Help. missing chicken...

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Next door neighbour is away (hip op), and me the dog just emerged out of our house to find one of his chickens on our property. The dog, being a collie, thought "this is fun, I can round it up" and shot off after it. I successfully used her collie commands to call a halt to the game, but it was too late and the chicken continued at full pelt to exit our garden. It was Las seen as it flung/flew itself over a seven foot drop off of a lawn that marks one of our boundaries. Below the drop is a path that splits, one way up some steps to a gate that leads onto the lawn the chicken launched itself from. The rest of the path makes its way up into the woods. Beyond the path the wood falls steeply away down to a back road one way, and goes up onto a hill on the other side. There's no sign of the chicken. Does anybody know, will the chicken make its own way home, and if not is it more likely to head up, or down???
I know nothing of chicken habits or homing instincts.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Spent half an hour searching. Can't find it anywhere. And we've got some biiiiiiiig foxes around here.

[Worthy4England]

You need to build a road.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

There's one at the bottom of the hill. I spent the first ten minutes of the search waiting to see if it would...

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Given up now. Mr Fox will be fine dining tonight.

[Worthy4England]

The chicken will cross the road - we don't know why, although there's a few theories...

[Lost Leopard Spot]

The chicken will cross the road - we don't know why, although there's a few theories...

It's a myth. This chicken went nowhere near the road. Maybe it's more bird brained than most.

[Harry Genshaw]

The chicken will cross the road - we don't know why, although there's a few theories...

It probably got run over by one of the bikers

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

It's sitting in the bushes with an ecig laughing at you

[Lost Leopard Spot]

It's sitting in the bushes with an ecig laughing at you

It'll be laughing on the other side of its beak when Reynard shows up later...
My next dilemma is do I tell Dave what's happened when he gets out of hospital tomorrow or do I feign complete ignorance as to where his chuck might be, uhmmmmm?

[Lost Leopard Spot]

The chicken will cross the road - we don't know why, although there's a few theories...

It probably got run over by one of the bikers

Don't mention the bikers. Blood pressure, rage, and psychopathia might ensue.

[Prufrock]

That's a very dead chicken!

[Lost Leopard Spot]

I knew I should have gone to Marge.

(is she still going, you know, Marge Proops, or have I dragged her up from the abyss of old age?)

[Worthy4England]

It's sitting in the bushes with an ecig laughing at you

It'll be laughing on the other side of its beak when Reynard shows up later...
My next dilemma is do I tell Dave what's happened when he gets out of hospital tomorrow or do I feign complete ignorance as to where his chuck might be, uhmmmmm?

You should tell him. He's not going to be able to run after you, he's just had a hip op.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

It's sitting in the bushes with an ecig laughing at you

It'll be laughing on the other side of its beak when Reynard shows up later...
My next dilemma is do I tell Dave what's happened when he gets out of hospital tomorrow or do I feign complete ignorance as to where his chuck might be, uhmmmmm?

You should tell him. He's not going to be able to run after you, he's just had a hip op.

He won't be able to run after the chicken either. And he might hold a grudge, I don't know, as my dog's never before driven his livestock over the edge (literally). Maybe best to keep shtum and hope nobody puts two and two together (Bolton Wanderers supporters are few and far between in these parts, and the only other one I know is illiterate (he goes on that Bolton Nuts thing!)).

[TANGODANCER]

It's sitting in the bushes with an ecig laughing at you

It'll be laughing on the other side of its beak when Reynard shows up later...
My next dilemma is do I tell Dave what's happened when he gets out of hospital tomorrow or do I feign complete ignorance as to where his chuck might be, uhmmmmm?

You should tell him. He's not going to be able to run after you, he's just had a hip op.

He won't be able to run after the chicken either. And he might hold a grudge, I don't know, as my dog's never before driven his livestock over the edge (literally). Maybe best to keep shtum and hope nobody puts two and two together (Bolton Wanderers supporters are few and far between in these parts, and the only other one I know is illiterate (he goes on that Bolton Nuts thing!)).

There's something very "Far from the madding crowd" about this....

[Il Pirate]

Take another chicken.
Kill, pluck & gut.
Spread a few feathers & swipe a bit of blood about the scene.
Roast dead chicken for around 1.5 to 2 hrs dependant on size.
When approached by neighbour, feign utter ignorance & walk away muttering something about foxes & problems.
Slice cooked chicken thinly and place on buttered muffins.
Season with a little salt & pepper.
Open bottle of chilled beer as accompaniment.
& fckn enjoy!!