Your embarrassing moments...................

jimbo · Post by **jimbo** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:25 pm

Following on (sort of) from the 'Strangest thing's you've ever seen' thread, I started wondering about other TWers embarrassing moments or cocking up when people are around.

Two that come to mind for me were both in cricket matches. The first was a game at Newton-Le-Willows about 4 years ago. After going for a tight single I had to dive in at the striker's end. Somehow as I slid along I managed to leave my bottoms, boxers and thigh pad behind. I lay face down for a second with pants around my knees waiting for the ground to open up. I got up and managed to fumble around dressing myself again amidst howls of laughter with one of our players gleefully snapping away on his camera. I was bowled next ball.

The other was last season in Wigan. Their key player skied our spinner and it was coming pretty much straight down my throat at long on. I was comfortably underneath it when I slipped, to find myself on my back watching the ball plumet towards me. Before I could sort myself out, the ball thudded into my chest before I managed to cling hold of it. I took the catch but at the expense of a broken rib and copious amounts of abuse from team mates.

Anyone else got any sporting cock-ups?

enfieldwhite · Post by **enfieldwhite** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:50 pm

jimbo wrote:Following on (sort of) from the 'Strangest thing's you've ever seen' thread, I started wondering about other TWers embarrassing moments or cocking up when people are around.

Two that come to mind for me were both in cricket matches. The first was a game at Newton-Le-Willows about 4 years ago. After going for a tight single I had to dive in at the striker's end. Somehow as I slid along I managed to leave my bottoms, boxers and thigh pad behind. I lay face down for a second with pants around my knees waiting for the ground to open up. I got up and managed to fumble around dressing myself again amidst howls of laughter with one of our players gleefully snapping away on his camera. I was bowled next ball.

The other was last season in Wigan. Their key player skied our spinner and it was coming pretty much straight down my throat at long on. I was comfortably underneath it when I slipped, to find myself on my back watching the ball plumet towards me. Before I could sort myself out, the ball thudded into my chest before I managed to cling hold of it. I took the catch but at the expense of a broken rib and copious amounts of abuse from team mates.

Anyone else got any sporting cock-ups?

And swallow you?

My one and only game for the school team was as goalkeeper.

I was probably the shortest player in the team (think Bo Hansen) but our keeper called in sick and I was left back (in the changing rooms).

The pitch was frozen, but they decided to carry on (this being the seventies, when when were men) and I played pretty well for the first twenty minutes. Then disaster struck. After gathering the ball at an opponents feet I stood and, feeling cocky, decided to bounce the ball before hoofing it up the field. Unfortunately the ball hit a frozen ridge in the pitch, bounce obliquely and shot past me into the back of the net.

bobo the clown · Post by **bobo the clown** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 4:19 pm

I have plenty of non-sporting type ... but on the sports area one, my own, involves cricket. The other, a team-mates, is football.

Cricket. I was bowling. I ran up & as I was about to let the ball go my right foot caught against by left. I tripped. The ball went skyward as I bit grass ... I turned over, feeling hard done toas the projectile fell earthwards, stopped from actually hitting the ground only by my gonads.

Football. At university, on a large field with about 8 pitches in all, our winger (Danny Shuttleworth who simply HAD to comes from Ashton-u-Lyne with that name) who was pretty fast but a bit head-down, push & run in style, burst past the full back. He ran hell for leather and got to the by-line & pulled a superb cross into the box creating total mayhem for attack & defence alike. Well, it would ... coz he'd left our pitch and was on the next one. His cross meant a second ball came flying into the area.

Finally, not so embarrassing, but very funny, again Footy. Playing for Leeds Uni 2nd XI v Sheffield one of our players got an absolute smack of a body-check. He went down like a sack of shit & didn't move for a few seconds. He was brought round by combination of wet-sponge, a-la Bert Sprosson, and smelling salts. The ref came over and asked our coach if he was OK to continue. "Aye, he's fine" ... but the ref wasn't convinced. Hey ... hey, son ... how many fingers am I holding up ?". The player tried to stand straight, like a drunk trying not to look drunk ... concentrated as he looked at the ref and came out with the never to be forgotten reply " .... Wednesday !!"

ratbert · Post by **ratbert** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 4:30 pm

Athletics for me.

