Innapropriate Behaviour

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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by TANGODANCER » Thu Nov 02, 2017 11:46 pm

BWFC_Insane wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 9:47 pm

Or are you saying - trying to use a powerful postion to force yourself upon people who don't want it, but can't always do anything about it is not really that bad?
It would take a very foolish person to ask a stupid question like that. It would take an even more foolish one to feel a need to answer it.
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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by Hoboh » Fri Nov 03, 2017 7:06 am

BWFC_Insane wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:25 pm
TANGODANCER wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:01 pm
(Just a quick other observation: If every man who ever touched a woman's knee, accidentally or otherwise, is to be first in the Judgement queue it may take a while to get to the front. Such things had a habit of being resolved without the time-wasting or financial dealings of police and law courts. But hey, ho....).. :|
What if such knee touching was clearly not desired. And went on for a long time, and was a clear use of power to try and intimidate and make someone uncomfortable?

What if knee touching went on to something else.

Why would you (or anyone else for that matter) want to sweep previous inappropriate behaviour under the carpet?
What if someone said feck off touching my knee you prick? Maybe no nonsense from flaky feminists then, strange how I read quite a few comments from females who reckon all this stuff is just getting women a bad name and will eventually set back any progress they have made, sooner or later many men will want to have feck all to do with them.

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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by Hoboh » Fri Nov 03, 2017 7:11 am

BWFC_Insane wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 8:15 pm
TANGODANCER wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 8:04 pm
BWFC_Insane wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 7:11 pm

Sexually abusing kids used to be swept under the carpet and ignored generally by society. That doesn't mean we ignore it now. Nor should we ignore what men like Weinstein have done just because it happened in the past.
Another sweeping statment that's entirely wrong. Sexually abusing children has "never" been ignored generally by society. The only people interested in ignoring it have always been the perverted section of society doing it and covering it up. The rest of society have always been as rightfully outraged as they are now. I asked you not to confuse such crimes of the likes of Saville and co with sexual goings on between adults.....so of course you did.
You're right. It wasn't ignored, people didn't turn a blind eye.

That's why likes of Saville and Smith were bang to rights at the time....oh......

You've made my point for me.

What about Weinstein, was that all just 'harmless fun'?
Too quote your oft used excuse, a few rotten apples don't mean a shitty orchard or does that only apply when others have an opinion?

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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Fri Nov 03, 2017 11:56 am

Lord Kangana wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 10:30 pm
Because being hit by a blackboard duster is equivalent to being sexually abused.

Theres way too many self-absorbed Richard Littlejohns in the world these days.
Firstly: Never heard of Richard Littlejohn, so if it was an insult it's missed its mark.
Secondly my comparison was between being touched on the knee some years ago with no fuss made then and being touched on the side of the head by a flying brick of a duster some decades back with no fuss made then. Actually.
If you think being touched on the knee is sexual abuse and its fine to stone a child I'd seriously re-evaluate your morals.
Last edited by Lost Leopard Spot on Fri Nov 03, 2017 7:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by BWFC_Insane » Fri Nov 03, 2017 12:16 pm

Hoboh wrote:
Fri Nov 03, 2017 7:06 am
BWFC_Insane wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:25 pm
TANGODANCER wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:01 pm
(Just a quick other observation: If every man who ever touched a woman's knee, accidentally or otherwise, is to be first in the Judgement queue it may take a while to get to the front. Such things had a habit of being resolved without the time-wasting or financial dealings of police and law courts. But hey, ho....).. :|
What if such knee touching was clearly not desired. And went on for a long time, and was a clear use of power to try and intimidate and make someone uncomfortable?

What if knee touching went on to something else.

Why would you (or anyone else for that matter) want to sweep previous inappropriate behaviour under the carpet?
What if someone said feck off touching my knee you prick? Maybe no nonsense from flaky feminists then, strange how I read quite a few comments from females who reckon all this stuff is just getting women a bad name and will eventually set back any progress they have made, sooner or later many men will want to have feck all to do with them.
Because people weren't always in a position to say something like that. We're talking situations where people in power knowingly did things because they knew they'd get away with it.

It isn't just women who have suffered either.

