down the street in my socks.

Zulus Thousand of em · Post by **Zulus Thousand of em** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:41 pm

seanworth wrote:Actually had my house burgled by a naked man. Caught him outside and gave chase, obviously with a certain amount of trepidation. I then grabbed him as he was climbing over a fence. He managed to slip loose but only after releasing a loud scream, which I can only assume was from his privates getting scraped on the fence (wall actually). He had released the bag so I pursued no further. When informing the police they asked me to describe him. I replied "He was f##king naked for christ's sake. My guess is if you see a naked man running around the neighbourhood you likely have your man". The next morning we managed to track all his movements up to the house as he had stepped in wet paint at a construction site two doors down from me. Only in Bangkok could this happen.

Bloody hell! He really scraped his privates on the fence.

ratbert · Post by **ratbert** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:43 pm

Bruce Rioja wrote:The oddest thing that I ever saw was some guy staring at me as I walked down the street in my socks.

You know Leg's Eleven, Bruce? It's the girls that take their kit off, not the customers.

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:49 pm

My "front" door is actually on the side of the house, about six feet away from the facing garage wall. One night, after dark, I heard an odd noise and went out to investigate. Couldn't see anything amiss and was just closing the door when I happened to glance upwards. There, on the garage roof was what appeared to be a giant-sized garden gnome crouching there. When I asked him (very politely) what he thought he was doing, I got "They're after me".

To cut a long tale short, he was an inmate from Bolton Royal Hospital (which isn't very far from my house) and when I tried to persuade him to descend he just said again, "They're after me" and leapt off the street end of the garage and legged it. He got caught not long after bit it was an odd event, to say the least.

superjohnmcginlay · Post by **superjohnmcginlay** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:52 pm

TANGODANCER wrote:My "front" door is actually on the side of the house, about six feet away from the facing garage wall. One night, after dark, I heard an odd noise and went out to investigate. Couldn't see anything amiss and was just closing the door when I happened to glance upwards. There, on the garage roof was what appeared to be a giant-sized garden gnome crouching there. When I asked him (very politely) what he thought he was doing, I got "They're after me".

To cut a long tale short, he was an inmate from Bolton Royal Hospital (which isn't very far from my house) and when I tried to persuade him to descend he just said again, "They're after me" and leapt off the street end of the garage and leged it. He got caught not long after bit it was an odd event, to say the least.

Yeah course. It seems magic mushrooms are available in the Farnworth area.

warthog · Post by **warthog** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:58 pm

TANGODANCER wrote:My "front" door is actually on the side of the house, about six feet away from the facing garage wall. One night, after dark, I heard an odd noise and went out to investigate. Couldn't see anything amiss and was just closing the door when I happened to glance upwards. There, on the garage roof was what appeared to be a giant-sized garden gnome crouching there. When I asked him (very politely) what he thought he was doing, I got "They're after me".

To cut a long tale short, he was an inmate from Bolton Royal Hospital (which isn't very far from my house) and when I tried to persuade him to descend he just said again, "They're after me" and leapt off the street end of the garage and legged it. He got caught not long after bit it was an odd event, to say the least.

It's not an uncommon occurance. My Dad had an extended stay in that hospital and we got used to seeing one character sprinting down Minerva Road in his pyjamas, dressing gown flailing in the wind, with several nurses in hot pursuit. Sometimes he'd escape unnoticed. They found him on Bradford Road once, directing the traffic.

His last escape came when he ventured onto the grounds of English Martyrs school. They sent the kids to hunt him down. About 200 of them. He stayed in the ward after that.

