Today I'm angry about.....

[Gary the Enfield]

Been sent to Ipswich to work on a public sector audit this week (despite me telling my resource co-ordinator last year I wouldn't ever do one again), I genuinely do think this is a coincidence and isn't be being shafted for handing in my notice, but when I got here I found that the council don't have a reception, they have an 'InfoBar' so I think that has pushed me over the edge.

Oohh, me, me next.

Firstly, what the flying f*ck is a resource co-ordinator?

His boss.

[Beefheart]

Been sent to Ipswich to work on a public sector audit this week (despite me telling my resource co-ordinator last year I wouldn't ever do one again), I genuinely do think this is a coincidence and isn't be being shafted for handing in my notice, but when I got here I found that the council don't have a reception, they have an 'InfoBar' so I think that has pushed me over the edge.

Oohh, me, me next.

Firstly, what the flying f*ck is a resource co-ordinator?

His boss.

They co-ordinate resources, obviously.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Not so fast, the mascara snake, in what way does someone coordinate resources, and are you a resource, and if so does s/he coordinate you a nice top?

[Gary the Enfield]

In business terms we are a resource. Or an asset. Or a liability.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

In business terms we are a resource. Or an asset. Or a liability.

I know where I lie on that spectrum...

[Prufrock]

In business terms we are a resource. Or an asset. Or a liability.

That's the fecking problem!

[thebish]

In business terms we are a resource. Or an asset. Or a liability.

That's the fecking problem!

the problem is describing the workings of businesses in business terms??

[Beefheart]

Not so fast, the mascara snake, in what way does someone coordinate resources, and are you a resource, and if so does s/he coordinate you a nice top?

Erm, Captain Beefheart isn't The Mascara Snake. It was a nickname given to a band member who played the clarinet (which Van Vliet decided looked like a mascara snake)on Trout Mask Replica. Sorry, I've just been reading a biography on him. It's really quite good.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Not so fast, the mascara snake, in what way does someone coordinate resources, and are you a resource, and if so does s/he coordinate you a nice top?

Erm, Captain Beefheart isn't The Mascara Snake. It was a nickname given to a band member who played the clarinet (which Van Vliet decided looked like a mascara snake)on Trout Mask Replica. Sorry, I've just been reading a biography on him. It's really quite good.

I know, I met him... but every time I think 'not so fast' I'm afraid the continuation '...the mascara snake' just leaps into my brain; usually followed by 'fast and bulbous'. Quite often, to the chagrin of my wife and the consternation of strangers I actually voice these unbidden phrases followed in a very twisted pronunciation " boulbous also..." but you know what follows of course.

[Prufrock]

In business terms we are a resource. Or an asset. Or a liability.

That's the fecking problem!

the problem is describing the workings of businesses in business terms??

Yes, 'business terms' isn't a thing! Or it shouldn't be. I wonder how people used to describe such nebulous concepts as 'having a meeting' or 'organising people'.

No-one would defend 'the human resource used the the heat-transference unit to energise the medium solution to optimise the benefit when introduced to the taste-delivery agent' as being acceptable for 'Kev is brewing up' because he's describing it in kettle terms.

[thebish]

In business terms we are a resource. Or an asset. Or a liability.

That's the fecking problem!

the problem is describing the workings of businesses in business terms??

Yes, 'business terms' isn't a thing! Or it shouldn't be. I wonder how people used to describe such nebulous concepts as 'having a meeting' or 'organising people'.

No-one would defend 'the human resource used the the heat-transference unit to energise the medium solution to optimise the benefit when introduced to the taste-delivery agent' as being acceptable for 'Kev is brewing up' because he's describing it in kettle terms.

of course "business terms" is a thing! just like legal or religious jargon are things. do you employ legal jargon - or talk like a plain-speaking yorkshireman in your legal dealings?

[Beefheart]

Not so fast, the mascara snake, in what way does someone coordinate resources, and are you a resource, and if so does s/he coordinate you a nice top?

Erm, Captain Beefheart isn't The Mascara Snake. It was a nickname given to a band member who played the clarinet (which Van Vliet decided looked like a mascara snake)on Trout Mask Replica. Sorry, I've just been reading a biography on him. It's really quite good.

I know, I met him... but every time I think 'not so fast' I'm afraid the continuation '...the mascara snake' just leaps into my brain; usually followed by 'fast and bulbous'. Quite often, to the chagrin of my wife and the consternation of strangers I actually voice these unbidden phrases followed in a very twisted pronunciation " boulbous also..." but you know what follows of course.

