The Death Row Meal

[Winter Hill White]

Steak pudding, chips, mushy peas and gravy. Pint of Bank Top Flat Cap.
Followed by cheese and biscuits (plenty of Roquefort please). Glass or two of port.

[Annoyed Grunt]

KFC Zinger Tower meal....

[William the White]

I hovered around this one before deciding it just had to be Lancashire hotpot, the potatoes browned and crispy round the edges, with carroty and onions, of course, and flavoured with salt, pepper and rosemary and a little garlic. The lamb either lamb chops, or mutton, dredged in seasoned flour before going into the pot... ... A little splash of red wine thrown in as well...

The wine? Even though it's not quite right, it has to be Gevrey Chambertin if it's the last i'm to have...

Then Seville Orange cake, with Seville orange juice flavoured with a cinnamon stick... And an Oz muscat lightly chilled...

So, whatever happens later, I've had a taste of heaven before...

[officer_dibble]

Takes a bit for me to venture here but I like tgis thread.

Onion bhajis with a bhuna dipping sauce to start.

Lasagne and chips! Made with tip top quality beef.

Apple pie and ice cream.

Bottle of ilkley mary jane.

[Gary the Enfield]

Fxck off you bastards, keep your menu. What's the point of being nice to me when you you're going to kill me in a couple of hours. You won't even let me smoke indoors. .

TD, two minutes in 'Old Sparky' and you'd be smoking plenty.

For me a fresh boiled (none of that sliced and fried nonsense) Black Pudding with lashings of English Mustard. Cup of tea and then a large JD and coke to finish.

Kill me now!

[TANGODANCER]

Fxck off you bastards, keep your menu. What's the point of being nice to me when you you're going to kill me in a couple of hours. You won't even let me smoke indoors. .

TD, two minutes in 'Old Sparky' and you'd be smoking plenty.!

Oh, very well then. A large Dover sole with two filleted plaice, some lemon slices, flat fried chips and a small side salad. Salt and vinegar to taste, eat the lot then knock seven bells out of the guards and affect a miraculous escape a la Tango and Cash. They ain't frying me tonight.

[Worthy4England]

Well, as I briefly mentioned on the post to which William refers, mine would be as follows;

Three pork & beef sausages (grilled or baked)
Two fried eggs (duck eggs)
Chips (Maris pipers or King Edwards)
Bread and butter (white, Lurpak full fat)

Rhubarb crumble and custard (one pint of, not tinned)

And to drink - tea (not much milk, no sugar).

Then off to the gallows.

No f***ing sauce?

You deserve what's coming.

Mind, an interesting point on the pork and beef sausages - If I was really pushed, I'd have proper beef sausages, the kind that I can't recall finding anywhere for about 40 years...

[wigan white]

Balti Lahori Gosht with proper "chip pan" chips & Garlic Naan,
followed by New York Baked Cheesecake and a Cadburys Freddo on the side (best chocolate ever),
all washed down with a bottle of Blue Moon American ale.

Executioner Im ready to face my audience................

[americantrotter]

Bacon Barm Sandwich as appetizer

Then a plate of fine BBQ from a barely literate man from the American South.
Pulled Pork, Brisket, Burnt ends, Ribs, with corn on the cob, coleslaw, and baked beans.

( Or a couple of burritos from Mango Tango in Newton, MA)

A gallon of Ice Cold sweet tea.

[Montreal Wanderer]

Bacon Barm Sandwich as appetizer

Then a plate of fine BBQ from a barely literate man from the American South.
Pulled Pork, Brisket, Burnt ends, Ribs, with corn on the cob, coleslaw, and baked beans.

( Or a couple of burritos from Mango Tango in Newton, MA)

A gallon of Ice Cold sweet tea.

I doubt you'd be alive at 8.00 am next morning...

[Lord Kangana]

Can I use artistic license, and have a last banquet?

I'll take the silence as a yes, so here goes....

Life has been cruel, so simple fayre is well off-reservation here. Last meals need to be memorable, if not for you, then at least for the bugger who had to prepare it. On balance, I'd want Paul Bocuse to cook it, Molecular Gastronomy is all well and good, but I want the Claude Monet treatment, not Damian bloody Hirst, when alls said and done .

