THE FIRST EVER BOLTON WANDERERS BASED ACTION ADVENTURE NOVEL

[Montreal Wanderer]

who the f uck is Mark Cox???

I went to school with a tennis player of that name - he wasn't that bad...

[Batman]

No mention of cost on that website, that's a worry

[Soldier_Of_The_White_Army]

No mention of cost on that website, that's a worry

That's because it's not ready for purchase yet. It will be ready in two weeks. (for what it's worth, I decide the cost of the book)

Paperback - £5.80

Hardback - £7.99

I have asked for the book to be sold for the lowest possible price and that was it.

[enfieldwhite]

Well done Soldier! Although I worry for the state of our nation with you seemingly permanently posted behind a laptop.

I seem to recall a previous post about a small display in a Waterstone's store in London?

Is this still happening?

[Soldier_Of_The_White_Army]

Well done Soldier! Although I worry for the state of our nation with you seemingly permanently posted behind a laptop.

I seem to recall a previous post about a small display in a Waterstone's store in London?

Is this still happening?

Oi! I've still to finish 'The Mist of Clarity' yet sunshine. Your fate still hangs in the balance. Be nice!


I have been told that a copy will be available in the Waterstone's store (please let me know if this is not the case, cheers)

[Don Alonso]

sounds great.

Who is the "love interest?"

Is there a father figure who gets killed near the end, thus forcing the hero to have the courage to fulfill his destiny?

Is there a bad guy?

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY....

Do any dingles get zapped in it?

[enfieldwhite]

Well done Soldier! Although I worry for the state of our nation with you seemingly permanently posted behind a laptop.

I seem to recall a previous post about a small display in a Waterstone's store in London?

Is this still happening?

Oi! I've still to finish 'The Mist of Clarity' yet sunshine. Your fate still hangs in the balance. Be nice!


I have been told that a copy will be available in the Waterstone's store (please let me know if this is not the case, cheers)

I'm sure you can see the gate from the guard room window!

Which store is it, and when?

[Bruce Rioja]

That's what I meant to ask you, Squaddie. Are there any changes, edits or additional material from the original stuff that you posted up?

[Soldier_Of_The_White_Army]

sounds great.

Who is the "love interest?"

Is there a father figure who gets killed near the end, thus forcing the hero to have the courage to fulfill his destiny?

Is there a bad guy?

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY....

Do any dingles get zapped in it?

You've either read the story and are winding me up, or have an incredible perception ability.

[Soldier_Of_The_White_Army]

That's what I meant to ask you, Squaddie. Are there any changes, edits or additional material from the original stuff that you posted up?

It was very important to me that the story, names and events stayed true to the original.

Authorhouse spent a good two months trying to convince me to change the names of the characters especially. Unfortionetley for them, the contract I signed gave me 100% creative control, which means they could not change a single comma without my say so, and it was very important to me that none of the character names were changed.

This was for two reasons:

1. It was made here, for you, the members of T-W. Who the fxck am I to change it!

2. I wanted the published novel to be different. You can pick up any book and find a hero named 'John Smith' if this book is going to go anywhere I had to find a way of making it stand out, make it different from the rest. You throw two main characters named 'Commie' and 'Bruce Rioja' a tyrant named 'Bench' and support from the likes of 'Crazy Horse' and 'Mummy' and you have that.

For your infomation, the characters they really tried to change:

1. Commie - Ooooooh they really didn't like this. They nagged me and nagged me to change it for a long bloody time - Sorry, no dice.

2. Mummy - Wanted me to change him to 'Blister' for some strange reason!

3. Batman - Now I could actually see their point here TBH, but, in for a penny

4. Gertie - They wanted Jesssica.

5. TANGODANCER - Wanted it changed to simply Dancer.

6. Quiff - Unrealistic.

Long story short, they wanted almost all the names changed. They had a woman called Emma ring me, to 'address thier concerns' by god they know which buttons to press too!

Though they really did like:

1. Gravedigger

2. Daxter

3. Blurred.

4. Gnome

5. Perfan.

6. Mof

As it is, the story is as it was. except for one name.


'Bolton Billy', who is now 'Bash Billy' sorry

[Bruce Rioja]

Hey, it's your book FFS. Well done mate, really well done!

[CrazyHorse]

Interesting stuff SOTWA. I had no idea you'd done so much tooing and froing to get this project off the ground!

How come you changed Bolton Billy's name to Bash Billy though?

[Bruce Rioja]

Oh, and err - Launch party?

[Little Green Man]

Well done! Have you sold the film rights yet?

[Montreal Wanderer]

2. Mummy - Wanted me to change him to 'Blister' for some strange reason!

Makes perfect sense to me....

[sluffy]

Early days I know but if your book is turned into a film who would play the parts?

