Today I'm angry about.....

[boltonboris]

My missus' car is only programmed to go 5 miles down the road to her mothers. It doesn't do motorways...

Could you not have got them to come to you? That way you could've just got up and said "You'd bore a badger out in winter, you tedious twunt. I'm off to the pub".

Haha! I may be using that soon

We could probably help each other here - I could call you with something "really important" and you could do the same for me.

Ha! It could work!!

[Worthy4England]

My missus' car is only programmed to go 5 miles down the road to her mothers. It doesn't do motorways...

Could you not have got them to come to you? That way you could've just got up and said "You'd bore a badger out in winter, you tedious twunt. I'm off to the pub".

Haha! I may be using that soon

We could probably help each other here - I could call you with something "really important" and you could do the same for me.

Ha! It could work!!

It's been known to previously.

[Bruce Rioja]

My missus' car is only programmed to go 5 miles down the road to her mothers. It doesn't do motorways...

Could you not have got them to come to you? That way you could've just got up and said "You'd bore a badger out in winter, you tedious twunt. I'm off to the pub".

Haha! I may be using that soon

Be my guest. Oh, hang on........

See, it's always better to just come straight out with the beef, I find.

Far better than the list of tactful indications that a guest has overstayed their welcome, which includes;

Unplugging the television.
Yawning massively
Coming downstairs in one's PJs
Putting the milk bottles out
Removing the ashtray
Playing Flamenco music (a new one for the list, cheers TD )
etc. etc

[Worthy4England]

My missus' car is only programmed to go 5 miles down the road to her mothers. It doesn't do motorways...

Could you not have got them to come to you? That way you could've just got up and said "You'd bore a badger out in winter, you tedious twunt. I'm off to the pub".

Haha! I may be using that soon

Be my guest. Oh, hang on........

See, it's always better to just come straight out with the beef, I find.

Far better than the list of tactful indications that a guest has overstayed their welcome, which includes;

Unplugging the television.
Yawning massively
Coming downstairs in one's PJs
Putting the milk bottles out
Removing the ashtray
Playing Flamenco music (a new one for the list, cheers TD )
etc. etc

Being on the other end of the equation today (as invitee), I can only hope they put some Flamenco music on within the first 45 minutes. At which point, I'm entirely justified to spin on my heel and storm out saying "I know where I'm not wanted"...(If Boris hasn't called me by then).

[Gary the Enfield]

When it's time for the Grasshoppers to leave I usually stick a bit of backgound music on. Flamenco music usually gets folk remembering they have to dash off.

That, and the sight of yon host in full Don Quixote garb flashing his castanets with a rose fixed in his teeth!

Quelle fromage!, as Del Boy would say.

[boltonboris]

I usually just open the front door and point in that direction

[Bruce Rioja]

When it's time for the Grasshoppers to leave I usually stick a bit of backgound music on. Flamenco music usually gets folk remembering they have to dash off.

That, and the sight of yon host in full Don Quixote garb flashing his castanets with a rose fixed in his teeth!

Quelle fromage!, as Del Boy would say.

Superb!

[TANGODANCER]

When it's time for the Grasshoppers to leave I usually stick a bit of backgound music on. Flamenco music usually gets folk remembering they have to dash off.

That, and the sight of yon host in full Don Quixote garb flashing his castanets with a rose fixed in his teeth!

Quelle fromage!, as Del Boy would say.

Oi, who's been talking?

[Hoboh]

When it's time for the Grasshoppers to leave I usually stick a bit of backgound music on. Flamenco music usually gets folk remembering they have to dash off.

That, and the sight of yon host in full Don Quixote garb flashing his castanets with a rose fixed in his teeth!

Quelle fromage!, as Del Boy would say.

Oi, who's been talking?

Aall that trouble when a simple bout of farting or just a plain feck off will do

[Harry Genshaw]

I hate that last week the Triathlon in that there London got Tv coverage.

This week a far bigger event, the UK Ironman -Respect to all the lunatics that did it - & I cant find owt on any of my dozen or so sports channels. Just cos its in Bolton you bastrds

[Raven]

BT still not fixing my phone line (with Sky so they are probably taking their time on purpose)

And a stupid fecking woman at a roundabout this morning in the wrong lane going all the way round on the outside (and not using indicators)

[Hoboh]

BT still not fixing my phone line (with Sky so they are probably taking their time on purpose)

And a stupid fecking woman at a roundabout this morning in the wrong lane going all the way round on the outside (and not using indicators)

You met the sister-in-law then?

[Bruce Rioja]

And a stupid fecking woman at a roundabout this morning in the wrong lane going all the way round on the outside (and not using indicators)

You know, I find that that seems to happen on the roundabout at the M61 junction fert' bok more than it does anywhere else.

[Aldridge Pryor]

was walking down the street today enjoying a bag of mini cheddars (crinkles) when this magpie flew above me and shat right in the packet!

[Zulus Thousand of em]

was walking down the street today enjoying a bag of mini cheddars (crinkles) when this magpie flew above me and shat right in the packet!

Hence the old adage "One for sorrow..." If two had flown over they would probably have dropped a diamond brooch into the packet. Probably.

[TANGODANCER]

was walking down the street today enjoying a bag of mini cheddars (crinkles) when this magpie flew above me and shat right in the packet!

If you'd not ignored it and said "Good morning Mr Magpie, how are you?" it wouldn't have happened.

[Raven]

Should have saluted it!

[bobo the clown]

was walking down the street today enjoying a bag of mini cheddars (crinkles) when this magpie flew above me and shat right in the packet!

Hence the old adage "One for sorrow..." If two had flown over they would probably have dropped a diamond brooch into the packet. Probably.

If it'd done it 7 times it would have saved us the bother of hearing about it.



I've now gone into what can only be called "a Susan Stranks moment" !! Oooh .... nurse !

[Zulus Thousand of em]

was walking down the street today enjoying a bag of mini cheddars (crinkles) when this magpie flew above me and shat right in the packet!

Hence the old adage "One for sorrow..." If two had flown over they would probably have dropped a diamond brooch into the packet. Probably.

If it'd done it 7 times it would have saved us the bother of hearing about it.



I've now gone into what can only be called "a Susan Stranks moment" !! Oooh .... nurse !

Would that be the Susan Stranks who is now 71 years old?

(I know what you mean though!)

[Raven]

Thanks Zulu I now feel ancient!