Amuse Bouche:

Foie Gras d'Oie quickly seared in a pan and served on crisp white toasted baguette with a touch of fig jam from The Ariege pyrenees and a pinch of Maldon salt .
Wine: A nice small glass of Domaine Cauhape Folie de Janvier 2000 Jurancon to accompany.

First course:
Ortolan (first drowned in brandy) then made into a a Consomme en Surprise with a whole Perigord Truffle sliced into it.
Wine: 1994 La Rioja Alta Vina Ardanza Rioja Reserva

Fish course:
A lightly poached pave of Turbot with a sauce Nantua (Its important to understand here that 1) You have to rip the crayfish's intestines out whilst alive, and 2) you must then toss them into a hot frying pan and immediately flame with brandy. They must go in alive.) salsify mash, fresh Samphire and white asparagus lightly tossed in lashings of good butter, and Alba truffle. Go easy on the truffle, couldn't care less about the cost, they overpower.
Wine:1998 Zind-Humbrecht Pinot Gris Clos Jebsal

Meat:
Fillet of Holker Venison served with faggots made from its own offal, good rich jus made from oxtail.
Wine: Chateau Duhart-Milon Pauillac 2005. Well decanted. Whole bloody bottle too.

Dessert:
We'd have to get Simon Rogan to guest on this, but his Stiffy Tacky pudding is perfect for the flavour, but light to save room for the all-important cheese cours
Wine: 1969 Arnauld de Riveslates, Rivesaltes Ambre hors d'age

Cheeses: (all unpasteurised)
Ossau Iraty, Bethmale, Manchego, Roquefort, Tomme des Pyrenees, Berkswell, 3-year aged Gouda. Possibly with a little acorn-fed Iberico ham.
Wine: Finish off the bottle of Jurancon.

Now then, I'm just off to the cupboards to see if I've got any of that stuff in.

[Bruce Rioja]

Here's a taster menu. I'll happily ignore the rules

Two courses... Food and drink...

[Lord Kangana]

2 courses? I knew there was a reason I disagreed with capital punishment.

[William the White]

Here's a taster menu. I'll happily ignore the rules

Two courses... Food and drink...

Rule waived for post of the year!!!

aAm now checking out those bottles online...

And googling the Royal Crayfish Protection League...

[Bruce Rioja]

Here's a taster menu. I'll happily ignore the rules

Two courses... Food and drink...

Rule waived for post of the year!!!

aAm now checking out those bottles online...

And googling the Royal Crayfish Protection League...

fecking lefties. Too soft. No discipline.

Let me know if you source tasty crayfish though. There's a mate.

[Burnden Paddock]

Can I use artistic license, and have a last banquet?

I'll take the silence as a yes, so here goes....

Life has been cruel, so simple fayre is well off-reservation here. Last meals need to be memorable, if not for you, then at least for the bugger who had to prepare it. On balance, I'd want Paul Bocuse to cook it, Molecular Gastronomy is all well and good, but I want the Claude Monet treatment, not Damian bloody Hirst, when alls said and done .

Amuse Bouche:

Foie Gras d'Oie quickly seared in a pan and served on crisp white toasted baguette with a touch of fig jam from The Ariege pyrenees and a pinch of Maldon salt .
Wine: A nice small glass of Domaine Cauhape Folie de Janvier 2000 Jurancon to accompany.

First course:
Ortolan (first drowned in brandy) then made into a a Consomme en Surprise with a whole Perigord Truffle sliced into it.
Wine: 1994 La Rioja Alta Vina Ardanza Rioja Reserva

Fish course:
A lightly poached pave of Turbot with a sauce Nantua (Its important to understand here that 1) You have to rip the crayfish's intestines out whilst alive, and 2) you must then toss them into a hot frying pan and immediately flame with brandy. They must go in alive.) salsify mash, fresh Samphire and white asparagus lightly tossed in lashings of good butter, and Alba truffle. Go easy on the truffle, couldn't care less about the cost, they overpower.
Wine:1998 Zind-Humbrecht Pinot Gris Clos Jebsal

Meat:
Fillet of Holker Venison served with faggots made from its own offal, good rich jus made from oxtail.
Wine: Chateau Duhart-Milon Pauillac 2005. Well decanted. Whole bloody bottle too.

