creeeeeeeekeeeeeet

[Prufrock]

Haha f*ck off you cheating bastard!

Looked v ropey for a while. Now much more 50/50

[TANGODANCER]

It got better.....

[Prufrock]

V tough to call. Think the average winning chase at Lord's they said was 288.

50/50. Need Vince to not be a dickhead getting out for a nice 25. Nervous though!

[TANGODANCER]

286 needed and some steady nerves.....? Come on Joe Root, you're the man.....

[Prufrock]

Given the movement off the pitch we were getting, if I were a bookie I wouldn't be offering odds on Vince nicking off.

[Prufrock]

Jesus wept. That moved a lot too.

Gulp.

[jimbo]

Fought back really well in the field. Up against it now though with the early wicket.

[Prufrock]

Joseph. Deary me. Dead as dead gets.

[TANGODANCER]

Just came back. Suddenly feel sick.

[Prufrock]

Choke choke choke.

[Prufrock]

This is hideous. Jonny Bairstow hang your head in shame.

[jimbo]

Got a feeling we’re at a key moment in the tournament for England. Buttler and Stokes rebuilding a bit, but no room for error until we’re past 200. Lose this, and I doubt we’ll beat both NZ and India, so won’t be in the semi finals, and the first half of the defining summer for English cricket will be a bit of an anti climax.

[Prufrock]

Yep. Surely done now. Not enough staying power left.

Didn't bowl well enough early on. Some truly woeful dismissals.

Hard to see us going through now, unless enough of the other teams beat each other and one win is enough (though not sure I'd back us to get that).

Yep, damp squib. Hope Jimmy and Broad and well rested!

[TANGODANCER]

Hssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss....opens steam valve on top of head and....sssssssssssssssss

[Prufrock]

Stokes and Woakes and Rashid can hold their heads up. Rest were varying degrees of woeful.

Australians v good. Christ Starc is good (controversial, me).

[Prufrock]

Let's hope it rains against India and we can beat NZ!

[jmjhb]

To be honest if you can't beat a piss poor Pakistan or Sri Lanka team there's no chance against the Aussies.

Players must have believed their own hype. And thus, a crushing defeat for our flat track bullies.

[jimbo]

To be honest if you can't beat a piss poor Pakistan or Sri Lanka team there's no chance against the Aussies.

Players must have believed their own hype. And thus, a crushing defeat for our flat track bullies.

The hype was justified. We’ve won series after series home and away, and are rightly ranked number 1 in the world. Our batting over the last 2 years has taken the game to the next level.

Other countries have raised their game for this tournament, while we’ve been below par. Could be lots of reasons for this but for me our success has been built on good starts at the top of the order, from Roy, Bairstow and Hales as a back up. We lost Hales pre tournament due to his own feck*. I hate Vince as an international player. He’s flaky as anything and at the moment is just giving the opposition an early boost and putting the rest of the side under pressure when they come in. The fielding has also been way below standards, possibly nerves?

[Prufrock]

Yep. They've fecked the bowling selection too. Too many strike bowlers who are hit and miss. Pluncket so hard done by. And if you're picking Wood and Archer they need to open and Woakes needs to be tight in the middle overs.

But yeah, Vince is a waste of a spot. Got done by a good ball today but a) shouldn't be playing around that at 0-0, and b) he's past the point where he gets the benefit of the doubt. We either needed Hales in for Roy, or for Hales to be Roy's "physio".

Morgan and Bairstow's dismissals today were pathetic.

They're capable of winning the next two but something needs to click

Also, just bat first. Literally no matter what.

[jimbo]

Last chance today for them to fulfil our bold pre tournament predictions. Can’t believe how we’ve fallen flat on our arses here. If we lose today I’d put it above previous World Cup disappointments given the expectation going into the tournament. Can’t imgine how disappointed the players will be. Also the administrators banking on a positive home World Cup and Ashes summer to revive flagging popularity and participation.

I’ve just checked the stats and we’ve only lost one of the last seventeen bilateral series. Why have we waited until now to feck it up!