Joke thread

[Little Green Man]

"A group of 15 year old boys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at the McDonald's next to Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because they only had six dollars among them, they could ride their bikes there and Jennie Webster, that cute girl in Social Studies, lives on the same street and they might see her.

Ten years later, the group of now 25 year old guys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the beer was cheap, the bar had free snacks, the house band was good, there was no cover charge and there were a lot of cute girls.

Ten years later, at 35 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was decided they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the booze was good, it was near their gym and, if they went late enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.

Ten years later, at 45, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the martinis were big and the waitresses wore tight pants.

Ten years later, now 55, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the prices were reasonable, they have a nice wine list and fish is good for your cholesterol.

Ten years later, at 65 years of age, the once again group discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the lighting was good and they have an early bird special.

Ten years later, at 75 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the food was not too spicy and the restaurant was handicapped accessible.

Ten years later, at 85 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because they had never been there before."

Is this the same lot from page 50 that also used to meet up at Gausthof zum Lowen?

[Annoyed Grunt]

You're as bad as The Bish......

[Little Green Man]

You're as bad as The Bish......

Oh look, there's a joke that I recall has been posted on here before - probably one of a small number I can claim to remember. What's more I think I know who posted it previously. And he's one of the more senior members of the forum. Perhaps he might be mildly tickled to find that he's double posted a joke that's about growing old and reaching senility. But wait, what if somebody outs me as thebish mk II...

[Annoyed Grunt]

You're as bad as The Bish......

Oh look, there's a joke that I recall has been posted on here before - probably one of a small number I can claim to remember. What's more I think I know who posted it previously. And he's one of the more senior members of the forum. Perhaps he might be mildly tickled to find that he's double posted a joke that's about growing old and reaching senility. But wait, what if somebody outs me as thebish mk II...

[bobo the clown]

Russian Dolls.


So full of themselves.

[Montreal Wanderer]

You're as bad as The Bish......

Oh look, there's a joke that I recall has been posted on here before - probably one of a small number I can claim to remember. What's more I think I know who posted it previously. And he's one of the more senior members of the forum. Perhaps he might be mildly tickled to find that he's double posted a joke that's about growing old and reaching senility. But wait, what if somebody outs me as thebish mk II...

Oh the irony.

However, LGM, if you think Captain Jack's Seafood Grille has any resemblance to Gausthof zum Lowen you are sadly mistake. Quite a different joke gastronomically speaking....

[Enoch]

Checking in to a hotel last night, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."

Unbelievable what some folk are into!

[Annoyed Grunt]

Checking in to a hotel last night, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."

Unbelievable what some folk are into!

[thebish]

cheering myself a wee bit with a slice of Emo Philips...

· A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..."

[Bruce Rioja]

cheering myself a wee bit with a slice of Emo Philips...

· A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon ..."

So, not funny at all then?!

[thebish]

if you say so...

[LeverEnd]

Things are bad at home at the moment. Wife says she's sick of me - football, horses, rugby...
So last night I thought I'd make an effort and booked a table for 8pm.
By 9 things were 10 times worse though, she hadn't even potted a fecking red!

[Dujon]

A girl snake had been pestered by a boy snake seeking a date for ages.
One day she looked him in the eye saying, "You will now go to sleep. You will hear only my voice. When you wake up you will find that I am madly in love with you," She paused and then added,
"You will awaken when I snap my fingers."

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Minnie Mouse is talking to her lawyer...
Lawyer says "You can't divorce Mickey just because you think he's ugly!"
Minnie says "I didn't say he's ugly, I said he's f*cking goofy"

[Bruce Rioja]

if you say so...

Just couldn't be doing with his style and delivery, Bish. I could never get beyond it. Hey ho. Unto each their own and whatnot.

[Worthy4England]

if you say so...

Just couldn't be doing with his style and delivery, Bish. I could never get beyond it. Hey ho. Unto each their own and whatnot.

I'm with you on this one Brucie. There's just something that makes you want to hit him with a fecking baseball bat and shout "get fecking on with it", as he's "delivering" his lines...

[Enoch]

My missus has had enough of my over-bearing, sneaky, manipulative ways.

At least that's what her diary says.

[jaffka]

A three legged dog walks into a bar and says " I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."

[Always hopeful]

Experts tell us that the best way to make a perfect cup of tea is to agitate the bag.

So every morning, I shout, “Two sugars, fat Arse !"

[thebish]

today I invented a brand new word!!

Plagiarism.