InsaneApache · Post by **InsaneApache** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:59 pm

I bet it was Duncan Norville perfecting his 'chase me' routine.

jimbo · Post by **jimbo** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:19 pm

I was walking down La Ramblas in Barcelona a couple of years back and there was an old guy who looked about 70 walking towards me wearing literally nothing apart from what looked like a g-string. As he got closer it appeared he was infact completely starkers and had painted said under-garment onto himself. Really couldnt believe what I was seeing, especially in the middle of the afternoon on one of Europe's busiest streets.

superjohnmcginlay · Post by **superjohnmcginlay** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:27 pm

There was a scruffy looking bloke who used to walk round Halifax dressed in womens clothes. Least I think it was a bloke.

warthog · Post by **warthog** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:45 pm

Some years ago I was having a mid-week drink in the Man and Scythe when I spotted an incredibly ugly woman in a red sparkly evening dress stood at the bar. Somehow, I didn't think that she was what Chris de Burgh had in mind. Closer inspection (not that much closer, I hasten to add) revealed it to be Kenny Howcroft, who used to do a drag act in a nearby pub and liked to have a few drinks around town beforehand.

More recently, about three years ago, there used to be a huge, bald bloke who liked to venture into town wearing a fleece jacket and heavy eye liner. Very sweet. Not that you'd have said this to his face. He'd probably have slapped you to death.

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:23 pm

Cor, Kenny Howcroft isn't still going is he? I remember him when he and Freddy Gordon were just two of a kind in Bolton. I thought you were describing Agnes Figgins at first.

warthog · Post by **warthog** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:25 pm

TANGODANCER wrote:Cor, Kenny Howcroft isn't still going is he? I remember him when he and Freddy Gordon were just two of a kind in Bolton. I thought you were describing Agnes Figgins at first.

No, he died a few years ago. The incident I described happened a long time ago.

Zulus Thousand of em · Post by **Zulus Thousand of em** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:32 pm

warthog wrote:Some years ago I was having a mid-week drink in the Man and Scythe when I spotted an incredibly ugly woman in a red sparkly evening dress stood at the bar. Somehow, I didn't think that she was what Chris de Burgh had in mind. Closer inspection (not that much closer, I hasten to add) revealed it to be Kenny Howcroft, who used to do a drag act in a nearby pub and liked to have a few drinks around town beforehand.

More recently, about three years ago, there used to be a huge, bald bloke who liked to venture into town wearing a fleece jacket and heavy eye liner. Very sweet. Not that you'd have said this to his face. He'd probably have slapped you to death.

Blimey! (I was going to say "Bugger me!" but that might have been misconstrued.)

I used to get the last bus home with my mates to Breightmet on a Sunday night after the Palais around about 1970/71. Many a time Kenny used to be on the top deck,taking the banter off the lads. He was alright and pretty harmless really. Bit of a shock 35 years ago though! Like TD says - there was only him and Freddy open about it in the town. Must have been hundreds too frightened or ashamed to be themselves at that time. Poor devils. It's a much more enlightened society now thankfully. Just as long as they never make it compulsory.

Surely Kenny's not still batting, is he? He must be 90 if he's a day.

EDIT Warty's just answered my question.

As for Aggy Figgins - bloody hell!

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:00 pm

warthog wrote:
TANGODANCER wrote:Cor, Kenny Howcroft isn't still going is he? I remember him when he and Freddy Gordon were just two of a kind in Bolton. I thought you were describing Agnes Figgins at first.
No, he died a few years ago. The incident I described happened a long time ago.

Although I had never heard of him, he seems to have gained some fame in a playwherein the dialogue reads:

(She puts powder on a puff.) Alli-up. (She puts it on her face. It all scatters. She coughs.) Puts me in mind of Kenny, Kenny Howcroft the homo. With his big white handbag. A sweet ‘un. We used to drink gin off each other’s fingers down the bar.

mofgimmers · Post by **mofgimmers** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:31 pm

Coming from Horwich, there's too many to recount. Terry Turnbull doing the door (at Nibblers) with a goat on string has to be up there.

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:53 pm

The one and only time I went for a pint in the Post Office in Farnworth (the pub not the tax disc place) the landlord was busy having an ice cube fight with a few of his regulars - he must've had his ice maker on full pelt because it looked like a scene from the lion, the witch and the wardrobe by the time they'd finished.

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