Today I'm angry about.....

[Montreal Wanderer]

Can I ask when and why the word 'action' replaced the word 'do'. As in 'Can you please action that?' 'Oh I'd love to, except it's a noun, so I can't really'

We seem to have corporately caught something called cadence meetings. I was interviewing someone the day before yesterday and asked the bloke if he knew what a cadence meeting was. Had he said yes, he was probably done for.

What is a cadence meeting? You sing important solos towards the end?

It was an new one on me too, Billy, but they seem to be a company that organizes meetings.

[Worthy4England]

Can I ask when and why the word 'action' replaced the word 'do'. As in 'Can you please action that?' 'Oh I'd love to, except it's a noun, so I can't really'

We seem to have corporately caught something called cadence meetings. I was interviewing someone the day before yesterday and asked the bloke if he knew what a cadence meeting was. Had he said yes, he was probably done for.

What is a cadence meeting? You sing important solos towards the end?

It was an new one on me too, Billy, but they seem to be a company that organizes meetings.

Not in our context Monty. Seems to be a meeting just to discuss where we're up to. Corporate bollocks at its very best.

[Montreal Wanderer]

Can I ask when and why the word 'action' replaced the word 'do'. As in 'Can you please action that?' 'Oh I'd love to, except it's a noun, so I can't really'

We seem to have corporately caught something called cadence meetings. I was interviewing someone the day before yesterday and asked the bloke if he knew what a cadence meeting was. Had he said yes, he was probably done for.

What is a cadence meeting? You sing important solos towards the end?

It was an new one on me too, Billy, but they seem to be a company that organizes meetings.

Not in our context Monty. Seems to be a meeting just to discuss where we're up to. Corporate bollocks at its very best.

But...But....But Cadence meetings is a registered trademark - you could get sued for trademark violation,you could end up in bankruptcy court...

Actually I did find the following (though it still made no sense to me)

As a Sales Leader, your responsibilities are many. Ultimately, the buck stops with you. If numbers slide, you’re to blame. That means that you need to develop a system to keep your Sales Organization in line – a routine so as to assure that everyone is marching to the same drum. You are responsible for maintaining your team’s sales cadence.

[Worthy4England]

The two are fairly probably linked as the phrase "understanding the drumbeat we're marching to" seems to be poking its nose out too. I suspect someone's been on a course...

[bobo the clown]

The two are fairly probably linked as the phrase "understanding the drumbeat we're marching to" seems to be poking its nose out too. I suspect someone's been on a course...

I dread people who take this shite and regurgitate it ... it means they think it's impressive ... therefore that it impresses them. As such, they are tits. The trouble is you and I and many others shy away from this in the firm belief that everyone can see it. Regrettably, all too often, they can't.

Work for an American company and these posturing pillocks are the norm.

[TANGODANCER]

Today's drumbeaters are tomorrow's managing directors. Learn to live with it. You need to all have the same hymn sheets, sing the same words and march to the same drumbeats whilst scouting for the territory with the most significant footfall. If in doubt just shake the tree and see what falls out. Action it man, action it.

[Worthy4England]

The two are fairly probably linked as the phrase "understanding the drumbeat we're marching to" seems to be poking its nose out too. I suspect someone's been on a course...

I dread people who take this shite and regurgitate it ... it means they think it's impressive ... therefore that it impresses them. As such, they are tits. The trouble is you and I and many others shy away from this in the firm belief that everyone can see it. Regrettably, all too often, they can't.

Work for an American company and these posturing pillocks are the norm.

Indeed, and I do work for an American company. Problem is, when it starts at COO level, it seems to spread...

[bobo the clown]

Indeed, and I do work for an American company. Problem is, when it starts at COO level, it seems to spread...

Exactly. You really would hope that at that level they were better than that. It does sort of give them away doesn't it !


I did myself no favours when I gawped at a VP who asked me to "do a preso" on a topic and I said that wouldn't be possible but would prepare a presentation if he wished.

He was a tit though.

[mummywhycantieatcrayons]

Today, I've been given a shiny, New, iphone5. Im not special, everyone has been given one, around thirteen of us at 500 quid a pop. I'm not sure why we've got them as we've very little use for them, or the new lap tops, ipads or other stuff, seeing as we have no work plan and. Have had very little to do since April 1st. Last week I took a conservative guess on looking around a half empty office. About 400k in salary doing not much. Welcome to the slimmed down, efficient, New, reorganised, NHS.

I don't follow.

Are you saying there is nothing for them to do and never has been?

[Always hopeful]

Indeed, and I do work for an American company. Problem is, when it starts at COO level, it seems to spread...

Exactly. You really would hope that at that level they were better than that. It does sort of give them away doesn't it !


I did myself no favours when I gawped at a VP who asked me to "do a preso" on a topic and I said that wouldn't be possible but would prepare a presentation if he wished.

He was a tit though.

I also work for an American company. One of the most peculiar things I've heard was when we were being encouraged to look for cost saving ideas in a team meeting. If we found an idea, we were asked to "pick it up, wrap it in cotton wool and drive it to the line". wtf

Sadly, that came from an Englishman, who was presenting in a room full of Englishmen.