The problem is when this stuff is reported people do exactly what you are and try to diminish it with the whole "quite complaining" "tell them to stop" nonsense. So people suffer in silence. Because they're worried what will happen, and because they know people will react how you are.

There is a difference between some unwanted awkward one off flirting at an office party and systemic constant harassment or unwanted advances in the workplace.

It doesn't take much social adjustment to be respectful. There is absolutely no reason to touch your work colleagues in a way that may make them feel uncomfortable. Of course mistakes get made. I'm not pillorying someone for one off things. I'm talking about long standing situations where people have continued knowing the recipient does not welcome or encourage it and used their position to do so.

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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by Prufrock » Fri Nov 03, 2017 12:35 pm

If you're one of the people wondering why women have been reluctant to come forward, the absolute hatchet-job on Kate Maltby by Dacre's lot should give you an idea.
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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by Hoboh » Fri Nov 03, 2017 5:09 pm

BWFC_Insane wrote:
Fri Nov 03, 2017 12:16 pm
Hoboh wrote:
Fri Nov 03, 2017 7:06 am
BWFC_Insane wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:25 pm
TANGODANCER wrote:
Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:01 pm
(Just a quick other observation: If every man who ever touched a woman's knee, accidentally or otherwise, is to be first in the Judgement queue it may take a while to get to the front. Such things had a habit of being resolved without the time-wasting or financial dealings of police and law courts. But hey, ho....).. :|
What if such knee touching was clearly not desired. And went on for a long time, and was a clear use of power to try and intimidate and make someone uncomfortable?

What if knee touching went on to something else.

Why would you (or anyone else for that matter) want to sweep previous inappropriate behaviour under the carpet?
What if someone said feck off touching my knee you prick? Maybe no nonsense from flaky feminists then, strange how I read quite a few comments from females who reckon all this stuff is just getting women a bad name and will eventually set back any progress they have made, sooner or later many men will want to have feck all to do with them.
Because people weren't always in a position to say something like that. We're talking situations where people in power knowingly did things because they knew they'd get away with it.

It isn't just women who have suffered either.

The problem is when this stuff is reported people do exactly what you are and try to diminish it with the whole "quite complaining" "tell them to stop" nonsense. So people suffer in silence. Because they're worried what will happen, and because they know people will react how you are.

There is a difference between some unwanted awkward one off flirting at an office party and systemic constant harassment or unwanted advances in the workplace.

It doesn't take much social adjustment to be respectful. There is absolutely no reason to touch your work colleagues in a way that may make them feel uncomfortable. Of course mistakes get made. I'm not pillorying someone for one off things. I'm talking about long standing situations where people have continued knowing the recipient does not welcome or encourage it and used their position to do so.
sorry I just don't get how patting ones knee on one occasion is abuse and have anything to do with 'power'. The bloke in question may be a knob but I doubt very much he was getting off over touching her knee a bit patronising, most likely, abuse? Oh please and a tacky joke about cold hands, the reaction is a p*ss take.

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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by TANGODANCER » Fri Nov 03, 2017 7:28 pm

"Between consenting adults" the criteria around which all sexual rules are supposed to conform to is the universal yes/no barrier on sexual matters whatever genre are involved. Is there anyone over sixteen on the planet who isn't aware of this in our enlightened sex education age? Don't they promote sex education in schools or is that a rumour? Oh, and it has been known on occasion for the offenders not to be ones with the pocket billiard set up front and centre. How many men have reported that I wonder? Nobody has to put up with anything they don't wish to and anyone abusing someone else against there will can only brought to task if someone knows about it. After that it's up to the law and the powers that be to set the status quo. Is it really any wonder these things happen when dating agencies only need a pc or mobile phone to lure victims in?

Incidentally, it's Friday night; I wonder just how much innapropriate touching will occur within the Parish boundaries alone in the next eight hours or so and how it's different because it isn't Westminster? ? I do wonder also just what's different between this year, last year and 1955? Oh, I know, the world only started this year. Anyone caught abusing kids should disappear without trace just as they should have since time began...but they won't and know it. Those decisions have nothing to do with the man in the street. Our views expressed from an armchair on a pc monitor are as much use as a paper diving suit. The law can only act if it has a crime to work on. If you're guilty of abuse, then you have nothing to complain about and deserve all you get. If you are abused, report it or give somebody an earful. Marching behind the tumbril to see somebody hung went out with the French Revolution.

