Ever been patronised by an idiot?

Prufrock · Post by **Prufrock** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:38 pm

Daxter wrote:
Prufrock wrote:
Lord Kangana wrote:Wheres your proof he was wrong about anything he said?
Cant remember who said it but, 'if dolphins are as intelligent as humans why are we up here driving and surfing the internet and they are swiming about chasing fish' or words to that effect.
Maybe Dolphins were the pre-eminent species at one time, achieved true spiritual contentment and just decided there was nothing left to do on land, so went off to reside in the sea...

So long and thanks for all the fish.

enfieldwhite · Post by **enfieldwhite** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:39 pm

Daxter wrote:
Prufrock wrote:
Lord Kangana wrote:Wheres your proof he was wrong about anything he said?
Cant remember who said it but, 'if dolphins are as intelligent as humans why are we up here driving and surfing the internet and they are swiming about chasing fish' or words to that effect.
Maybe Dolphins were the pre-eminent species at one time, achieved true spiritual contentment and just decided there was nothing left to do on land, so went off to reside in the sea...

Whales are descended from bear-like creatures who went back to the sea. Apparently.

Prufrock · Post by **Prufrock** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:41 pm

enfieldwhite wrote:
Daxter wrote:
Prufrock wrote:
Lord Kangana wrote:Wheres your proof he was wrong about anything he said?
Cant remember who said it but, 'if dolphins are as intelligent as humans why are we up here driving and surfing the internet and they are swiming about chasing fish' or words to that effect.
Maybe Dolphins were the pre-eminent species at one time, achieved true spiritual contentment and just decided there was nothing left to do on land, so went off to reside in the sea...
Whales are descended from bear-like creatures who went back to the sea. Apparently.

But were they clever bears?

Bruce Rioja · Post by **Bruce Rioja** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:45 pm

Prufrock wrote:
enfieldwhite wrote:
Daxter wrote:
Prufrock wrote:
Lord Kangana wrote:Wheres your proof he was wrong about anything he said?
Cant remember who said it but, 'if dolphins are as intelligent as humans why are we up here driving and surfing the internet and they are swiming about chasing fish' or words to that effect.
Maybe Dolphins were the pre-eminent species at one time, achieved true spiritual contentment and just decided there was nothing left to do on land, so went off to reside in the sea...
Whales are descended from bear-like creatures who went back to the sea. Apparently.
But were they clever bears?

Well if Dolphins are so clever, how come they get caught up in Tuna nets, the dozy bastards?

Dave Sutton's barnet · Post by **Dave Sutton's barnet** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 6:25 pm

Daxter wrote:
Prufrock wrote:
Lord Kangana wrote:Wheres your proof he was wrong about anything he said?
Cant remember who said it but, 'if dolphins are as intelligent as humans why are we up here driving and surfing the internet and they are swiming about chasing fish' or words to that effect.
Maybe Dolphins were the pre-eminent species at one time, achieved true spiritual contentment and just decided there was nothing left to do on land, so went off to reside in the sea...

I've heard that dolphins were monkeys that didn't like the land. But I heard it from a dope-addled Manc rag so I wouldn't hold too much store by it.

As for the internet and driving, I'm reminded of the old cat/dog argument (that cats wouldn't plunge into the snow to rescue humans or spend their lives leading around blind people) in that both sides think they win.

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:00 pm

Bruce Rioja wrote:
Prufrock wrote:
enfieldwhite wrote:
Daxter wrote:
Prufrock wrote: Cant remember who said it but, 'if dolphins are as intelligent as humans why are we up here driving and surfing the internet and they are swiming about chasing fish' or words to that effect.
Maybe Dolphins were the pre-eminent species at one time, achieved true spiritual contentment and just decided there was nothing left to do on land, so went off to reside in the sea...
Whales are descended from bear-like creatures who went back to the sea. Apparently.
But were they clever bears?
Well if Dolphins are so clever, how come they get caught up in Tuna nets, the dozy bastards?

because they're not intended for dophins, they're like "don't worry that's for tuna, oh shit" , whereas your tuna is swimming along, goes 'look a Tuna net' and still swims in to it anyway, thick bastards

Prufrock · Post by **Prufrock** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:16 pm

communistworkethic wrote:
Bruce Rioja wrote:
Prufrock wrote:
enfieldwhite wrote:
Daxter wrote: Maybe Dolphins were the pre-eminent species at one time, achieved true spiritual contentment and just decided there was nothing left to do on land, so went off to reside in the sea...
Whales are descended from bear-like creatures who went back to the sea. Apparently.
But were they clever bears?
Well if Dolphins are so clever, how come they get caught up in Tuna nets, the dozy bastards?
because they're not intended for dophins, they're like "don't worry that's for tuna, oh shit" , whereas your tuna is swimming along, goes 'look a Tuna net' and still swims in to it anyway, thick bastards

Theres definately a league table of animal intelligence forming here, and it seems like the tuna fish evolved in Jackburn.