[Bijou Bob]

Today, I've been given a shiny, New, iphone5. Im not special, everyone has been given one, around thirteen of us at 500 quid a pop. I'm not sure why we've got them as we've very little use for them, or the new lap tops, ipads or other stuff, seeing as we have no work plan and. Have had very little to do since April 1st. Last week I took a conservative guess on looking around a half empty office. About 400k in salary doing not much. Welcome to the slimmed down, efficient, New, reorganised, NHS.

I don't follow.

Are you saying there is nothing for them to do and never has been?

More or less, yes. Its picking up slowly. Very slowly. Thankfully, it looks like it'll be a comfortable few months as they've just ordered my new office chair. If I told you how much they've Spunked on it, you'd be as appalled as I am. Meanwhile, still no idea from the top just what we are supposed to be doing.

[bobo the clown]

More or less, yes. Its picking up slowly. Very slowly. Thankfully, it looks like it'll be a comfortable few months as they've just ordered my new office chair. If I told you how much they've Spunked on it, you'd be as appalled as I am. Meanwhile, still no idea from the top just what we are supposed to be doing.

always take care when complaining that you don't do much at work ... the obvious outcome can be quite negative, personally.

[Bijou Bob]

Granted Bobo, which is why I'm whinging like a bitch on here whilst smiling at work and looking like I'm absolutely pulled out. I do have some principles, but they don't extend to shooting myself in the foot.

[Montreal Wanderer]

Indeed, and I do work for an American company. Problem is, when it starts at COO level, it seems to spread...

Exactly. You really would hope that at that level they were better than that. It does sort of give them away doesn't it !


I did myself no favours when I gawped at a VP who asked me to "do a preso" on a topic and I said that wouldn't be possible but would prepare a presentation if he wished.

He was a tit though.

I also work for an American company. One of the most peculiar things I've heard was when we were being encouraged to look for cost saving ideas in a team meeting. If we found an idea, we were asked to "pick it up, wrap it in cotton wool and drive it to the line". wtf

Sadly, that came from an Englishman, who was presenting in a room full of Englishmen.

I could be wrong, AW, but I suspect most Americans would be confused by what at best appears to be a mixed metaphor and at worst incomprehensible.

[Always hopeful]

Indeed, and I do work for an American company. Problem is, when it starts at COO level, it seems to spread...

Exactly. You really would hope that at that level they were better than that. It does sort of give them away doesn't it !


I did myself no favours when I gawped at a VP who asked me to "do a preso" on a topic and I said that wouldn't be possible but would prepare a presentation if he wished.

He was a tit though.

I also work for an American company. One of the most peculiar things I've heard was when we were being encouraged to look for cost saving ideas in a team meeting. If we found an idea, we were asked to "pick it up, wrap it in cotton wool and drive it to the line". wtf

Sadly, that came from an Englishman, who was presenting in a room full of Englishmen.

I could be wrong, AW, but I suspect most Americans would be confused by what at best appears to be a mixed metaphor and at worst incomprehensible.

Agreed.

When this bloke's presenting, it always makes for an interesting game of buzzword bingo.

[Montreal Wanderer]

Indeed, and I do work for an American company. Problem is, when it starts at COO level, it seems to spread...

Exactly. You really would hope that at that level they were better than that. It does sort of give them away doesn't it !


I did myself no favours when I gawped at a VP who asked me to "do a preso" on a topic and I said that wouldn't be possible but would prepare a presentation if he wished.

He was a tit though.

I also work for an American company. One of the most peculiar things I've heard was when we were being encouraged to look for cost saving ideas in a team meeting. If we found an idea, we were asked to "pick it up, wrap it in cotton wool and drive it to the line". wtf

Sadly, that came from an Englishman, who was presenting in a room full of Englishmen.

I could be wrong, AW, but I suspect most Americans would be confused by what at best appears to be a mixed metaphor and at worst incomprehensible.

Agreed.

When this bloke's presenting, it always makes for an interesting game of buzzword bingo.

My father, who has been dead these forty years and more, had something called a buzz word generator. It, predating the microchip, was purely mechanical. It essentially had three columns of words (these would have to be updated for today) which could be presented in any random order. Give it a spin and it would generate a buzz word phrase that could be dropped into any conversation. I can still recall the phrase "parallel - third generation - time phases' - completely meaningless but guaranteed to impress. I guess today's managers have a pocket electronic version.

Edit: Out of curiosity I just googled 'buzz word generator' and they do exist. There is a web version at http://www.robietherobot.com/buzzword.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; and they mention corporate buzz word bingo.

[Burnden Paddock]

In a meeting last week and was told that, 'We need to consume our own smoke'. Wtf?

[Worthy4England]

In a meeting last week and was told that, 'We need to consume our own smoke'. Wtf?

I suspect in similar vein, we were told "we had to eat our own dog-food"

[bobo the clown]

In a meeting last week and was told that, 'We need to consume our own smoke'. Wtf?

I suspect in similar vein, we were told "we had to eat our own dog-food"

Budget time again I guess.

[Montreal Wanderer]

In a meeting last week and was told that, 'We need to consume our own smoke'. Wtf?

I suspect in similar vein, we were told "we had to eat our own dog-food"

I was curious about the smoke quotation and discovered it is quite old and attributed to one of my University's famous medical men and benefactors.

"Learn to accept in silence the minor aggravations, cultivate the gift of taciturnity and consume your own smoke with an extra draught of hard work, so that those about you may not be annoyed with the dust and soot of your complaints." Sir William Osler

Makes a little more sense in the fuller context - stop whining and start working I guess is the message.