As a bit of fun I have thought of these people for their obvious (or not so obvious) connections -

Cast:

Commie - Simon Pegg
Gertie - Helen of Troy
Crazy Horse - Emlyn Hughes
Ratbert - Scott Adams
Mummy - Lord Denning
Steady - The Invisible Man
Enfield White - Stephen Twigg
Perfan - The Queen of Hearts
CAPSLOCK - Clyde of the Ant Hill Mob
Bench - Michael Barrymore
Zulu - Stanley Baker
Warthog - Pinky or Perky
Gravedigger - William Burke or William Hare
Luna - Ernö Goldfinger
Bruce Rioja - Colin Toddy
Mof - The Scarlet Pimpernel
Daxter - Billy Bunter
SOTWA - Dave Spikey
H. Pederson - The Danish Carpenter himself
Dujon - Ned Kelly
Keveh - Bill Gates
American Trotter - Ted Danson
Batman - Val Kilmer
TANGODANCER - Peggy Spencer
Athers - Bent from Bent and Bongs
Hisroyalgingerness - Chris Evans
Gnome - David Bowie

Can anyone do any better?

[Soldier_Of_The_White_Army]

Interesting stuff SOTWA. I had no idea you'd done so much tooing and froing to get this project off the ground!

How come you changed Bolton Billy's name to Bash Billy though?

If I'm being honest, it just sounded wrong in the chapter, no matter which angle I tried to look at it from. (taken from the original text)



CHAPTER FOUR

RATBERT’S RATS


It wasn’t just the Vault Dwellers that had been forced underground, the deep caves of Winter hill housed a different resident of the scorched Earth. Not everyone had escaped the fallout, some who had travelled from the Middle East brought with them evidence of the horrific aftermath the World outside Britain had succumbed to. Their twisted and mutated bodies stopped any hope of rejoining any civilised society. Most radiates would fall victim of ‘The Hunters’ gangs from the south that hunted them for sport, either killing them on the spot in what ever way amused them, but more often then not forcing them to fight each other to the death in steel cages laced with barbed wire and broken glass. The death of a radiate was never a quick one.
Yet, for those that survived the cruelties of a society they would give their soles to join, there was a hope. For most Uplanders the ultimate target was to find someway to become a Vault Dweller. For the Radiates the ultimate target was to join mutant’s paradise that was rumoured to be somewhere in Lancashire. If a Radiate was lucky enough to learn this information, lucky enough to get into Britain, lucky enough to escape the Hunter gangs and lucky enough to find the caves of Winter hill. They had the chance of joining the Rats, If they were excepted and deemed worthy. The life of a Radiate was not full of smiles.
Deep within a cave Ratbert was taking an initiation of two Radiates that had managed to reach their sanctuary. Ratbert had been head of the Rat’s since the death of the societies founder, Steve Smalley or ‘Bolton Billy’ as he was known by his followers. Since Ratbert had taken over the reigns of the Rats they had doubled in number due to Ratbert’s natural leadership skills and vast intellect. Billy had been a warrior who’s aim was to kill as many norms (Uplanders) as possible. It was a tactic that almost destroyed the radiate society. Bolton Billy was said to have been killed during a raid on the town hall of Manchester, the truth was that Billy was killed by Ratbert. It wasn’t that Ratbert hated Billy, the two of them had grown up together and Ratbert loved him as a brother, but he loved the Rats more. If Billy had been allowed to continue his reign of terror the Uplanders would have retaliated and wiped the radiates from the world.
Though Billy’s death still haunted him to this day, seeing the Rats double in size and strength was enough for Ratbert to justify the actions he took that day to himself. His commitment to his cause was all that mattered to Ratbert now. ‘Why are you here?’ Ratbert said turning to one of the initiates. The initiate looked up at Ratbert’s deformed and mutated features. His left eye was two inches lower then his right, the whole of his top lip was missing, his skin was a deep shade of yellow and the few strands of hair that remained were scattered in patches around his scalp. ‘I came to join, I have nothing left and nowhere to go, I had heard that you was taking in norms and hoped that I could find a home here’ The fact was that Ratbert had been accepting norms into his society, his ultimate aim was to have all radiates accepted into upland society, and it would be hypocritical of him not the accept norms into his.

