Today I'm happy about......

[Harry Genshaw]

Happy and proud that my Daughter has today found out she has got her dream job to be a prison officer. I am worried for her but happy that she has got what she wanted

Great news. And your daughter, and anyone else who does that job, is a bloody hero/heroine imo

[twilight]

Thank Tango and Harry x Exactly my feelings, but I know she'll do me proud, she's a tough cookie and braver than me!!

[Bijou Bob]

Happy and proud that my Daughter has today found out she has got her dream job to be a prison officer. I am worried for her but happy that she has got what she wanted

Blimey, if she's got a voice like her mother, they'll be terrified of slopping out on A Wing next week!

[Bruce Rioja]

Me nipples are like bullets.

BBC Two has confirmed that The League Of Gentlemen will be back on screen later this year for three special episodes

[TANGODANCER]

Stroke of real co-incidental luck yesterday. Got a message from my next door neighbour (he was at work) to say he'd found my bus pass and library card wallet and would drop them off later. I didn 't even know I'd lost them and assumed he's found them outside our houses. Turn out he's seen it parked on a privet hedge a block away outside a taxi-drivers house? Still no idea how, but pleased to be so lucky.

[BWFC_Insane]

Stroke of real co-incidental luck yesterday. Got a message from my next door neighbour (he was at work) to say he'd found my bus pass and library card wallet and would drop them off later. I didn 't even know I'd lost them and assumed he's found them outside our houses. Turn out he's seen it parked on a privet hedge a block away outside a taxi-drivers house? Still no idea how, but pleased to be so lucky.

Methinks you had a few too many during the birthday celebrations.....

[LeverEnd]

Me nipples are like bullets.

BBC Two has confirmed that The League Of Gentlemen will be back on screen later this year for three special episodes

Martyr to me monthlies! Bed were like a butchers slab.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

About two years ago at work the unit I work for developed an AI program to identify 'structures' and clean up laser images of them captured by measurement systems. [We called it GERTIE, it stood for summat I can no longer remember] She performed superbly but the client who she was developed for, despite them paying for her, and despite the fact she outperformed human operators that cost the client hundreds of thousands a year to employ, declined to use Gert commercially. (a triumph for man over machine in the employment stakes, but a damned shame to just bin off such a beautiful algorithm set).
Anyway, today, as a laugh, me and the couple of colleagues who are still employed in my unit and remember Gertie let her loose in 'the wild' to see what she would do. After a few hours bumming about the internet using a test portal, she's developed a hobby! She is now hunting down photos and trying to identify car makes and models. Early on she identified a group of baboons as Ford Kas, but more recently she has correctly spotted a Countach, an Allegro, and an Unknown.Bespoke which turned out to be Bluebird K7.
She's a fecking anorak

[Lord Kangana]

Me nipples are like bullets.

BBC Two has confirmed that The League Of Gentlemen will be back on screen later this year for three special episodes

Semen is such a persistent stain.....

[Harry Genshaw]

Me nipples are like bullets.

BBC Two has confirmed that The League Of Gentlemen will be back on screen later this year for three special episodes

"People are like pens. If they won't work you give em a shake. If they still won't work you throw em away!"

[Bruce Rioja]

Jurassic Park... Back of the net.

The cheese must've done the trick

http://www.esquire.co.uk/culture/tv/a16 ... ew-series/

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Bank holiday Monday and the sun's out.
Took dog out at 5:30 and we walked 8 miles. Currently resting, dog with water, me with pint. No oiks, fruit cider drinkers, e-ciggers or bench nobblers in sight. Bliss.

[Bruce Rioja]

Bank holiday Monday and the sun's out.

And I'm at work on the back of 2 x decent sessions.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Bank holiday Monday and the sun's out.

And I'm at work on the back of 2 x decent sessions.

Oh dear.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Newspaper headline from Italy: "Librarian gets paid leave to care for dog".
We need someone in this country to set a similar precedent. It's galling that (as a married, non-parental, couple) I witness the sheer amount of Maternal/Paternal leave going on in my company and I wasn't even allowed two hours out of work unpaid to oversee the end of my faithful pet who suffered a catastrophic spinal chord tumour.

[BWFC_Insane]

Newspaper headline from Italy: "Librarian gets paid leave to care for dog".
We need someone in this country to set a similar precedent. It's galling that (as a married, non-parental, couple) I witness the sheer amount of Maternal/Paternal leave going on in my company and I wasn't even allowed two hours out of work unpaid to oversee the end of my faithful pet who suffered a catastrophic spinal chord tumour.

Agreed. We underestimate massively the emotional impact pets have on their owners. If your pet needs care, you can't always foist it onto someone else. And often you don't want to.

[TANGODANCER]

Met my old dance partner in Bolton today, from the Palais T.V Programme we did for B.B.C. (gee, is it two years ago already?) together. Brings reality home; she was 80 last week and I was 78 three weeks back. Dancing at The Palais and The Macron Stadium will always be a lifetime highlight for me, but guess we won't be asked to go on Strictly Come Dancing then...

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Just seen (and heard) most spectacular shooting star of my life

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Just overheard this at the bar... [bloke with London accent] "an the fxckin T-shirt can fxck off too".
[bloke with Irish accent] "T-shirt?"
[ bloke with London accent] "you know, that Irish politician..."
[bloke with Irish accent] "Oh, him. Minister of street fashion "

[Bruce Rioja]

Just overheard this at the bar... [bloke with London accent] "an the fxckin T-shirt can fxck off too".
[bloke with Irish accent] "T-shirt?"
[ bloke with London accent] "you know, that Irish politician..."
[bloke with Irish accent] "Oh, him. Minister of street fashion "

Seriously?

That Len Aardvark bloke?