Joke thread

Always hopeful · Post by **Always hopeful** » Wed Mar 12, 2014 9:07 pm

jaffka wrote:
Annoyed Grunt wrote:
Always hopeful wrote:
jaffka wrote:Have you heard about the constipated mathematician?

He had to work it his logs out with a pencil.
Fixed that for you.

...but then again, that probably doesn't make sense now to anyone under 45.
It didn't need fixing
We now know that he belongs in the pedants corner.

OK. Perhaps I used the wrong choice of phrase. You're right. It didn't need 'fixing' as such.

On reflection, I clearly needed to say "I've attempted to try and enhance what some might consider to be a reasonably funny joke, by removing the word 'it' and replacing it with what I believe were the original words in this joke, i.e. 'his logs'. This is a play on words that perhaps anyone under 45 might not get, as they no longer use 'logarithmic tables' or 'logs' in secondary school maths."

bobo the clown · Post by **bobo the clown** » Wed Mar 12, 2014 10:09 pm

^^^

LeverEnd · Post by **LeverEnd** » Wed Mar 12, 2014 11:30 pm

Lost at poker against a Thalidomide sufferer last night. Fcuk me, he kept his cards close to his chest!

Lost Leopard Spot · Post by **Lost Leopard Spot** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 8:54 am

(this one works best verbally... but here goes anyway).

Do you know this missing 'plane, well apparently they've found one wing.
But, when interviewed she said that she had no idea what happened to the other passengers.

Enoch · Post by **Enoch** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 8:52 pm

All these years I thought Mrs Enoch liked sex in the kitchen.

Turns out we don't own an egg timer!

Annoyed Grunt · Post by **Annoyed Grunt** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 8:59 pm

Enoch wrote:All these years I thought Mrs Enoch liked sex in the kitchen.

Turns out we don't own an egg timer!

Bet they're still too runny

Enoch · Post by **Enoch** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:48 pm

Annoyed Grunt wrote:
Enoch wrote:All these years I thought Mrs Enoch liked sex in the kitchen.

Turns out we don't own an egg timer!
Bet they're still too runny

Dujon · Post by **Dujon** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 12:29 am

[Spotty] Racist, bastard!

Lost Leopard Spot · Post by **Lost Leopard Spot** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 8:41 am

Dujon wrote:[Spotty] Racist, bastard!

Andy Waller · Post by **Andy Waller** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 8:48 am

Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Dujon wrote:[Spotty] Racist, bastard!

See, I don't find that joke racist.

Lost Leopard Spot · Post by **Lost Leopard Spot** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 9:52 am

Andy Waller wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Dujon wrote:[Spotty] Racist, bastard!

See, I don't find that joke racist.

Yea, cheers Andy. I too fail to find why it can be thought of as racist

Tasteless, probably, racist, on yer bike.

Andy Waller · Post by **Andy Waller** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 10:39 am

Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Andy Waller wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Dujon wrote:[Spotty] Racist, bastard!

See, I don't find that joke racist.
Yea, cheers Andy. I too fail to find why it can be thought of as racist Tasteless, probably, racist, on yer bike.

It's the same principle as "I bought a book on How To Keep Your Dog Quiet by Nora Bone.."

Lost Leopard Spot · Post by **Lost Leopard Spot** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 10:41 am

Andy Waller wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Andy Waller wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Dujon wrote:[Spotty] Racist, bastard!

See, I don't find that joke racist.
Yea, cheers Andy. I too fail to find why it can be thought of as racist Tasteless, probably, racist, on yer bike.
It's the same principle as "I bought a book on How To Keep Your Dog Quiet by Nora Bone.."

doggist!

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 2:17 pm

Andy Waller wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Andy Waller wrote:
Lost Leopard Spot wrote:
Dujon wrote:[Spotty] Racist, bastard!

See, I don't find that joke racist.
Yea, cheers Andy. I too fail to find why it can be thought of as racist Tasteless, probably, racist, on yer bike.
It's the same principle as "I bought a book on How To Keep Your Dog Quiet by Nora Bone.."

Back in my day it was "Baby's Revenge" by Norah Titzoff, along with a bunch of others I recall.

Dujon · Post by **Dujon** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 11:56 pm

*sighs*
Nor do I, chaps. *makes note to insert some inappropriate 'smiley' next time*

Lost Leopard Spot · Post by **Lost Leopard Spot** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:10 am

Dujon wrote:*sighs*
Nor do I, chaps. *makes note to insert some inappropriate 'smiley' next time*

InappropriatesmileysRus

bobo the clown · Post by **bobo the clown** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 11:35 am

They've managed to work out the motive for the Pistorius shooting.

Oscar wanted a new bathroom door, but Reeva was dead against it !!

LeverEnd · Post by **LeverEnd** » Thu Mar 20, 2014 4:49 pm

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/m ... ound-world

The best jokes from young people around the world allegedly. Hmmmmnn. I do like the French egg one though.

Beefheart · Post by **Beefheart** » Thu Mar 20, 2014 5:01 pm

LeverEnd wrote:http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/m ... ound-world

The best jokes from young people around the world allegedly. Hmmmmnn. I do like the French egg one though.

'What do pandas eat?
Bread!'

Amazing

Gary the Enfield · Post by **Gary the Enfield** » Thu Mar 20, 2014 5:08 pm

LeverEnd wrote:http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/m ... ound-world

The best jokes from young people around the world allegedly. Hmmmmnn. I do like the French egg one though.

When you said 'Young People' I assumed you meant 8 to 12 year olds. I'm not convinced they weren't.

Strangely I chuckled at the Whales in the bar joke, the French Egg and the Estonian single by choice.

I'm off for a lie down.

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