General Chit Chat

If you have a life outside of BWFC, then this is the place to tell us all about your toilet habits, and those bizarre fetishes.......

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Hoboh
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Hoboh » Wed May 29, 2019 4:01 pm

BWFC_Insane wrote:
Wed May 29, 2019 1:55 pm
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Wed May 29, 2019 1:44 pm
Hoboh wrote:
Wed May 29, 2019 1:07 pm
Wife: Excuse me where are the tooth picks?
Waiter: okay, then brings them
Wife: where do you keep them?
Waiter: blank look
Wife: where do they live?
Waiter: Ha follow me :lol:
Nope. I haven't the slightest clue what ^ that's about.
Same.
Twas at lunchtime in our hotel

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TANGODANCER
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by TANGODANCER » Fri May 31, 2019 6:24 pm

Heathcoates haven't been hanging about since parting company with the Unibol. They're opening up in The Albert Halls as "The Northener" restaurant very shortly (logo miserable looking bloke in a flat cap, no joke), serving all manner of traditional northern delights.....Eccles cakes and stuff, that should go down well. :|
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Prufrock » Fri May 31, 2019 6:40 pm

They have Eccles cakes in the tiny Sainsbury's near me on Holloway road. Always found it baffling (without complaining).
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Harry Genshaw » Fri May 31, 2019 9:44 pm

Prufrock wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 6:40 pm
They have Eccles cakes in the tiny Sainsbury's near me on Holloway road. Always found it baffling (without complaining).
Bet they go lovely with quinoa!
"Get your feet off the furniture you Oxbridge tw*t. You're not on a feckin punt now you know"

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Lost Leopard Spot
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Sat Jun 01, 2019 3:59 pm

Harry Genshaw wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 9:44 pm
Prufrock wrote:
Fri May 31, 2019 6:40 pm
They have Eccles cakes in the tiny Sainsbury's near me on Holloway road. Always found it baffling (without complaining).
Bet they go lovely with quinoa!
Now, now... :lol:
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Lost Leopard Spot
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Sun Jun 02, 2019 1:16 pm

Went to a wedding reception last night. Got cornered by four people (Anglo-saxon) from London.
Every other word was "yeah", "so", "but", "actually", "whatever" or a combination of the above.

"So, but, yeah..."
"Yeah, but..."
"Actually yeah..."
"Whatever so, but yeah we did"
"I said but, so..."

At one point I pleaded with one of them to stop starting every sentence with So.
His response was: "So, but, what d'you mean?"
That's not a leopard!
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TANGODANCER
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by TANGODANCER » Sun Jun 02, 2019 1:36 pm

Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 1:16 pm
Went to a wedding reception last night. Got cornered by four people (Anglo-saxon) from London.
Every other word was "yeah", "so", "but", "actually", "whatever" or a combination of the above.

"So, but, yeah..."
"Yeah, but..."
"Actually yeah..."
"Whatever so, but yeah we did"
"I said but, so..."

At one point I pleaded with one of them to stop starting every sentence with So.
His response was: "So, but, what d'you mean?"
Not still trying to make sense of today's ways and means are you Spots? I gave up a long time ago.
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?

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Lost Leopard Spot
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Sun Jun 02, 2019 2:08 pm

TANGODANCER wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 1:36 pm
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 1:16 pm
Went to a wedding reception last night. Got cornered by four people (Anglo-saxon) from London.
Every other word was "yeah", "so", "but", "actually", "whatever" or a combination of the above.

"So, but, yeah..."
"Yeah, but..."
"Actually yeah..."
"Whatever so, but yeah we did"
"I said but, so..."

At one point I pleaded with one of them to stop starting every sentence with So.
His response was: "So, but, what d'you mean?"
Not still trying to make sense of today's ways and means are you Spots? I gave up a long time ago.
Conversation yesterday as I was passing by, walking the dog...
Man pushing woman in wheelchair: "Why in this DAY AND AGE is there no access for a wheelchair!???"
Doorman: "Because it's Masson Mills. A world heritage site. Built by Richard Arkwright in 1769."
That's not a leopard!
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TANGODANCER
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by TANGODANCER » Sun Jun 02, 2019 2:21 pm

Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 2:08 pm
TANGODANCER wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 1:36 pm
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 1:16 pm
Went to a wedding reception last night. Got cornered by four people (Anglo-saxon) from London.
Every other word was "yeah", "so", "but", "actually", "whatever" or a combination of the above.