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:18 pm

Prufrock wrote:Theres definately a league table of animal intelligence forming here, and it seems like the tuna fish evolved in Jackburn.

But tuna don't even have any fingers...

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:21 pm

CrazyHorse wrote:
Prufrock wrote:Theres definately a league table of animal intelligence forming here, and it seems like the tuna fish evolved in Jackburn.
But tuna don't even have any fingers...

no that's cod

Prufrock · Post by **Prufrock** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:22 pm

communistworkethic wrote:
CrazyHorse wrote:
Prufrock wrote:Theres definately a league table of animal intelligence forming here, and it seems like the tuna fish evolved in Jackburn.
But tuna don't even have any fingers...
no that's cod

Your's the parka?

Bruce Rioja · Post by **Bruce Rioja** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:04 pm

communistworkethic wrote:
CrazyHorse wrote:
Prufrock wrote:Theres definately a league table of animal intelligence forming here, and it seems like the tuna fish evolved in Jackburn.
But tuna don't even have any fingers...
no that's cod

But I've got Cod fingers in my freezer?!

communistworkethic · Post by **communistworkethic** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:06 pm

egzacklee!!

Prufrock · Post by **Prufrock** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:32 pm

Bruce Rioja wrote:
communistworkethic wrote:
CrazyHorse wrote:
Prufrock wrote:Theres definately a league table of animal intelligence forming here, and it seems like the tuna fish evolved in Jackburn.
But tuna don't even have any fingers...
no that's cod
But I've got Cod fingers in my freezer?!

Cruel bastard, how will they play the banjo now?!

runningonbravado · Post by **runningonbravado** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:51 pm

every fecking day

it's my job to tell people how to fix their internet. and they're fecking clueless.

Prufrock · Post by **Prufrock** » Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:54 pm

runningonbravado wrote:every fecking day

it's my job to tell people how to fix their internet. and they're fecking clueless.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

bobo the clown · Post by **bobo the clown** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:36 am

Prufrock wrote:
runningonbravado wrote:every fecking day

it's my job to tell people how to fix their internet. and they're fecking clueless.
Have you tried turning it off and on again?

However, when it comes to being condescending the techy talking to the non-techy takes some beating.

The inability for our IT people to realise that they speak a language only they appreciate is legendary. An idiot-sheet should be precisely that ... instead they ask questions no-one without inside knowledge could understand ... make you feel a feckin' eejit for not knowing what they're asking & ultimately the innocent bggr can only hear white-noise.

RoB, you, of course, will be way above that, because you appreciate this & so the clueless will be to blame.

Athers · Post by **Athers** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:43 am

Reminds me bobo - I used to work in product management and one of the products was an IT helpdesk which I used to covertly listen into now and again, partially to get greater understanding and partially for some comedy on a Friday.

Advisor: "Can you please tell me what version of windows you have?"
Customer: "errrr, double glazed, is that why my wireless isn't working?"

We even published some of them to get some media attention http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/fu ... e31254.ece

Little Green Man · Post by **Little Green Man** » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:48 am

communistworkethic wrote:
Bruce Rioja wrote:
Prufrock wrote:
enfieldwhite wrote:
Daxter wrote: Maybe Dolphins were the pre-eminent species at one time, achieved true spiritual contentment and just decided there was nothing left to do on land, so went off to reside in the sea...
Whales are descended from bear-like creatures who went back to the sea. Apparently.
But were they clever bears?
Well if Dolphins are so clever, how come they get caught up in Tuna nets, the dozy bastards?
because they're not intended for dophins, they're like "don't worry that's for tuna, oh shit"

Yeh, it's not like they swim in to it on porpoise.

a1 · Post by a1 » Tue Oct 21, 2008 2:04 pm

bobo the clown wrote:However, when it comes to being condescending the techy talking to the non-techy takes some beating.

The inability for our IT people to realise that they speak a language only they appreciate is legendary. An idiot-sheet should be precisely that ... instead they ask questions no-one without inside knowledge could understand ... make you feel a feckin' eejit for not knowing what they're asking & ultimately the innocent bggr can only hear white-noise.

RoB, you, of course, will be way above that, because you appreciate this & so the clueless will be to blame.

hahaha...

you have to dumb down like feck, make it simple for folk that think "internet" is the browser and stuff like that... but sometimes, goddamn....

a similar wi-fi not workin' story-

"you in front of the computer now?"

"yes"

"is it on"

"yes"

"so you see the arrow, and 'desktop' "

"yes"

"you know the clock in bottom right hand corner"

"yes"

"is there an icon of what looks like two TVs and a 'soundwave' on it, click that"

"where?"

"its ok, the icon might not be there, its usually next to the time"

"no its not there"

"its next to the clock, right next to it, 2 TVs"

"no"

"ok, well, click the start button, and go to settings..."

"eh?"

"on the computer's screen, click the.."

"oh! on the computer.."

"yeah, what did you think i meant?"

"when you said clock in the bottom right corner..."

"..you thought i meant a real clock in your house !?"

shit like that takes up most of the time.. fixing problems takes two minutes.

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