General Chit Chat
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Re: General Chit Chat
He said that she was a cxnt..simple past.Lost Leopard Spot wrote:Prise the tense out of this - Nicky Morgan is a cxnt
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Re: General Chit Chat
I don't even know what a "determiner" is in question 1. I'm not even sure we had them back in the day....Worthy4England wrote:^^ Lolz.
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
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Re: General Chit Chat
Woke up, crawled out of bed, then blew my nose: half my fxcking head dropped out onto the snotrag. I've managed to identify those dangly bits at the back of one's throat; two of what I assume are adenoids; most of the cartilage that keeps me two nostrils separate; a pineal gland and bits of a cerebellum; all happily swimming in at least half a pint of green snot and a quart of stringy blood.
I rang that NHS thingy and they've told me to get to my doctor. I've rung the surgery and they've made an appointment for next Tuesday... I'll have run out of stuff in my head to blow out my nose by then, and how do remember an appointment when you've got no brains left...
I rang that NHS thingy and they've told me to get to my doctor. I've rung the surgery and they've made an appointment for next Tuesday... I'll have run out of stuff in my head to blow out my nose by then, and how do remember an appointment when you've got no brains left...
That's not a leopard!
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- Lost Leopard Spot
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Re: General Chit Chat
^ It's Official - I've got a cold. Oh yeah, and a newly diagnosed history of esoteric nosebleeds.
I blagged my way into the surgery with a minor bit of special pleading to see the doc. His face was a picture when I presented him with the evidence of this morning's eruption, I've never seen a more reluctant examination of material in my life...
But eventually he concluded it was just snot and old clotted blood, that I must have had a series of small nosebleeds that I'd not noticed in my sleep. (I didn't really think there was any 'organs' in there I just didn't know what it was). He reckoned the compacted mass was dislodged by the cold I've got and the hard nose blowing that resulted. He was pretty impressed with the volume though, he didn't know how anybody could fit that amount up your nose and still breathe.
Anyway, back off to bed for a week. I'm treating it as proper man-flu.
I blagged my way into the surgery with a minor bit of special pleading to see the doc. His face was a picture when I presented him with the evidence of this morning's eruption, I've never seen a more reluctant examination of material in my life...

Anyway, back off to bed for a week. I'm treating it as proper man-flu.
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- Worthy4England
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Re: General Chit Chat
You have some way to go, to better this chap...Lost Leopard Spot wrote:Anyway, back off to bed for a week. I'm treating it as proper man-flu.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-35557725" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Re: General Chit Chat
I always thought I was middle class, but today, one of my colleagues had a phone call from her mother, who gave her a bollocking for having no fresh dill in the house to go with the kid's fish for tea. Now THAT'S middle class.
Last edited by Bijou Bob on Sat Feb 13, 2016 10:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: General Chit Chat
I bet they have white soup at weekends....Bijou Bob wrote:I always thought I was middle class, but today, one of my colleagues had a phone call from her mother, who gave her a blocking for having no fresh dill in the house to go with the kid's fish for tea. Now THAT'S middle class.

