Joke thread

[thebish]

Jack took a firmer grip on the steering wheel as the RV ran up on the stone.
Shouting to Sammy as he pulled the steering wheel, "BETTER NATE THAN LEVER," he ran over the snake.

BOOM BOOM

shouldn't this be in the "novels" therad?

[seanworth]

So I take it this was the abridged version of the joke.

[KeeeeeeeBaaaaaaab]

What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

[General Mannerheim]

i never even read it, it was emailed to me under the subject "longest joke in the world"... shite then?

[ohjimmyjimmy]

i never even read it, it was emailed to me under the subject "longest joke in the world"... shite then?

Only compared to other jokes...

[thebish]

i never even read it, it was emailed to me under the subject "longest joke in the world"... shite then?

i don't think any of us read it! (did we??)

[Hoboh]

i never even read it, it was emailed to me under the subject "longest joke in the world"... shite then?

i don't think any of us read it! (did we??)

Read what?

[seanworth]

i never even read it, it was emailed to me under the subject "longest joke in the world"... shite then?

i don't think any of us read it! (did we??)

Read what?

I read the last paragraph.

[Worthy4England]

i never even read it, it was emailed to me under the subject "longest joke in the world"... shite then?

i don't think any of us read it! (did we??)

Read what?

I read the last paragraph.

I suspect it's marginally more funny to people who pronounce lever as levver (sounding like leather) as opposed to people who pronounce it Lever as in End.

You know who you are.

You should read it all the way through. It'll be funny for you.

[seanworth]

i never even read it, it was emailed to me under the subject "longest joke in the world"... shite then?

i don't think any of us read it! (did we??)

Read what?

I read the last paragraph.

I suspect it's marginally more funny to people who pronounce lever as levver (sounding like leather) as opposed to people who pronounce it Lever as in End.

You know who you are.

You should read it all the way through. It'll be funny for you.

It would help.

[Montreal Wanderer]

What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

The version I hears over forty years ago and better spoken than written was:
A buffalo was a mammal that roamed the great North American plains and a bison is something you wash your fice in in Austrilia

[thebish]

What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

The version I hears over forty years ago and better spoken than written was:
A buffalo was a mammal that roamed the great North American plains and a bison is something you wash your fice in in Austrilia

The version over here really depends on a brummy accent... Like the Kipper Tie anecdote and the Whale in the cut....

[ohjimmyjimmy]

or the elephant with the brummie accent when asked...'did you come here to die?' , 'no, oy came here yesturdieeeeee'

[thebish]

or the elephant with the brummie accent when asked...'did you come here to die?' , 'no, oy came here yesturdieeeeee'

Aynuk builds himself a new pen for his chickens. He asks Ayli to come and have a look at it.

Well yome med a bostin job on it ar kid says Ayli,

Aynuk says ar it ay bad except that the roof leaks.

Ayli notices that Aynuk has put a wire netting roof on the pen,

No wonder it leaks says Ayli yo ay put no slope on it.

[thebish]

or...

Q. What time is it when you have a pie on your clock?

A. Summat to ate.

[jimbo]

Was walking along the canal in Birmingham last weekend and saw a bloke fishing. Asked him how it was going and if he'd had much luck. 'Aye' he said. 'I caught a whale'.
'A whale!? What sort?',
'A bicycle whale'

[thebish]

Was walking along the canal in Birmingham last weekend and saw a bloke fishing. Asked him how it was going and if he'd had much luck. 'Aye' he said. 'I caught a whale'.
'A whale!? What sort?',
'A bicycle whale'

#

timeless classic! (as referenced above)

Aynuk says to Ayli: What yow bin doin

Ayli replies: I bin fishin in the cut

Aynuk says: Did yow catch anythink

Ayli replies: Eye,I caught a whale

Aynuk (astonished): ‘Yow caught a whale in the cut?’ Owd yow knwo it wuz a whale?

Ayli: It ad a rim an two spokes on it.

[thebish]

What do they call "Toys-R-Us in Dudley ?
Answer: "Toys Am We"

[Always hopeful]

Not a west midlands related effort, but keeping in the theme of dialect related stuff....

Q: What's the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

A: One's a marseupial, the other's a geordie stuck in a lift.

[Montreal Wanderer]

What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?

You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

The version I hears over forty years ago and better spoken than written was:
A buffalo was a mammal that roamed the great North American plains and a bison is something you wash your fice in in Austrilia

The version over here really depends on a brummy accent... Like the Kipper Tie anecdote and the Whale in the cut....

Ah, I see. Birmingham, half a million people united by a single speech impediment. Over here, we have Newfoundland...