I was representing Withins in an inter-schools match and leading the 200 metres fairly comfortably, albeit wearing shorts more designed for Stanley Matthews than Usain Bolt. Said shorts were to be my downfall as I felt a slapping sensation in my upper thigh. I glanced down to see my meat and two veg flailing in the cold winter air and, completely put off my stride, lost the race. Fortunately no-one witnessed my shame but the sudden loss of speed had to be bullsh***ed out of.

I never ran for the school again...

Verbal · Post by **Verbal** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 4:50 pm

embarrassing and just f*cking stupid.

Last Easter. I was home from uni and was playing for my mates 5 a side team up next to Leverhulme Park. Anyway I was having a nightmare - mistimed tackles, poor passing, even worse shooting...the lot. It came to a head when I was clean through on goal, rattled my trusty left boot behind the ball and...sliced it wide by about 5 yards. As I jogged to slow myself down I got to the sideboards and kicked them in frustration. It was a fair old whack and it hurt a bit, but one of those I imagined would be easy to run off.

Five minutes later I couldn't walk, and hopped off the pitch with my big toe in absolute agony. Still no bother I thought, it'll be ok in the morning. So rather stupidly I got a lift to town to watch the Man U v Bolton game in the Flying Flute. Got to town, went into the bar...where's my wallet? Oh sh*t, I've not left it at the pitc......f*ck. So there I was in town, watching us get beat, in absolute agony whilst being unable to drink the pain away.

Got home, finally took my shoe off...my big toe revealed itself to twice the size of its opposite number and a rather fetching shade of purple also. Somehow this wasn't enough to convince me I needed to go to the hospital, so I went to bed. Everytime I turned my toe caught the duvet and left me screaming in agony. It got to 7am before I couldn't take anymore and caught the bus to the hospital.

When I got there, I was told the extent of the damage - the toe had broke in about five places, the worst part being near the end of the bone where it joins the foot - from there, my toe bone had almost split in two down the middle. Three hours later I was drugged up on painkillers, sporting a rather fetching bandage and trying to master my new crutches whilst under the influence. I was also told I needed surgery that weekend to screw the toe back together. The following Thursday, I had to travel down to Westminster from Bolton for an interview with the House of Commons, trying to negotiate the trains and the (then alien) tube whilst hobbling around like Verbal Kint on crutches. All from kicking a f*cking wooden unit. Even though I have a rather fetching scar, I wouldn't recommmend it. Oh, and my wallet turned up in my mate's car.

mummywhycantieatcrayons · Post by **mummywhycantieatcrayons** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 4:53 pm

ratbert wrote:Athletics for me.

I was representing Withins in an inter-schools match and leading the 200 metres fairly comfortably, albeit wearing shorts more designed for Stanley Matthews than Usain Bolt. Said shorts were to be my downfall as I felt a slapping sensation in my upper thigh. I glanced down to see my meat and two veg flailing in the cold winter air and, completely put off my stride, lost the race. Fortunately no-one witnessed my shame but the sudden loss of speed had to be bullsh***ed out of.

I never ran for the school again...

Now that's just showing off, and the mention of the temperature is an extra flourish!

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 7:04 pm

Well, my recent brush with the California surf might class as water sports. Briefly, a 69 year old body, a 20 year old head, an old injury and an even older fool. " Book him Dano" paddling in the prow and the Hawai Five-O music ringing in my head, big grin, bigger wave, airborn boat, sickening crack. Taken off the beach in a Lifeguard truck, 15 hours of complete agony flying home, a knee like a match ball, ambulance to hospital, a fortnight on crutches and seven weeks off work. Silly p****ck.

I've got a few more, but that must rate high up the scale.

InsaneApache · Post by **InsaneApache** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 9:07 pm

Not a sporting one but definitley a toe curler.

I left school in 1976 and the lad I sat next to was one of my best friends. In 1980 I moved over to Yorkshire to start a job and train the natives. I didn't get back to Radcliffe much for the first year or two but when I'd passed my test and got a car I started going over to visit my mum and look up some old mates. One night I walked into the pub and lo and behold old school chum was sat at a table with his wife. After many hours boozing and catching up we got to talking about school.