13
‘Were have you come from?’ The voice came from Ratbert left, a tall gangly man stood with is arms folded. He was covered from the neck up in bandages everything but the man‘s eyes were covered. Though it was a common miscomprehension, he was no Radiate. During a patrol early in Ratbert’s campaign he had come across a burning house on the edge of town, on investigation he had found a man half burnt in screaming agony twenty yards from the front door. Bolton Billy ordered the patrol to carry on past the house leaving the man to his fate, yet Ratbert though hard as steel as a warrior had a soft heart and a great respect for all life, took the man back and had his medics nurse him back to health. The man never removed his bandages. He was determined that there is only one man who would ever see his gruesome features again, and that would be the man responsible for his looks and the death of his wife and two children, a man named Bench.
Because of his features he quickly earned the nickname Mummy by his peers, but would never be called it by his subordinates. No fire would ever be lit in his presents. The sight of a flame was enough to give him violent flashbacks of watching his families demise. On these occasions he would become temporarily insane. His insanity would last for days and he could be found gnawing on wooden chairs and paper. Other times he would be found cowering in a corner with his hands pressed hard against his ears begging for the screams to stop. He was a tortured sole that lived for one propose, retribution.
Mummy, was the only other man to match Ratbert’s commitment to the cause, and was well known for smelling a spy. He was Ratbert’s second in command and the only person he trusted. It was at this point that one of the excepted norms bust into the chamber out of breath.
‘Sir, Sir, there has been an incident!’ It was Mummy that spoke first.
‘Calm down man, what has happened, were is Dave and the others?’
‘We were jumped Sir, we found what we thought was a spy and was in the middle of err…interrogating him when some guy turned up’ Mummy was starting to lose his temper at the man’s lack of composure.
‘And!’ he snapped,
‘Well he just stood there grinning, with a damn cigar sticking out of his mouth’
Ratbert who had been looking away, suddenly took interest in what the man had to say.
‘Did he have an Indian with him?’ he said in a curious tone.
‘I’ll say sir, the biggest motherfucker I have ever seen, he took out both Dave and Digger at the same time!’ the man replied. Ratbert stood up and looked at Mummy, who give Ratbert a knowing look. Ratbert dismissed everyone but Mummy from his chamber. Then looking at nothing in particular he grinned.
‘So Commie, you made it this far!’
Ratbert shook his head
‘The man’s a glutton for punishment, does he not know forbidden love is forbidden love?’ he said with a sigh
‘Ahhhh don’t underestimate love Ratbert‘ replied Mummy, ‘It can be a powerful ally or a dangerous curse Saying that, he has never been one for knowing when he is beaten’ he said with a smirk
‘A pain in the arse you mean’ replied Ratbert, sitting back in his chair as he thought back

14
to the first meeting he had with the wanderer.
‘Quite so, Mummy, quite so. The man can be a thorn alright!’
‘Should I send a team out?’ enquired Mummy. Ratbert nodded in agreement.
‘Just to watch them, Mummy and report back. If he is heading were I think he is, the shit’s going to hit the fan for sure’. Nodding in concurrence, Mummy left the chamber. As Ratbert watched him leave he sat back and sniggered to himself
‘Ha., the Rogue and the Princess eh? Well if nothing else, It would make an interesting bedtime story!’

[Soldier_Of_The_White_Army]

Early days I know but if your book is turned into a film who would play the parts?

As a bit of fun I have thought of these people for their obvious (or not so obvious) connections -

Cast:

Commie - Simon Pegg
Gertie - Helen of Troy
Crazy Horse - Emlyn Hughes
Ratbert - Scott Adams
Mummy - Lord Denning
Steady - The Invisible Man
Enfield White - Stephen Twigg
Perfan - The Queen of Hearts
CAPSLOCK - Clyde of the Ant Hill Mob
Bench - Michael Barrymore
Zulu - Stanley Baker
Warthog - Pinky or Perky
Gravedigger - William Burke or William Hare
Luna - Ernö Goldfinger
Bruce Rioja - Colin Toddy
Mof - The Scarlet Pimpernel
Daxter - Billy Bunter
SOTWA - Dave Spikey
H. Pederson - The Danish Carpenter himself
Dujon - Ned Kelly
Keveh - Bill Gates
American Trotter - Ted Danson
Batman - Val Kilmer
TANGODANCER - Peggy Spencer
Athers - Bent from Bent and Bongs
Hisroyalgingerness - Chris Evans
Gnome - David Bowie

Can anyone do any better?

I actually thought hard on this (you do that kind of thing as sad as it sounds, believe me.)

I'll post my names up when I've got back from the shop

[Soldier_Of_The_White_Army]

Well done! Have you sold the film rights yet?

No, but I'll not stop until I do (you can think that's tongue in cheek if you like )

Though I have written to:


1. Richard and Judy

2. Soccer AM

And I've only just started.

[TANGODANCER]

Early days I know but if your book is turned into a film who would play the parts?

As a bit of fun I have thought of these people for their obvious (or not so obvious) connections -

Cast:

Commie - Simon Pegg
Gertie - Helen of Troy
Crazy Horse - Emlyn Hughes
Ratbert - Scott Adams
Mummy - Lord Denning
Steady - The Invisible Man
Enfield White - Stephen Twigg
Perfan - The Queen of Hearts
CAPSLOCK - Clyde of the Ant Hill Mob
Bench - Michael Barrymore
Zulu - Stanley Baker
Warthog - Pinky or Perky
Gravedigger - William Burke or William Hare
Luna - Ernö Goldfinger
Bruce Rioja - Colin Toddy
Mof - The Scarlet Pimpernel
Daxter - Billy Bunter
SOTWA - Dave Spikey
H. Pederson - The Danish Carpenter himself
Dujon - Ned Kelly
Keveh - Bill Gates
American Trotter - Ted Danson
Batman - Val Kilmer
TANGODANCER - Peggy Spencer
Athers - Bent from Bent and Bongs
Hisroyalgingerness - Chris Evans
Gnome - David Bowie

Can anyone do any better?

FFS, Peggy Spencer, you could at least have said Frank.