Lenny the Sleeping Lion.

[coffeymagic]

Football thrives on cliche. For years yer Alan Hansens of this world and yer Alan Shearers of this world and yer Boy Lineacres of this wold and yer Steve Claridges of this world assured us that Moysey was doing a 'fantastic job' at Everton.

Subsequent events have proved that a) He quite clearly wasn't and b) He quite clearly is a nice person. If you didn't already suspect either.

We've got a good cliche here too. Lennie Lawrence. If you asked yer Chappers of this world or yer Alan Greens of this world you'd be told that he's one of 'football's great thinkers' and that 'his knowledge of the game is second to none - he's vital to Dougie Freedman', a 'great sounding board' and a 'good ear'.

What any of that actually means is open to interpretation but to me for someone who has spent a lifetime in football he seems pretty bereft when it comes to ideas of how to change a game.

If after all these years the best advice he can offer up is 'everyone forward for the last 10 eh?' then I have to call his credentials in to question.

During his time at Springfield Park Bryan Hamilton was known as 'Butty Maker' as that's all the players saw him as fit for. I get the impression that Lenny is picking up a nice little pay packet for doing nothing more than 'Two meat and potato, two cheese and onion, a sausage roll and bag of chips please.'

My question is. What the feck is he there for?

Why is Dougie there?

Why are any of us here?

Answers, physical, metaphorical or theological on a postcard.

[Puskas]

He puts the cones out.

He might also put the bins out.

He probably does loads of other good stuff, too, that we don't know about.

He's a good lad. Leave him alone.

[SmokinFrazier]

When Freedman first came in, didn't he say something along the lines of Lawrence being the tactician and him being the coach? I'm sure I remember something like that, which might indicate why we play in such a basic, outdated manner.

[boltonboris]

I honestly don't know what Lawrence does.. I don't even know what Dougie does..

I know that Fleming is good at high fiving the defenders after that little 'line' drill in the warm up.. But as for the rest of them? Not a scooby

[Bruce Rioja]

When Freedman first came in, didn't he say something along the lines of Lawrence being the tactician and him being the coach? I'm sure I remember something like that, which might indicate why we play in such a basic, outdated manner.

I'll tell you summat he did say - he said that the players didn't know how to see a game out and that "We're here to help them with that". In the last three games we've conceded 8 points from winning positions. How's that going then, Douglas?

[EverSoYouri]

As I recall, Lenny the Lion was a ventriloquist's dummy - i.e. needed somebody's arm shoved up him to make him work.

*hands Freedman a vet's disposable arm-glove and stands well back.