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast 'n' bulbous!

[Lost Leopard Spot]

There is that... I was thinking the "That's right, the mascara snake*, fast and bulbous, also a tin [pause] teardrop".
* He told me that the mascara snake must never be capitalised. I believe this injunction to be unique to myself, the great man having made it up on the spot probably, but I stick to it just in case he actually was god.

[Prufrock]

In business terms we are a resource. Or an asset. Or a liability.

That's the fecking problem!

the problem is describing the workings of businesses in business terms??

Yes, 'business terms' isn't a thing! Or it shouldn't be. I wonder how people used to describe such nebulous concepts as 'having a meeting' or 'organising people'.

No-one would defend 'the human resource used the the heat-transference unit to energise the medium solution to optimise the benefit when introduced to the taste-delivery agent' as being acceptable for 'Kev is brewing up' because he's describing it in kettle terms.

of course "business terms" is a thing! just like legal or religious jargon are things. do you employ legal jargon - or talk like a plain-speaking yorkshireman in your legal dealings?

When I say it's not a thing I don't mean it literally doesn't exist, or I couldn't get worked up about it.

There's a difference between specific technical language, and the sort of bullshit metaphor I'm talking about.

If somebody in the business world talks about resources, assets, or liabilities, I've no problem with that when they are talking about resources such as money, or assets and liabilities in relation to a balance sheet. That's what those words are for, and there aren't ready-made everyman terms they can be swapped for. That's just specific language for quite specific things.

Equally, in law, if someone talks about the 'Doctrine of Promissory Estoppel', there isn't a way of talking about that without explaining it in several paragraphs. It's just a specific phrase. If someone didn't understand it, you'd explain it, but assuming everybody in the conversation knows what you're on about, it's fine.

My problem is language deliberately meant to hide or distort what's being spoken about. You gain nothing from wanky metaphors like calling 'people' or 'employees' 'resources'. Plus when you add it all together to get a sentence like 'I manage human resources to optimise inter-departmental productivity' it means people have to take a minute to figure out that in fact you're in charge of productivity for a particular department. About half of all people I meet answer the question 'so what do you do?' (always the sign of a flagging conversation) with something I simply do not understand. Mostly they respond to the blank look on my face with, 'Basically..' and then they tell me what they actually do. Why can't we skip the first bit?

A good legal example is the phasing out of the Latin phrases such as the ironically named 'res ipsa loquitor' (the thing speaks for itself). I think that's a good thing if there is a simple everyday way of saying it!

I think I could sum up my argument by saying that sometimes uncommon words make things clearer, and sometimes they make them less clear. I'm for the former, and against the latter!

[thebish]

i didn't say it was good - merely that it IS a "thing"!

also - are you claiming that you only use legal jargon where no ordinary equivalent word-in-use-by-the-average-bloke exists?

if so - pants on fire!

[Lost Leopard Spot]

^ I'm with him (Pru). Let's fun the future!

[Lost Leopard Spot]

also, a Tin


teardrop.

[Prufrock]

i didn't say it was good - merely that it IS a "thing"!

also - are you claiming that you only use legal jargon where no ordinary equivalent word-in-use-by-the-average-bloke exists?

if so - pants on fire!

I'm not saying I definitely always only do, but I try to only do. I mean I'll use the word 'manslaugther' rather than 'less bad killy-willing' but...

You'd be a shit lawyer if your client had no idea what you were talking about.

[LeverEnd]

Alan Brazil, stupid smug gormless tw@t. Didn't want to put it in the RIP thread, but his comments on Robin Williams are pathetic.
I disagree with those who have called for his sacking however. All the above make him ideal for Talksport.
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/08 ... 70941.html

[Prufrock]

Two things today:

Firstly, another one to list to the travesties at the hands of the Catholic Church. Read today that it used to be dogma that the dying should not be given medication to ease the pain of dying as this pain was 'God's gift' to the dying that they could feel the pain of Jesus on the cross and so smooth their passage to repentance and heaven. Oh do f*ck off.

Secondly, the voyeuristic nature of the reporting of Robin Williams' death. Front pages promising to describe inside the agony of his final days or suggesting possible reasons for his depression such as the '£12m divorces' (spot the subtle subtext). Nasty nasty nasty.