Amen.
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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by Montreal Wanderer » Sat Nov 04, 2017 2:17 am

I suppose I should make a confession after 60 years. When I was 13 at boarding school I was held back by an adult in authority over me when the rest trooped out. The man held me by the buttocks crotch to crotch and talked of this and that. I could feel his erection. After a few minutes I told him I was late for another class and he let me go. Thereafter I made sure I was never last to leave the room. I subsequently discovered this was a common occurrence with him and boys my age. The story going round was that he had a 13 year old son killed in the war and should be pitied. I believed this at the time but subsequently consider it BS. There are two points to this. First, neither I nor, to the best of my knowledge, any of the other 'victims' reported this conduct which by any measure, even then, was unacceptable. Second, I don't think it affected me negatively in the future - it was a shared experience with many of my classmates, much discussed and frankly no big deal as far as we kids were concerned. Later, as an adult, I wondered if I should notify the school authorities but did nothing. I was in another country and at this point I'm sure he's been dead for forty years.

FYI, Spotty, we did have board dusters thrown generally above the head - it tended to wake one up. And we were caned which is probably assault in this day and age. Oerhaps all this convinced me to emigrate - I can't say - but I have no regrets. No law suits from me.
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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by TANGODANCER » Sat Nov 04, 2017 8:17 am

I also was innapropriately touched when I was about 11 or so, at a local swimming baths, by a man who claimed he only did it to stop me shivering with cold. He also tried to get me to go with him. I definitely didn't like it, I was terrified to be honest, and legged it. On my way out two big blokes ( who I realised much later were probably coppers) stopped me and asked me what he'd said, then told me not to worry and go home, which I rather quickly did. I soon forgot about it for many years and don't think I fully understood the implications at the time. I never told anyone because it was sorted.

As relevant: Just over ten years ago, Alan Bennet's "The History Boys" was hailed as a wonderful film and received rave reviews. Part of its subject: innapropriate touching of boys by a history teacher. The point of this statement isn't to side with right or wrong (wrong is always wrong and can be nothing else), but to show the changes in public attitudes that ten years can make as to the seriousness of the topic.
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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by Bruce Rioja » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:22 am

Our games teacher whacked me with a javelin because I wasn't holding it perfectly perpendicular. My old school pals still remember it, and that I had a red mark across my arse for two weeks.
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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by TANGODANCER » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:53 am

Funny how things come back to you. At primary school we lost a sports teacher who was sacked because his idea of gentle reprisal for girls was to bend them over his knee and apply "punishment" with a gym shoe. It was seen as a bit of a joke by some girls; the parents and staff saw it a little differently.
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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by Hoboh » Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:09 am

TANGODANCER wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:53 am
Funny how things come back to you. At primary school we lost a sports teacher who was sacked because his idea of gentle reprisal for girls was to bend them over his knee and apply "punishment" with a gym shoe. It was seen as a bit of a joke by some girls; the parents and staff saw it a little differently.
Aye strange how it was deemed okay to still whack boys with the plimsoll though, what about equality there then?

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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by BWFC_Insane » Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:50 am

Hoboh wrote:
Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:09 am
TANGODANCER wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:53 am
Funny how things come back to you. At primary school we lost a sports teacher who was sacked because his idea of gentle reprisal for girls was to bend them over his knee and apply "punishment" with a gym shoe. It was seen as a bit of a joke by some girls; the parents and staff saw it a little differently.
Aye strange how it was deemed okay to still whack boys with the plimsoll though, what about equality there then?
I suspect in TD's story the issue wasn't the "punishment" itself....

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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by jimbo » Mon Nov 06, 2017 9:39 am

Hoboh wrote:
Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:09 am
TANGODANCER wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:53 am
Funny how things come back to you. At primary school we lost a sports teacher who was sacked because his idea of gentle reprisal for girls was to bend them over his knee and apply "punishment" with a gym shoe. It was seen as a bit of a joke by some girls; the parents and staff saw it a little differently.

Aye strange how it was deemed okay to still whack boys with the plimsoll though, what about equality there then?

Because while undoubtably wrong, corporal punishment in schools wasn't illegal.