"So, but, yeah..."
"Yeah, but..."
"Actually yeah..."
"Whatever so, but yeah we did"
"I said but, so..."

At one point I pleaded with one of them to stop starting every sentence with So.
His response was: "So, but, what d'you mean?"
Not still trying to make sense of today's ways and means are you Spots? I gave up a long time ago.
Conversation yesterday as I was passing by, walking the dog...
Man pushing woman in wheelchair: "Why in this DAY AND AGE is there no access for a wheelchair!???"
Doorman: "Because it's Masson Mills. A world heritage site. Built by Richard Arkwright in 1769."
:lol: Magic. Okay, ring for the butler take out all those modern electric light fittings and get some decent period tables and chairs in. Got to preserve tradition you know.
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?

Enoch
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Enoch » Sun Jun 02, 2019 3:36 pm

In London's fair city yesterday I had occasion to use the tube, Stanmore to Wembley Park.

With your Oyster Card, or contactless debit card, neither of which I have, £1.50 single.

Cash transaction, £4.60, thank you.

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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Mon Jun 03, 2019 1:27 pm

Enoch wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 3:36 pm
In London's fair city yesterday I had occasion to use the tube, Stanmore to Wembley Park.

With your Oyster Card, or contactless debit card, neither of which I have, £1.50 single.

Cash transaction, £4.60, thank you.
All that extra expense involved for storage (money bags, safes), germ control, currency fluctuation, and administration.
Handy hint: Carry a fake foreign passport with a HUGE stamp on one page with the words "Inmunidad diplomática" emblazoned in red across the centre, and just wave it imperiously at any and every opportunity.
It worked for me in northern India.
That's not a leopard!
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by TANGODANCER » Mon Jun 03, 2019 2:24 pm

Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Mon Jun 03, 2019 1:27 pm
Enoch wrote:
Sun Jun 02, 2019 3:36 pm
In London's fair city yesterday I had occasion to use the tube, Stanmore to Wembley Park.

With your Oyster Card, or contactless debit card, neither of which I have, £1.50 single.

Cash transaction, £4.60, thank you.
All that extra expense involved for storage (money bags, safes), germ control, currency fluctuation, and administration.
Handy hint: Carry a fake foreign passport with a HUGE stamp on one page with the words "Inmunidad diplomática" emblazoned in red across the centre, and just wave it imperiously at any and every opportunity.
It worked for me in northern India.
I'm seeing that mental image clearly memsaab.... :lol:
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?

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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Sat Jun 08, 2019 11:47 am

In Sainsbury's and just heard this:
Man - you haven't got any carrots!
Shop Assistant - yes, over there opposite the potatoes.
Man - but they're loose!
Shop Assistant - yes, we've run out of bagged this morning.
Man - that's no good to me , I don't know how many I need.

I do sympathise with his quandary. A long time ago (when we had a greengrocer as a corner shop) the missus sent me out to buy some mushrooms. I dutifully trotted to the corner greengrocers and asked for 'some mushrooms'. The greengrocer asked me how many and like an idiot I just plucked a random but seemingly realistic quantity out of the air - could I have a pound of mushrooms please. The Fxcker took great pleasure in loading up a huge bag of about sixty mushrooms. The missus went ballistic and marched the sack back and returned with eight mushrooms.
She's never sent me on an errand since without specifying the quantity in at least two different ways, usually as a maximum amount in dosh, along with either a specified weight and/or numeric quantity.
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Harry Genshaw » Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:15 pm

^ :lol:

I had a similar experience in a butchers in Horwich many moons ago. No bacon in the coop so I wandered into the busy butchers and joined the queue. The packet I got from the coop was usually around 2 quid.

