Today I'm angry about.....

[Gary the Enfield]

Pump up the volume - MARRS. Woo.

I'm having an 80s flashback.

'Put the needle on the record'
'Put the needle on the record'
'Put the needle on the record'
'Put the needle on the record, when the drum beat goes like....'

[Lord Kangana]

This?

[Puskas]

Gravy. This is a big issue. I may have posted something on this before. Or that may have been somewhere else. Either way, it's important.
Gravy and vegetarians. Always, the vegetarians.

Go into a supermarket. You'll see four major varieties of gravy granules. There's your red variety - the beef; there's your yellow one - the chicken; there's the brown one - the onion; and there's the green one - whatever foul and noxious perversions the vegetarians put in theirs.

Now look on the back of the red one - at the bottom, hidden away as though they're embarrased about it (and so they should be) there's a tiny green V, and a statement that this has been approved by the vegetarian society. The beef gravy.
Check out the yellow one. Whilst there seems to be no green V, there's also no mention of chicken, or meat based products in the ingredients. It's only a matter of time.

I have nothing against vegetarians. Indeed, some of my best friends are members of that pasty-faced, anaemic, unwashed clique. And whilst I wouldn't want my daughter to marry one, so long as they keep their disgusting degradations to themselves, I don't complain. However, when they try to hijack our gravy - the red gravy of ordinary, decent folk - when they have a green gravy of their own, I say enough is enough. We need to take back our gravy. I'm all for tolerance and so on, but this has gone too far.

Give us our gravy back. Or I'll be breaking into the Linda McCartney processing factory and sprinkling Oxo cubes in all the prepacked food.
The red Oxo cubes.

[boltonboris]

Granulated Gravy is gash anyway.... Make your own

[Lord Kangana]

Gravy. This is a big issue. I may have posted something on this before. Or that may have been somewhere else. Either way, it's important.
Gravy and vegetarians. Always, the vegetarians.

Go into a supermarket. You'll see four major varieties of gravy granules. There's your red variety - the beef; there's your yellow one - the chicken; there's the brown one - the onion; and there's the green one - whatever foul and noxious perversions the vegetarians put in theirs.

Now look on the back of the red one - at the bottom, hidden away as though they're embarrased about it (and so they should be) there's a tiny green V, and a statement that this has been approved by the vegetarian society. The beef gravy.
Check out the yellow one. Whilst there seems to be no green V, there's also no mention of chicken, or meat based products in the ingredients. It's only a matter of time.

I have nothing against vegetarians. Indeed, some of my best friends are members of that pasty-faced, anaemic, unwashed clique. And whilst I wouldn't want my daughter to marry one, so long as they keep their disgusting degradations to themselves, I don't complain. However, when they try to hijack our gravy - the red gravy of ordinary, decent folk - when they have a green gravy of their own, I say enough is enough. We need to take back our gravy. I'm all for tolerance and so on, but this has gone too far.

Give us our gravy back. Or I'll be breaking into the Linda McCartney processing factory and sprinkling Oxo cubes in all the prepacked food.
The red Oxo cubes.

Knorr Chicken Bouillon contains 1.7% chicken fat. Does this meet your strict criteria?

[Puskas]

Granulated gravy is OK.

Particularly when you add juices from the meat you're cooking to it. And maybe some water you've been boiling vegetables in.

If you have time to make your own, I applaud you. But some of us look for quick fixes.

Give me convenience or give me death.

[thebish]

the people who imagined that gravy granules ever actually contained any meat!!

[Bruce Rioja]

the people who imagined that gravy granules ever actually contained any meat!!

Bisto Best. Just keep it coming!

[Little Green Man]

Gates have got my goat recently.

Not Eric, or Bill (although he's no stranger to my goat) or even Farmyard. It's the gates that only seen to reside in the puny minds of those journalists that serve us up with what passes for news these days.

If they were covering this thread they no doubt be working themselves into a frenzy over gravy-gate, except of course all eyes are on the breaking luge-gate story over in Vancouver...

The original incident happened well over 30 years ago and has no connection whatsoever to Japanese car parts, duck islands or John Terry. Get over it, you tossers!

And don't start me off on the other vacuous journo cliche of the moment - iconic - a catch-all description for anything that peeps its unremarkable little head above the parapet of mediocrity.

[Dujon]

Well said, Little Green Man. Ever since that iconic revelation of Watergate we have been barred from true and proper descriptions of events that unfold before us. There is no stile at all that will not suffer the indignity of current journalistic swingerism nor any horse that should be applauded for escaping the bolted door.

Then again, it does seem to have been around for a while:

I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:
Follow your spirit; and, upon this charge
Cry 'God for Harry! England and Saint George!'
Henry V, 3. 1

[InsaneApache]

Talking of meat free gravy.

Mechanically recovered meat. You'll never eat a hot dog or burger again.

You have been warned.

[Lord Kangana]

Or cheap chicken breasts.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style ... 96407.html

[Bruce Rioja]

Or cheap chicken breasts.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style ... 96407.html

I also read somewhere that those chickens that they sell ready-cooked in supermarkets are injected with upto 10% beef fat!

Extra tasty, Sir?

That concerns me far more than muslims eating something that hasn't been barbarically slaughtered in the name of religion though.

[bobo the clown]

Or cheap chicken breasts.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style ... 96407.html

I also read somewhere that those chickens that they sell ready-cooked in supermarkets are injected with upto 10% beef fat!

Extra tasty, Sir?

That concerns me far more than muslims eating something that hasn't been barbarically slaughtered in the name of religion though.

Maybe they shpuld inject them with PORK fat.

[Lord Kangana]

They do. And pork slurry. They do this with the judicious use of polyphosphate-related chemicals (to aid absorption) and huge centrifuges. And its sometimes closer to 20%.

[bobo the clown]

They do. And pork slurry. They do this with the judicious use of polyphosphate-related chemicals (to aid absorption) and huge centrifuges. And its sometimes closer to 20%.

not many sold in Cheetham Hill or up St. Helen's Road then, I hope.

Whatever they use they're very pleasant for the price.

[Lord Kangana]

Its not on the ingredients list, so probably. An EHO officer from Hull was the first to rumble the scam.

[Little Green Man]

An EHO officer from Hull was the first to rumble the scam.

Bloody do-gooder!

[Bruce Rioja]

EHO officer.

Tautology!

[Lord Kangana]

Bastardology.