If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
Moderator: Zulus Thousand of em
- Worthy4England
- Immortal
- Posts: 34731
- Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 6:45 pm
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
We're scared of the Trades Description Act and the word "striker". We can't afford the fine.
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
Worthy4England wrote:We're scared of the Trades Description Act and the word "striker". We can't afford the fine.

the official site describes him as: "the powerhouse centre-forward"
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
thebish wrote:Dr Hotdog wrote:It was partly said in jest. Madine isn't working. Someone else might? Woolery, Thomas?twilight wrote:Why would we want to recall Wilkinson? genuine question because whenever I saw him he was as bad as madineDr Hotdog wrote:Could we recall Wilkinson from his loan...![]()
![]()
![]()
Tom Eaves - he's a striker and he's ours - we own him - where is he???
Last I heard he was recovering from hip surgery, the cause of which was 'really hampering his progress'.
It'll be his year in 2019.
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
It's alright being facetious about it, but if we can only sign one player, who would you sign? For 5-10k a week we're not going to get someone who can single-handedly solve all our problems going forward (Didier Drogba circa 2009).Dave Sutton's barnet wrote:There you go again, spoiling the party. Nolan GUARANTEES goals; might as well call him Kevin Goalan. Doesn't matter where or whether he fits into the team, he drips goals just by walking onto the pitch. Bollocks to shape and tactics, just get him in there, anywhere.boltonboris wrote:But the question is, would he get those goals, without a decent striker to play off? Without players who struggle to get the ball into the box consistently?BWFC_Insane wrote:This. The who would Nolan replace question is silly. We're not scoring goals. Nolan would and should replace any of the useless fecks who can't hit a barn door.....I'd take a player capable of double figures over any single one of the ones we currently are playing because I don't see any of them reaching double figures. In many cases they could play for two seasons and still not hit 10 goals.Spartan2 wrote:Firstly, my issue is with people criticising Nolan, which given where we are and some of the players we have, is a joke. In fact since he left i doubt we've signed any midfielder of comparable quality. (Holden yes but no because of injuries) Secondly I was under the impression NL said we could get one maybe two more players, if that's not the case then I would prefer a quality striker but I just doubt we'll get one. As for where he would play, it's obviously in place of Clough -who has been dreadful this season. Nolan could get 15 goals in a season which is what you'd expect from good striker anyway.
I highly doubt it
All we have to do now is persuade him to play for a twelfth of his last wage.
I think the semi-realistic shouts I've heard so far are Nolan, Wilson, Maynard and Vaz Te. None are close to perfect. Vaz Te is probably out of our reach and, according to Marc Iles, not Lennon's type. Maynard can't stay fit. Wilson has never played consistent first team football and would be taken away the second he started to score goals for us.
Given we're stuck with Pratley, who has shown at times to be able to contribute goals from midfield, I'd prefer a striker. But given the options available, I don't think taking Nolan instead is a ridiculous idea (at least in terms of where he could fit in and what he could offer, I don't know what he's prepared to accept wages-wise at this stage). He's scored goals at every club and at every level he's ever played and made a living bringing the best out of big centre forwards.
Madine looks bereft of confidence already, but there is something there to work with. He showed enough against Derby to suggest he can be effective in this league. With Nolan behind him that could turn into a decent partnership, not to mention the fact that Nobby is a leader and somebody who our lads could learn a lot from.
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
will Nolly accept 5-10k a week? I'd be surprised... maybe I will be! 

- Little Green Man
- Icon
- Posts: 4471
- Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2006 9:34 pm
- Location: Justin Edinburgh
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
Nolan and WHU agreed to terminate his contract a year early. I assume that involved a large pay off so, for this season at least, I doubt he'll be on his uppers.thebish wrote:will Nolly accept 5-10k a week? I'd be surprised... maybe I will be!
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
appen as mebbes not... but not being on thewir uppers doesn't usually stop a premiership footballer turning down a derisory £10,000per week offer!Little Green Man wrote:Nolan and WHU agreed to terminate his contract a year early. I assume that involved a large pay off so, for this season at least, I doubt he'll be on his uppers.thebish wrote:will Nolly accept 5-10k a week? I'd be surprised... maybe I will be!