Dessert:
We'd have to get Simon Rogan to guest on this, but his Stiffy Tacky pudding is perfect for the flavour, but light to save room for the all-important cheese cours
Wine: 1969 Arnauld de Riveslates, Rivesaltes Ambre hors d'age

Cheeses: (all unpasteurised)
Ossau Iraty, Bethmale, Manchego, Roquefort, Tomme des Pyrenees, Berkswell, 3-year aged Gouda. Possibly with a little acorn-fed Iberico ham.
Wine: Finish off the bottle of Jurancon.

Now then, I'm just off to the cupboards to see if I've got any of that stuff in.

Not that you would be worried about the bill, but how much would us poor taxpayers be looking at to fund that little lot? I've never even heard of most of it. Need to have a think about mine now.

[Lord Kangana]

It depends.

Theres the potential £6k fine for catching and serving the Ortolan. I'm sure it being a public body, they'd have to follow the rules and fess up on that one.

Alba truffle comes in at about £5.4k/kg at the mo.

I have no idea how much Msr Bocuse charges out for his time, say £20K?

The rest (including wine) could probably be got hold of for about 2 grand tops total, so if you do the maths vs me doing a 30-stretch, its bargainous. They should offer the option IMHO.

[Bruce Rioja]

Foie Gras, by the way, LK, is undoubtedly utterly delicious, but, like eggs from caged hens, is something I refuse to buy (though I accept that they're a constituent ingredient of other things that I do buy).

[William the White]

Can I use artistic license, and have a last banquet?

I'll take the silence as a yes, so here goes....

Life has been cruel, so simple fayre is well off-reservation here. Last meals need to be memorable, if not for you, then at least for the bugger who had to prepare it. On balance, I'd want Paul Bocuse to cook it, Molecular Gastronomy is all well and good, but I want the Claude Monet treatment, not Damian bloody Hirst, when alls said and done .

Amuse Bouche:

Foie Gras d'Oie quickly seared in a pan and served on crisp white toasted baguette with a touch of fig jam from The Ariege pyrenees and a pinch of Maldon salt .
Wine: A nice small glass of Domaine Cauhape Folie de Janvier 2000 Jurancon to accompany.

First course:
Ortolan (first drowned in brandy) then made into a a Consomme en Surprise with a whole Perigord Truffle sliced into it.
Wine: 1994 La Rioja Alta Vina Ardanza Rioja Reserva

Fish course:
A lightly poached pave of Turbot with a sauce Nantua (Its important to understand here that 1) You have to rip the crayfish's intestines out whilst alive, and 2) you must then toss them into a hot frying pan and immediately flame with brandy. They must go in alive.) salsify mash, fresh Samphire and white asparagus lightly tossed in lashings of good butter, and Alba truffle. Go easy on the truffle, couldn't care less about the cost, they overpower.
Wine:1998 Zind-Humbrecht Pinot Gris Clos Jebsal

Meat:
Fillet of Holker Venison served with faggots made from its own offal, good rich jus made from oxtail.
Wine: Chateau Duhart-Milon Pauillac 2005. Well decanted. Whole bloody bottle too.

Dessert:
We'd have to get Simon Rogan to guest on this, but his Stiffy Tacky pudding is perfect for the flavour, but light to save room for the all-important cheese cours
Wine: 1969 Arnauld de Riveslates, Rivesaltes Ambre hors d'age

Cheeses: (all unpasteurised)
Ossau Iraty, Bethmale, Manchego, Roquefort, Tomme des Pyrenees, Berkswell, 3-year aged Gouda. Possibly with a little acorn-fed Iberico ham.
Wine: Finish off the bottle of Jurancon.

Now then, I'm just off to the cupboards to see if I've got any of that stuff in.

Not that you would be worried about the bill, but how much would us poor taxpayers be looking at to fund that little lot? I've never even heard of most of it. Need to have a think about mine now.

Well - the wine...

The Jurancon Amouse-bouche... £55.08
The Rioja first course... £53.19
The Zind-Humbrect fish course... £355.93
The Paulliac meat course... £73.07
The Riversaltes dessert... £72.80

Worth every penny, I reckon

[Lord Kangana]

That Jurancon price is cheap William, where did you get it?