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Re: General Chit Chat
Kind of apropos of Bijou's comment about his background, I was always brought up to believe I was working class, and sure enough three quarters of my heritage is through solid working class lives, with on the female branches going back having jobs such as seamstress, scullery maid, housemaids, etc. and on the male branches jobs in coal mining, stone cutting, quarrymen, gas worker, general labourer, and professional footballer with narry a farmer let alone a yeoman or merchant in sight.
But on my mother's mother's side, a full quarter of my heritage stretches back through equal measures of peasants, Romany gypsies, aristocracy and through them royalty.
The gypsy branch can trace back their ancestry through a diaspora starting in 14th century Samarkand, down through the Khanate of Khiva, Ottoman Chersonesos, Egypt, the Maghreb, eighteenth century Spain, to Britain.
The grandmother of my grandmother married a Spanish peon, about as far removed from the wandering gypsy life as is possible to get with his family having toiled on the same plots of land for time immemorial. Their daughter married a scion of the Wood family which features in Debretts, an English Catholic family who descend in part from Elizabeth of Bohemia. Again about as far removed from a half caste gypsy/peon as chalk from cheese.
But on my mother's mother's side, a full quarter of my heritage stretches back through equal measures of peasants, Romany gypsies, aristocracy and through them royalty.
The gypsy branch can trace back their ancestry through a diaspora starting in 14th century Samarkand, down through the Khanate of Khiva, Ottoman Chersonesos, Egypt, the Maghreb, eighteenth century Spain, to Britain.
The grandmother of my grandmother married a Spanish peon, about as far removed from the wandering gypsy life as is possible to get with his family having toiled on the same plots of land for time immemorial. Their daughter married a scion of the Wood family which features in Debretts, an English Catholic family who descend in part from Elizabeth of Bohemia. Again about as far removed from a half caste gypsy/peon as chalk from cheese.
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Re: General Chit Chat
Yes.Bijou Bob wrote:So, in short Spots, you're a pikey.
I'm also Ginger.
But, as Pru pointed out, only Gingers can call other Gingers Ginger, and only Pikeys can call other Pikeys Pikey.
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Re: General Chit Chat
I'm glad I don't call people a cnut then!Lost Leopard Spot wrote:Yes.Bijou Bob wrote:So, in short Spots, you're a pikey.
I'm also Ginger.
But, as Pru pointed out, only Gingers can call other Gingers Ginger, and only Pikeys can call other Pikeys Pikey.

Re: General Chit Chat
Bijou Bob wrote:So, in short Spots, you're a pikey.

Re: General Chit Chat
Regard Dunlop Warwick golf balls:
Was I surprised his name is Duncan Mackie?Some bloke on some other board wrote:still got some in the bottom of the practice bag with Penfold Aces, Dunlop 65's and a few other such balls!
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Re: General Chit Chat
whoooooooshEnoch wrote:Regard Dunlop Warwick golf balls:Was I surprised his name is Duncan Mackie?Some bloke on some other board wrote:still got some in the bottom of the practice bag with Penfold Aces, Dunlop 65's and a few other such balls!
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Re: General Chit Chat
Me too, Spotty. I know Dunlop Warwick golf balls are antiques and would not be used today (spheroid technology having advanced in the last 80 years). I think James Bond used a Penfold in Goldfinger and I used Dunlop 65s 40 years ago. What this has to do with Duncan Mackie I have no idea. Google tells me he seems a reasonably talented amateur who plays at Hever Castle club in Kent. He helped them win an award from the local Wildlife Trust by building a bird house in a tree. Enoch also appears to be from Kent - however, the connection of these facts eludes me.Lost Leopard Spot wrote:whoooooooshEnoch wrote:Regard Dunlop Warwick golf balls:Was I surprised his name is Duncan Mackie?Some bloke on some other board wrote:still got some in the bottom of the practice bag with Penfold Aces, Dunlop 65's and a few other such balls!
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
Re: General Chit Chat
Bond:.......... “You play a Slazenger 1, don’t you?”
Goldfinger:. “Yes, why?”
I have no idea who Duncan Mackie is, I could hazzard a guess at where his ancestors hail from. Tight bastard.
Goldfinger:. “Yes, why?”
I have no idea who Duncan Mackie is, I could hazzard a guess at where his ancestors hail from. Tight bastard.
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Re: General Chit Chat
I see. I think. Scotsism...Enoch wrote:Bond:.......... “You play a Slazenger 1, don’t you?”
Goldfinger:. “Yes, why?”
I have no idea who Duncan Mackie is, I could hazzard a guess at where his ancestors hail from. Tight bastard.

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Re: General Chit Chat
We're a barrel of antiPCism.
We just need Bruce and his Asian colleague for a full house.
We just need Bruce and his Asian colleague for a full house.
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Re: General Chit Chat
Just to say I've been in't th'ospital for a bit. But after arriving home, Jeremy Hunt is still a cnut..........
Re: General Chit Chat
I hope you are wellIl Pirate wrote:Just to say I've been in't th'ospital for a bit. But after arriving home, Jeremy Hunt is still a cnut..........
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