The Greatest EVER.................Chat up lines.

Bruce Rioja · Post by **Bruce Rioja** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 9:50 am

A sure-fire winner for all hopeless romantics is to wait until the object of one's desire is exiting the ladies powder room, thus providing an excellent opportunity to put forth the opening enqiry: "Been for a shit, Love?".

spraggy · Post by **spraggy** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 9:54 am

Let's play Carnival - you sit on my face and I'll guess your weight.

Idiot Wind · Post by **Idiot Wind** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 12:32 pm

Any chance of plums in?

Upon rejection, keep trying with diminishingly attractive females - will eventually work!

Or, if truly interested in a fit bird, just talk to her - most blokes are too intimidated or come out with some sh1t chat-up line!!!

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 12:44 pm

do you like the taste of chicken?

well suck on my cock, it's fowl.

Idiot Wind · Post by **Idiot Wind** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 12:48 pm

Once used on a 'rotund' girl....

"Do you know you've got an arse like a peach....?"

"A football peach!"

mikegarbz6 · Post by **mikegarbz6** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 12:59 pm

I may not be fred flintstone but i'll make your bedrock

bobo the clown · Post by **bobo the clown** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 1:38 pm

hisroyalgingerness wrote:these are terrible. can anyone put one forward that has worked in the past?

All's I can think is "I think you should come to mine, and not go home" pretty simple but worked

Having been at Uni in Leeds at the time of the Yorkshire Ripper, the line " ... look, I can't let you walk home alone ... " seemed to work. Coz they really can't object to you being caring ... & what woman would REALLY make the poor guy walk all that way home again, afterwards ?

Not advocating mass-murder as an entirely positive experience, of course, but it had its moments.

David Lee's Hair · Post by **David Lee's Hair** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 1:43 pm

Fancy a f*ck?

no

Mind lying down while I have one?

Prufrock · Post by **Prufrock** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 2:16 pm

bobo the clown wrote:
hisroyalgingerness wrote:these are terrible. can anyone put one forward that has worked in the past?

All's I can think is "I think you should come to mine, and not go home" pretty simple but worked
Having been at Uni in Leeds at the time of the Yorkshire Ripper, the line " ... look, I can't let you walk home alone ... " seemed to work. Coz they really can't object to you being caring ... & what woman would REALLY make the poor guy walk all that way home again, afterwards ?

Not advocating mass-murder as an entirely positive experience, of course, but it had its moments.

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 2:25 pm

bobo the clown wrote:
hisroyalgingerness wrote:these are terrible. can anyone put one forward that has worked in the past?

All's I can think is "I think you should come to mine, and not go home" pretty simple but worked
Having been at Uni in Leeds at the time of the Yorkshire Ripper, the line " ... look, I can't let you walk home alone ... " seemed to work. Coz they really can't object to you being caring ... & what woman would REALLY make the poor guy walk all that way home again, afterwards ?

Not advocating mass-murder as an entirely positive experience, of course, but it had its moments.

aye, letting a staranger walk you home, that's sensible with a murderer on the loose! and a weird starnger at that!

take it you don't have a geordie accent then!

bobo the clown · Post by **bobo the clown** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 3:50 pm

communistworkethic wrote:
bobo the clown wrote:
hisroyalgingerness wrote:these are terrible. can anyone put one forward that has worked in the past?

All's I can think is "I think you should come to mine, and not go home" pretty simple but worked
Having been at Uni in Leeds at the time of the Yorkshire Ripper, the line " ... look, I can't let you walk home alone ... " seemed to work. Coz they really can't object to you being caring ... & what woman would REALLY make the poor guy walk all that way home again, afterwards ?

Not advocating mass-murder as an entirely positive experience, of course, but it had its moments.
aye, letting a staranger walk you home, that's sensible with a murderer on the loose! and a weird starnger at that!

take it you don't have a geordie accent then!

Wearside, matey ... Wearside !!

enfieldwhite · Post by **enfieldwhite** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 4:27 pm

bobo the clown wrote:
communistworkethic wrote:
bobo the clown wrote:
hisroyalgingerness wrote:these are terrible. can anyone put one forward that has worked in the past?

All's I can think is "I think you should come to mine, and not go home" pretty simple but worked
Having been at Uni in Leeds at the time of the Yorkshire Ripper, the line " ... look, I can't let you walk home alone ... " seemed to work. Coz they really can't object to you being caring ... & what woman would REALLY make the poor guy walk all that way home again, afterwards ?

Not advocating mass-murder as an entirely positive experience, of course, but it had its moments.
aye, letting a staranger walk you home, that's sensible with a murderer on the loose! and a weird starnger at that!

take it you don't have a geordie accent then!
Wearside, matey ... Wearside !!

No. Neither did he.

Loyal White · Post by **Loyal White** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 1:02 am

Nice ass, what do you feed it? Cock?

enfieldwhite · Post by **enfieldwhite** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 8:01 am

Loyal White wrote:Nice ass, what do you feed it? Cock?

Not that I have any problem withit, I'm just nosy.

Are you gay?

wovlad · Post by **wovlad** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 3:20 pm

communistworkethic wrote:
wovlad wrote:When travelling I found asking

'Which country are you from' followed by ' Ever had an English' works

nah...

have you got any english in you?

No? Would you like some?

Crude, but I might just give it a try.

boltonboris · Post by **boltonboris** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 3:27 pm

Me: Is you Father a Thief?

Her:

'cos he stole the stars and put them in my eyes?

Me: No, I think I raped him in prison

Prufrock · Post by **Prufrock** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 3:35 pm

wovlad wrote:
communistworkethic wrote:
wovlad wrote:When travelling I found asking

'Which country are you from' followed by ' Ever had an English' works

nah...

have you got any english in you?

No? Would you like some?
Crude, but I might just give it a try.

surprisingly effective when said with a cheeky grin to a girl with eight different nationalities when you've finally found one she doesn't, although i had to pretend to be scottish. I have familly i've never seen up there, that counts right?

Bruce Rioja · Post by **Bruce Rioja** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 10:20 pm

boltonboris wrote:Me: Is you Father a Thief?

Her: 'cos he stole the stars and put them in my eyes?

Me: No, I think I raped him in prison

Absolute top-drawer quality!

Loyal White · Post by **Loyal White** » Sat Jun 14, 2008 12:13 am

enfieldwhite wrote:
Loyal White wrote:Nice ass, what do you feed it? Cock?
Not that I have any problem withit, I'm just nosy.

Are you gay?

Nah mate... one in the bum, no harm done.

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:51 am

Loyal White wrote:
enfieldwhite wrote:
Loyal White wrote:Nice ass, what do you feed it? Cock?
Not that I have any problem withit, I'm just nosy.

Are you gay?
Nah mate... one in the bum, no harm done.

aye, rectal prolapse is nowt

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