what I don't really know is how much actual sentimental loyalty Nolly still has for Bolton...
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
Aye, but as always I guess it depends what anyone else is offering.Little Green Man wrote:Nolan and WHU agreed to terminate his contract a year early. I assume that involved a large pay off so, for this season at least, I doubt he'll be on his uppers.thebish wrote:will Nolly accept 5-10k a week? I'd be surprised... maybe I will be!
Hopefully he hates this that London and wants to move back home. Throw in a coaching role and we might have a deal. *He says with absolutely no basis*.
In a world that has decided
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
-
- Legend
- Posts: 6343
- Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 12:45 pm
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
he'd probably already be at home training with Tranmere or summat if that were the case, or us even...?Prufrock wrote:Aye, but as always I guess it depends what anyone else is offering.Little Green Man wrote:Nolan and WHU agreed to terminate his contract a year early. I assume that involved a large pay off so, for this season at least, I doubt he'll be on his uppers.thebish wrote:will Nolly accept 5-10k a week? I'd be surprised... maybe I will be!
Hopefully he hates this that London and wants to move back home. Throw in a coaching role and we might have a deal. *He says with absolutely no basis*.
- Dave Sutton's barnet
- Immortal
- Posts: 31629
- Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:00 pm
- Location: Hanging on in quiet desperation
- Contact:
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
Cheers for the permission; I'll crack on, then. Apparently, facetious is one of only two words in the English language with all five vowels in alphabetical order.Tombwfc wrote:It's alright being facetious about it
Not an ageing midfielder.Tombwfc wrote:if we can only sign one player, who would you sign?
...Nolan?Tombwfc wrote:For 5-10k a week we're not going to get
No. But we might consider a striker. There's plenty about; just because we haven't been linked with them yet doesn't mean they don't exist. As Premier squads settle down, there'll be those on the periphery – and I would hate to miss out on them because we've made somebody a cake.Tombwfc wrote:For 5-10k a week we're not going to get someone who can single-handedly solve all our problems going forward (Didier Drogba circa 2009).
Evidently I do, as I'm ridiculing it. In some ways, the idea has merit. He has his qualities, like standing in front of the goalkeeper and arguing with referees. If we had a 15kpw budget and he'd settle for 5kpw, it might be beneficial.Tombwfc wrote:I don't think taking Nolan instead is a ridiculous idea
Except the level of advancing years. Since turning 31 in summer 2013 he's played 74 games and scored 8 goals. That's not one in three, it's one in nine. At that rate, to score "15" he'd have to play 135 games. (And before anybody says he'd be facing more limited opponents, I might point out he'd be playing with similarly limited team-mates: we are, lest we forget, 17th in the second division with one win since Easter.)Tombwfc wrote:He's scored goals at every club and at every level he's ever played
I think it might be a bit of a push to say that he's "brought the best" out of big centre-forwards. I suspect the causal relationship there: he might have benefited from playing behind effective ones, but what exactly about him is it that turns big centre-forwards into world-beaters? Or is that due to other factors, and he is the beneficiary rather than benefactor? Because if there's any chance at all that that's the case – and I'd say we'd all be hard-pushed to prove it isn't - then there remains a good chance we'll be spending our last money on an old, low-scoring, non-passing, non-tackling, never-particularly-fast, non-forward who wouldn't even improve our hitherto worryingly ineffective striker.Tombwfc wrote:He's scored goals at every club and at every level he's ever played and made a living bringing the best out of big centre forwards. Madine looks bereft of confidence already, but there is something there to work with. He showed enough against Derby to suggest he can be effective in this league. With Nolan behind him that could turn into a decent partnership
Just my opinion, like. I'm not here to win a popular vote or change people's minds.
- Lost Leopard Spot
- Immortal
- Posts: 18436
- Joined: Wed May 09, 2012 11:14 am
- Location: In the long grass, hunting for a watering hole.
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
Dave Sutton's barnet wrote:Cheers for the permission; I'll crack on, then. Apparently, facetious is one of only two words in the English language with all five vowels in alphabetical order.Tombwfc wrote:It's alright being facetious about it
.

Hmmm: Feeling a little abstemious, I decided to devour my caesious muffin pie but when I went get it I discovered a facetious note from my wife in its place.
That's not a leopard!
頑張ってください
頑張ってください
- Dave Sutton's barnet
- Immortal
- Posts: 31629
- Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:00 pm
- Location: Hanging on in quiet desperation
- Contact:
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
If you were feeling abstemious, why did you decide to devour the whole pie? (Caesious is a fascinating suggestion, but I'd be tempted to say that as a botanical term from the Latin, it might be a ligatured ae...Lost Leopard Spot wrote:Dave Sutton's barnet wrote:Cheers for the permission; I'll crack on, then. Apparently, facetious is one of only two words in the English language with all five vowels in alphabetical order.Tombwfc wrote:It's alright being facetious about it
.![]()
Hmmm: Feeling a little abstemious, I decided to devour my caesious muffin pie but when I went get it I discovered a facetious note from my wife in its place.

Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
also - who (in their right mind) would consider devouring a whole muffin pie that they obswerved had waxy bluish-grey coating?
- Lost Leopard Spot
- Immortal
- Posts: 18436
- Joined: Wed May 09, 2012 11:14 am
- Location: In the long grass, hunting for a watering hole.
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
I never, ever, claimed to be in my right mind.thebish wrote:also - who (in their right mind) would consider devouring a whole muffin pie that they obswerved had waxy bluish-grey coating?
(I'm still trying to work out why a ligatured botanical Latin term doesn't count. Snot fair).
That's not a leopard!
頑張ってください
頑張ってください
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
Why not get Nolan in and while we're about it Kevin Davies is at a loose end.
We could probably get the pair for two bob.
We could probably get the pair for two bob.
- Lost Leopard Spot
- Immortal
- Posts: 18436
- Joined: Wed May 09, 2012 11:14 am
- Location: In the long grass, hunting for a watering hole.
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
Two Bob, thruppence ha'penny each at max. (Don't start on about Super, f'r'chri'sake)Enoch wrote:Why not get Nolan in and while we're about it Kevin Davies is at a loose end.
We could probably get the pair for two bob.
That's not a leopard!
頑張ってください
頑張ってください
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
fixed that for you!Enoch wrote:Why not get Nolan in and while we're about it Kevin Davies is at a loose end.
We could probably get the pair for two bob taylors.
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
Andy Carroll's record starting games alongside Kevin Nolan is a goal every 2.3 games. Outside of the games he's started with Nolan, he averages a goal every 4.3 games. I don't have time to do the same for SKD, but I would guess his stats playing alongside Nolan stack up quite well compared to when he didn't.DSB wrote:I think it might be a bit of a push to say that he's "brought the best" out of big centre-forwards. I suspect the causal relationship there: he might have benefited from playing behind effective ones, but what exactly about him is it that turns big centre-forwards into world-beaters? Or is that due to other factors, and he is the beneficiary rather than benefactor? Because if there's any chance at all that that's the case – and I'd say we'd all be hard-pushed to prove it isn't - then there remains a good chance we'll be spending our last money on an old, low-scoring, non-passing, non-tackling, never-particularly-fast, non-forward who wouldn't even improve our hitherto worryingly ineffective striker.
But again, I didn't say Nolan was the ideal signing. In fact I said the opposite. I also never said he'd score 15 goals. I think he would improve us and compared to the other options he wouldn't be the worst to bring in. If at any point you'd like to tell me who a few of the 'plenty' good strikers we could get instead are, I'll happily reconsider.
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
Tombwfc wrote:
Andy Carroll's record starting games alongside Kevin Nolan is a goal every 2.3 games.
aye - but due to being injured in 36 out of every 5 games, Carrol has only played 2.3 games for west ham, surely?

- Dave Sutton's barnet
- Immortal
- Posts: 31629
- Joined: Sun May 14, 2006 4:00 pm
- Location: Hanging on in quiet desperation
- Contact:
Re: If carlsberg did transfer threads.....This would be it!
While you're on the abacus, out of interest, what's Carroll's scoring rate with and without Allardyce as manager? Or, perhaps an easier one: of Carroll's goals, how many have come from Nolan assists? As someone once said, everyone that confuses correlation with causation ends up dead eventually.Tombwfc wrote:Andy Carroll's record starting games alongside Kevin Nolan is a goal every 2.3 games. Outside of the games he's started with Nolan, he averages a goal every 4.3 games.
Yep, I'd say the times when we were qualifying for Europe under Allardyce were probably more fruitful than the ones we were in the bottom half and a lower division. Is that because Nolan made KD a better player, or are there larger forces at work?Tombwfc wrote:I don't have time to do the same for SKD, but I would guess his stats playing alongside Nolan stack up quite well compared to when he didn't.
Did you really say it was the opposite of ideal?Tombwfc wrote:But again, I didn't say Nolan was the ideal signing. In fact I said the opposite.
No, that's a fair point - someone else did that, and nobody argued. That worried me.Tombwfc wrote:I also never said he'd score 15 goals.
See, this isn't exactly Socratic dialogue we're having here, but that doesn't sound like saying the opposite of him being the ideal signing.Tombwfc wrote:I think he would improve us and compared to the other options he wouldn't be the worst to bring in.
And if you'd read the line before that, you'd see I mention - in the future tense - that the squads will be settling down. "As Premier squads settle down, there'll be those on the periphery – and I would hate to miss out on them because we've made somebody a cake." I don't yet know which forwards will be unwanted, so to suggest ideas now would be an entirely hypothetical listing of squad players who may or may not be available, may or may not affordable and may or may not want to come: how many TW readers had heard of Wellington two months ago?Tombwfc wrote:I think he would improve us and compared to the other options he wouldn't be the worst to bring in. If at any point you'd like to tell me who a few of the 'plenty' good strikers we could get instead are, I'll happily reconsider.
But then...
Dave Sutton's barnet wrote:I'm not here to win a popular vote or change people's minds.
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot], The_Gun and 37 guests