I get to the front, butcher says "What'll it be?" & I ask for "three pound of bacon". I was a bit shocked at the huge pile he wrapped up for me and his request for "£7.12 please" or some such amount. I was too embarrassed to say anything in a busy shop and just paid up. We were eating bacon for weeks!
"Get your feet off the furniture you Oxbridge tw*t. You're not on a feckin punt now you know"

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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by TANGODANCER » Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:15 pm

Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 11:47 am
The Fxcker took great pleasure in loading up a huge bag of about sixty mushrooms. The missus went ballistic and marched the sack back and returned with eight mushrooms. She's never sent me on an errand since without specifying the quantity in at least two different ways, usually as a maximum amount in dosh, along with either a specified weight and/or numeric quantity.
Have you ever heard of a man being praised for getting shopping right that doesn't come out of a box or tin? I had the same mushroom saga only last week "Why have you brought two boxes of mushrooms? One would have been fine!
Nope, it really wouldn't. :wink:
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by TANGODANCER » Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:24 pm

TANGODANCER wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:15 pm
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 11:47 am
The Fxcker took great pleasure in loading up a huge bag of about sixty mushrooms. The missus went ballistic and marched the sack back and returned with eight mushrooms. She's never sent me on an errand since without specifying the quantity in at least two different ways, usually as a maximum amount in dosh, along with either a specified weight and/or numeric quantity.
Have you ever heard of a man being praised for getting shopping right that doesn't come out of a box or tin? I had the same mushroom saga only last week "Why have you brought two boxes of mushrooms? One would have been fine!
Nope, it really wouldn't. :wink:
p.s. I'm having Ainsley Herriots cream of wild mushroom soup for lunch I bought in Asda yesterday. . It came in a box. :lol:
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?

Burnden Paddock
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Burnden Paddock » Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:26 pm

Harry Genshaw wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:15 pm
^ :lol:

I had a similar experience in a butchers in Horwich many moons ago. No bacon in the coop so I wandered into the busy butchers and joined the queue. The packet I got from the coop was usually around 2 quid.

I get to the front, butcher says "What'll it be?" & I ask for "three pound of bacon". I was a bit shocked at the huge pile he wrapped up for me and his request for "£7.12 please" or some such amount. I was too embarrassed to say anything in a busy shop and just paid up. We were eating bacon for weeks!
Surely in the butchers you ask for the number of rashers you normally at breakfast? Three pounds! 😂

I’m just as bad tbh. I forget items even when I have a list! Mrs BP drives me mad though by writing ‘double cream’ with no specified quantity. HTF am I supposed to know?

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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by TANGODANCER » Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:33 pm

Wife's a very efficient shopper and a great cook, but I get my own back watching her trying to cut bread. She absolutely massacres an uncut loaf while I do a Bradley Walsh trying not to laugh. :D
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:54 pm

Burnden Paddock wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:26 pm
Harry Genshaw wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:15 pm
^ :lol:

I had a similar experience in a butchers in Horwich many moons ago. No bacon in the coop so I wandered into the busy butchers and joined the queue. The packet I got from the coop was usually around 2 quid.

I get to the front, butcher says "What'll it be?" & I ask for "three pound of bacon". I was a bit shocked at the huge pile he wrapped up for me and his request for "£7.12 please" or some such amount. I was too embarrassed to say anything in a busy shop and just paid up. We were eating bacon for weeks!
Surely in the butchers you ask for the number of rashers you normally at breakfast? Three pounds! 😂

I’m just as bad tbh. I forget items even when I have a list! Mrs BP drives me mad though by writing ‘double cream’ with no specified quantity. HTF am I supposed to know?
Exactly!
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Re: General Chit Chat

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:57 pm

TANGODANCER wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 12:33 pm
Wife's a very efficient shopper and a great cook, but I get my own back watching her trying to cut bread. She absolutely massacres an uncut loaf while I do a Bradley Walsh trying not to laugh. :D
Ha! Same here. The missus makes doorstops the thickness of breeze blocks.
I can do micro thin slices of bread (with no holes, and the same thickness throughout) and still retain a nice bit of crust. It's about the only thing foodwise that I can beat her at, mind.
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