Now about the time just before we left, a lass in our class had to leave because she'd got pregnant. I brought it up in a delicate manner that only the enebriated could.

"Hey, do you remember that old slapper who got tubbed and had to leave?" I opined.

Yup you guessed it.....

"That was me". said his wife.

They say that at these times you wish the earth would swallow you up. I can tell you now, that's exactley how you feel.

Harry Genshaw · Post by **Harry Genshaw** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 9:24 pm

Lots of bad non sporting incidents but worst of those was;

Playing Pool in the Lake District. A packed pub and a game of winner stops on. I took on some local bloke who had been beating all comers and managed to beat him. The pub had gone quite quiet as it became obvious that he was at last about to lose. As I sank the black he walked over to me with his hand outstretched. I gave it a good shake and said "Cheers mate" to which he replied "What are you doing? I just wanted my cue back". Everybody else in the pub thought it was funny

officer_dibble · Post by **officer_dibble** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:07 pm

I was a victim of the old uni pitch after a tough winter in spring bobble...title decider, ball bounced up off the turf over my right boot as i was about to smash it home from 6 yards out, game ended 0-0 and we lost the league title

Father Jack Hackett · Post by **Father Jack Hackett** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:19 am

A friend and I went to the WBA playoff away leg, back in the early Allardyce years, and when we equalised we stood on our chairs to celebrate, the chairs snapped, this was caught on TV and went on to be on Soccer AM's 3rd Eye

ratbert · Post by **ratbert** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 8:45 am

mummywhycantieatcrayons wrote:
ratbert wrote:Athletics for me.

I was representing Withins in an inter-schools match and leading the 200 metres fairly comfortably, albeit wearing shorts more designed for Stanley Matthews than Usain Bolt. Said shorts were to be my downfall as I felt a slapping sensation in my upper thigh. I glanced down to see my meat and two veg flailing in the cold winter air and, completely put off my stride, lost the race. Fortunately no-one witnessed my shame but the sudden loss of speed had to be bullsh***ed out of.

I never ran for the school again...
Now that's just showing off, and the mention of the temperature is an extra flourish!

As I said, no-one saw it. I might have been a hit with the girls then!!

wovlad · Post by **wovlad** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 2:16 pm

A trip back to the days of Burnden Park for my most embarrassing moment. Bolton were losing an FA Cup tie to Sunderland when the ball deflected out of play & I lept like a salmon & caught it, much to the amazement of my friends

As I was to far away to chuck it back, I lobbed the ball in the air & pinged it right footed back onto the pitch. Only it did'nt reach the pitch, in fact it travelled about 6 ft forward and 100ft back as it cannoned off one of the safety barriers flew back over my head & bounced down the steps at the Paddock entrance at the corner of the Lever End. Had the doors been open I would have been tempted to nick the ball & scarper but no. I had to run the gaunlett of all Bolton fans in that corner of the ground as i returned the ball. My mates had a field day I can tell you.

KeeeeeeeBaaaaaaab · Post by **KeeeeeeeBaaaaaaab** » Wed Jan 14, 2009 2:51 pm

It was open day at my school, and I was one of the lucky few to have been chosen to spen the day doing the PE displays. It was only the best boys at PE that got to do this, so I was made up with this. We were to do some basic gym circuits - squat thrusts, rope climbs, weights, a few shuttle races, some basketball and badminton. We'd all do every activity at some point. It was one of the best days at school, because I loved PE and I loved sport. Playing it all day was fantastic, and of course I wasn't doing science, which I hated.

It was my turn to do the weights, and I was the one to demonstrate the bench press. So on my back I went, ready to lift some weights. I could hear some sniggering, but thought nothing of it. Then I looked towards a small group of girls that were smirking and pointing in my direction, and thought that I must be impressing them, so made a little extra effort on the weights. It was only afterwards when I was summonsed to the PE teacher that I found out the cause of such merriment.

"Now, you were technically xcellent on that bench press, but you managed to forget one of the untold golden rules about the bench press."

"What's that, Sir?"

"Wear underpants."

Seems that wearing some Dangermouse boxer shorts underneath PE shorts and lying on your back shows the whole school your dumb bells. Cue lots of abuse for a few weeks afterwards.