Inappropriate, non consensual sexual advances towards people on the other hand always was. There's lots of reasons why people don't come forward at the time which people on here seem incapable of grasping, insinuating instead that their claims are less valid given their historic nature.

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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by TANGODANCER » Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:47 am

TANGODANCER wrote:
Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:44 am
jimbo wrote:
Mon Nov 06, 2017 9:39 am

Because while undoubtably wrong, corporal punishment in schools wasn't illegal.Inappropriate, non consensual sexual advances towards people on the other hand always was. There's lots of reasons why people don't come forward at the time which people on here seem incapable of grasping, insinuating instead that their claims are less valid given their historic nature.
Got to take that one up Jimbo, because I don't believe anyone either thinks that, or is saying it. ( I'm probably amongst the most historical members here) Sexual abuse (being careful to make sure the words stay together, because "abuse" is the pivotal word, is never, and never has been a thing of consent or approval except in the most depraved minds, whatever the era. The main point (I believe) is the "rotten apples" entirely out of order tag that gets attached by generalising. All Catholic priests are not perverts or child abusers, neither are all members of any faction who deal with children as a vocation: teachers, scout-masters, youth club leaders etc, etc. Thus, all government officials, police chiefs and M.P's are not sex abusers. As much wrongdoing goes on amongst the belt and braces faction as it does amongst and the ermine and pearls set; always has and probably always will. There should be as much outrage at that idea as there is the readiness to believe otherwise. There is also, amazingly, a degree of difference between touching a woman's knee, purposely or accidentally, and attempting to force one into sex by lewd behaviour. Catch the 7-15 train to Manchester Piccadily or Oxford Road any work morning, and if you can reach either destination without making bodily contact with anyone of either sex you must be in the class of "Dynamo". There wouldn't be enough courts in Europe to deal with that one.

So, let's keep a sense of proportion about all of it and not be a squeaky clean third row stone chucker element that always make the loudest howls. Right and wrong don't need much explaining to most folk.

Amen. :oyea:
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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by boltonboris » Mon Nov 06, 2017 1:59 pm

My old teacher at high school was done for being a peado http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/ ... e-10311667

I wouldn't hear a bad word said about him, personally. I lost my virginity to that man
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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Mon Nov 06, 2017 6:45 pm

jimbo wrote:
Mon Nov 06, 2017 9:39 am
Hoboh wrote:
Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:09 am
TANGODANCER wrote:
Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:53 am
Funny how things come back to you. At primary school we lost a sports teacher who was sacked because his idea of gentle reprisal for girls was to bend them over his knee and apply "punishment" with a gym shoe. It was seen as a bit of a joke by some girls; the parents and staff saw it a little differently.

Aye strange how it was deemed okay to still whack boys with the plimsoll though, what about equality there then?

Because while undoubtably wrong, corporal punishment in schools wasn't illegal.

Inappropriate, non consensual sexual advances towards people on the other hand always was. There's lots of reasons why people don't come forward at the time which people on here seem incapable of grasping, insinuating instead that their claims are less valid given their historic nature.
You seem to misunderstand me, let me enlighten you: "given their historic nature" and equally 'stating the bleeding obvious that knee touching is neither illegal nor sexual abuse' I'm not insinuating anything, I'm stating it out loud: THEIR CLAIMS ARE LESS VALID.
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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by boltonboris » Tue Nov 07, 2017 2:14 pm

did this really happen, or are you making up a scarcely believable story to link it to a current topic in order to engage debate?
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Re: Innapropriate Behaviour

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Tue Nov 07, 2017 6:46 pm

boltonboris wrote:
Tue Nov 07, 2017 2:14 pm
did this really happen, or are you making up a scarcely believable story to link it to a current topic in order to engage debate?
What? The duster to the head?
Yes it really happened. Thornbridge Grammar school c.1967. Teacher name of (struggling to remember... currently Weissman is popping up).

However, I'm making the point it's just one of life's 'incidents'. I don't really feel the need to persue the cxnt, just like those who've had a knee touched x number of years ago need to shut the fxck up.

& P.fxckinS. Scarcely believable? Are you of the snowflake generation? It was almost a weekly occurrence to somebody back then...
( or are you being ironic and sarcastic?)
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