Joke thread

If you have a life outside of BWFC, then this is the place to tell us all about your toilet habits, and those bizarre fetishes.......

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Worthy4England
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Re: Joke thread

Post by Worthy4England » Fri Mar 04, 2016 1:01 pm

:lol:

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Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Mon Mar 07, 2016 10:50 am

Image

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Re: Joke thread

Post by TANGODANCER » Mon Mar 07, 2016 11:12 am

:lol: ^^ That's straight from the "Mr Darcy never actually went for a swim or appeared in a wet shirt in 1815, that was Colin Firth in 1995!" school of shopping bags. Love it.. :wink:
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Re: Joke thread

Post by clapton is god » Thu Mar 10, 2016 9:08 am

The police are searching my home, my garage, my shed and my garden for stolen tyres. My wife is leading them around the gaff but I’m just trying to keep a low profile.

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Re: Joke thread

Post by clapton is god » Thu Mar 10, 2016 7:01 pm

A moth doesn't feel very well so it goes to see a paediatrician.

"I don't feel very well doc. I have no energy and a sore chest."

The paediatrician says "I specialise in children's medicine. You need a GP. Why did you come to me?"

And the moth says "Your light was on."

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Re: Joke thread

Post by clapton is god » Thu Mar 10, 2016 7:08 pm

Jesus and the disciples go into a restaurant and Jesus says "Can I have a table for 26 please?"

The maitre 'd says "But there's only 13 of you!"

Jesus says "Well, we all tend to sit on the same side of the table."

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Worthy4England » Thu Mar 10, 2016 7:16 pm

Gotta say Clappers, you've set a whole new standard there fella!

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Enoch » Thu Mar 10, 2016 7:35 pm

Not quite Mr Worthy.
Dec last year thebish wrote:Image

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Worthy4England » Thu Mar 10, 2016 7:38 pm

:lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: Oh the picture....makes all the difference.

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Lost Leopard Spot » Thu Mar 10, 2016 8:59 pm

Worthy4England wrote::lmfao: :lmfao: :lmfao: Oh the picture....makes all the difference.
Puts it in context, at least. Still a shit joke though.
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Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Sat Mar 12, 2016 7:52 pm

Image

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Enoch » Tue Mar 15, 2016 10:33 am

I just bought eight legs of venison for £200.

Is that too dear?

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Andy Waller » Mon Mar 21, 2016 8:52 am

I've just heard that there's a cross-eyed burglar doing the rounds.

If you see someone shady, peering through your window, warn your neighbours...
What a hero, What a man...... Ooooh, what a bad foul...

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Burnden Paddock » Mon Mar 28, 2016 8:30 pm

Rumours of a food shortage at this years Annual Spoonerism Awards turned out to be a complete lack of pies.

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Montreal Wanderer » Mon Mar 28, 2016 9:31 pm

Burnden Paddock wrote:Rumours of a food shortage at this years Annual Spoonerism Awards turned out to be a complete lack of pies.
This works on two levels so :oyea:
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Re: Joke thread

Post by General Mannerheim » Tue Mar 29, 2016 11:59 am

Two cops came to my house last night and asked if I could show them a photo of the wife. I showed them one off the mantelpiece and one said "Were sorry, it looks like she's been run over."

"Yeah I know" I said, " but she's great with the kids."

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Enoch » Sat Apr 09, 2016 12:44 am

I've just got a new step ladder.

My real ladder left with the decorator.

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Re: Joke thread

Post by clapton is god » Sat Apr 09, 2016 10:06 am

Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Heathrow.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days."

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Worthy4England » Sat Apr 09, 2016 10:18 am

clapton is god wrote:Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Heathrow.
"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.
"German," she replies.
"Occupation?"
"No, just here for a few days."
:lol: :lol:

Think last time I heard this it was Helmut Kohl, so I'd forgot it...

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Re: Joke thread

Post by Enoch » Sat Apr 09, 2016 10:35 am

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?

Just one,

but it takes the entire Accident & Emergency department to get it out.

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