Joke thread

[PC1978]

Norweigan guy walks into Boots and says to the assistant "Hello, I would like to buy a deodorant."

"Ball or aerosol" she replied

"Neither, it is for my armpit!"

[Montreal Wanderer]

For the old folks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nndS22Qda0" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Where do you keep your pet Werewolf?


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in a warehouse.

[Gary the Enfield]

Norweigan guy walks into Boots and says to the assistant "Hello, I would like to buy a deodorant."

"Ball or aerosol" she replied

"Neither, it is for my armpit!"

Rocking it Old School.

http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j& ... 6858,d.ZG4" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Bruce Rioja]

[TANGODANCER]

Wife crashed the car this morning. When the police arrived she said the guy involved was on his mobile and eating at the same time. The police advised her that the guy was perfectly entitled to do that in his own conservatory.

[bwfcdan94]

question ! is that book for sale

[Annoyed Grunt]

question ! is that book for sale

Answer, yes: http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Tell-Your-P ... 1449410243" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[bwfcdan94]

Temporarily out of stock.

[Annoyed Grunt]

Sorry, I bought the last one....

[bwfcdan94]

Sorry, I bought the last one....

[Bruce Rioja]

Sorry, I bought the last one....

Just hang on, Dan. Grunto's family will be flogging his copy on ebay just as soon as his cat's done for him

[bwfcdan94]

Sorry, I bought the last one....

Just hang on, Dan. Grunto's family will be flogging his copy on ebay just as soon as his cat's done for him

, can you get your cat or another cat you know or hell even my cats to talk to his cat about when exactly the plan is a go

[Annoyed Grunt]

Sorry, I bought the last one....

Just hang on, Dan. Grunto's family will be flogging his copy on ebay just as soon as his cat's done for him

[mrkint]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justin_Lee_Collins" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Check the list of influences bit.

[Bijou Bob]

A group of burglars broke into the off licence round the corner from me last night and stole 3 crates of Red Bull. Honestly, I don't know how some people sleep at night................

[TANGODANCER]

Not really a joke, not really laughing at the girl who knew nothing about football, but it made me laugh:

Question on Pointless was to identify individual players from a large picture of the 1982 England squad. Her answer, "Bobby Dalgleish" .

[ChrisC]

Not really a joke, not really laughing at the girl who knew nothing about football, but it made me laugh:

Question on Pointless was to identify individual players from a large picture of the 1982 England squad. Her answer, "Bobby Dalgleish" .

She should of got the point just for the comedy value.

[jaffka]

Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.

First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows."

Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows."

Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows."

Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.

First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend."

Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument."

They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.

First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish -- let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."

Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull

[mrkint]

Went to the fridge this morning to check on my Tesco burgers...and they're off!