Greatest ever Hollywood cock-ups trying to remake films....

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 10:19 am

They have little history, so lets steal someone elses...and make it American. What's on the US cock-up list you refuse to watch..Which ones stand out as being typically un-American.

For me:

The Wicker Man - I can't begin to describe how this tat misses the point.
The Italian Job - no Minis - it's always heading downhill from that enlightened decision
Get Carter - Stallone a man who wouldn't fly across the Atlantic a few years ago because he was scared, playing a gritty UK hardman
Anything to do with Robin Hood - when did they guy ever have an American accent?

How could they sooooo miss the point and nuances in these remakes?

I'm particularly waiting to see how Billy Fiske wins the Battle of Britain for us in The Few

ratbert · Post by **ratbert** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 10:22 am

Gus Van Sant remakes Hitchcock's Psycho shot for shot. But why?

And now they'e planning a remake of Poltergeist!

Verbal · Post by **Verbal** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 10:30 am

Worthy4England wrote: Anything to do with Robin Hood - when did they guy ever have an American accent?

Agree, apart from the Mel Brooks comedy 'Men in Tights' - thought that was a larf.

As for Hollywood remakes...well, I can't think of any bad ones as I tend to avoid them, though I have to say when they have their head screwed on they do it well (see The Departed, a remake of Infernal Affairs...though I haven't seen the original Japanese film). And what about the Magnificent Seven, adopted from Japanese flick Seven Samurai?

However, this will make your blood boil...

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/91672/7 ... makes.html

CITIZEN FECKING KANE!?!?!? COLIN FARRELL!!!?!? Welles would (attempt to) turn in his grave...

Little Green Man · Post by **Little Green Man** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 10:54 am

The Ladykillers

Horza · Post by **Horza** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 11:15 am

What are you talking about, the Wicker Man remake is awesome! : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo

Worthy4England · Post by **Worthy4England** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 11:18 am

Horza wrote:What are you talking about, the Wicker Man remake is awesome! : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo

Oh dear.

Bruce Rioja · Post by **Bruce Rioja** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 11:18 am

I'm quite sure that I've never knowingly watched a re-make of anything, and nor do I intend to. So that's that!

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 11:56 am

Bruce Rioja wrote:I'm quite sure that I've never knowingly watched a re-make of anything, and nor do I intend to. So that's that!

I'll join that crew in general terms. The whole purpose of them is band-waggon jumping on already proven-successful films.

I'll make an exception with "Last of the Mohicans" which was great.

Puskas · Post by **Puskas** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 11:58 am

Bruce Rioja wrote:I'm quite sure that I've never knowingly watched a re-make of anything, and nor do I intend to. So that's that!

There are a very few remakes that improve on the original.

John Carpenter's The Thing and Brian De Palma's Scarface spring to mind.

Possibly one or two others. They are exceptions, though.

hisroyalgingerness · Post by **hisroyalgingerness** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:13 pm

Most of the foreign Horror re-makes

Planet of the Apes I enjoyed on the whole, Tim Roth was ace, the apes were ace but Wahlberg was shite

Horza · Post by **Horza** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:15 pm

Worthy4England wrote:
Horza wrote:What are you talking about, the Wicker Man remake is awesome! : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo
Oh dear.

What? It's a great refreshing summer comedy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_mW8mBzmHo

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:23 pm

Planet of the Apes was the best of a bad bunch, most remakes of older classics are just dire.

War of the Worlds was bad...whilst the original film did not bare any resemblence to the book this took it even further away and was appallingly bad

InsaneApache · Post by **InsaneApache** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:40 pm

How bout Pearl Habor?

It's 1941, the Third reich is trampling all over Russia, the Japs have raped Nanking and moved on, the Brits have just saved their island by the skin of their teeth. The Italians got their arses handed to them on a plate by the Greeks and now go for round two with the 8th army. The French, Polish, Hungarians, Czechs, Yugoslavs, Greeks all invaded and occupied.

Then Ben Affleck gets on the 'phone to some bloke when Pearl Habor is bombed and says, "I think world war two just started!"

Horza · Post by **Horza** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:46 pm

... wasn't a remake though.

Got to go on an excursion to see it for mod History and Japanese class - of which movie has feck all. Tora! Tora! Tora! had a principle cast of wood planks and zero budget but it was way motherfucking better.

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:48 pm

Hey, come on guys, but for John Wayne we'd all have been in deep,deep shxt.

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:57 pm

Worthy4England wrote:
Anything to do with Robin Hood - when did they guy ever have an American accent?

How could they sooooo miss the point and nuances in these remakes?

Hang on Worthy - Errol Flynn was born in Australia but grew up in England, Brian Bedford and Cary Elwes are English, while Sean Connery and Patrick Bergin at least British. Don't judge all Robins by Douglas Fairbanks and Kevin Cosner.

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 1:03 pm

Bruce Rioja wrote:I'm quite sure that I've never knowingly watched a re-make of anything, and nor do I intend to. So that's that!

Last night Witness for the Prosecution was on tv, advertized as the 1957 Lawton, Power, Deitrich version which I had not seen since its first release. So I tuned in to find it was actually a remake from a made for tv 1982 version (Ralph Richardson, Donald Pleasance, Deborah Kerr, Beau bridges and Diana Rigg). Tbh, I thought it was very well done.

InsaneApache · Post by **InsaneApache** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 1:13 pm

Horza wrote:... wasn't a remake though.

Got to go on an excursion to see it for mod History and Japanese class - of which movie has feck all. Tora! Tora! Tora! had a principle cast of wood planks and zero budget but it was way motherfucking better.

I should have posted that in the crap films thread, my bad.

Agree on Tora, Tora, Tora though, a first rate film and historically accurate. Something the Yanks aint noted for.

Ok then what about 'I am legend'? Not a patch on the Omega Man, even with 21st centuary GCI.

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 1:16 pm

InsaneApache wrote:
Horza wrote:... wasn't a remake though.

Got to go on an excursion to see it for mod History and Japanese class - of which movie has feck all. Tora! Tora! Tora! had a principle cast of wood planks and zero budget but it was way motherfucking better.
I should have posted that in the crap films thread, my bad.

Agree on Tora, Tora, Tora though, a first rate film and historically accurate. Something the Yanks aint noted for.

Ok then what about 'I am legend'? Not a patch on the Omega Man, even with 21st centuary GCI.

Well, in a sense it was a remake of Thirty Seconds over Tokyo....

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Thu Oct 09, 2008 1:17 pm

Montreal Wanderer wrote:
Worthy4England wrote:
Anything to do with Robin Hood - when did they guy ever have an American accent?

How could they sooooo miss the point and nuances in these remakes?
Hang on Worthy - Errol Flynn was born in Australia but grew up in England, Brian Bedford and Cary Elwes are English, while Sean Connery and Patrick Bergin at least British. Don't judge all Robins by Douglas Fairbanks and Kevin Cosner.

How dare you forget Richard Green, Monty?