Today I'm angry about.....

[Bruce Rioja]

My wife's attempt at Spanish whilst in Barcelona is a constant source of amusement in our house. One morning we entered a bakers just off Las Ramblas and she spied a display of almond croissants. The woman came over to serve us to be met with 'Dos two of those, please.'

Fantastic.

In Nerja once our kid was trying to tell the waiter that he'd like some onions on the chicken sandwich that he'd just ordered. Two minutes later his chicken sandwich turns up - completely bereft of onions............ closely followed by a raw onion sandwich!

[Montreal Wanderer]

My wife's attempt at Spanish whilst in Barcelona is a constant source of amusement in our house. One morning we entered a bakers just off Las Ramblas and she spied a display of almond croissants. The woman came over to serve us to be met with 'Dos two of those, please.'

Fantastic.

In Nerja once our kid was trying to tell the waiter that he'd like some onions on the chicken sandwich that he'd just ordered. Two minutes later his chicken sandwich turns up - completely bereft of onions............ closely followed by a raw onion sandwich!

Some forty years ago in Germany in a public toilet my mother thought herren was the opposite of his'un. Turned out she was wrong.

[TANGODANCER]

Surly French bastards.

Thursday last week and I was staying in Nancy overnight. Now then, being as I was in their country I thought it only reasonable to try and communicate in their language. Afterall, we'd only expect the same here.
So, I stride up to the reception desk and announce "Bonne soiree. J'ai une reservation pour une chambre pour une personne pour une nuit, merci" to which the greasy haired tw*t behind the desk lent over and said "Eeetz ok, surr. I speak Engleesh". Wanker.

My wife's attempt at Spanish whilst in Barcelona is a constant source of amusement in our house. One morning we entered a bakers just off Las Ramblas and she spied a display of almond croissants. The woman came over to serve us to be met with 'Dos two of those, please.'

That's on a par with the "Dos eggo's and bacono's" that a bloke once ordered in a Cafe on Nerja's Balcon. I kid you not

[General Mannerheim]

Sidney Smutt: 'how, mistah. Ou est la fecking beach n'that?'

[Bruce Rioja]

That's on a par with the "Dos eggo's and bacono's" that a bloke once ordered in a Cafe on Nerja's Balcon. I kid you not

Love it.

Also in Nerja, my mate's dad was trying to buy a plug for the kitchen sink. His request for "El bungo" strangely didn't lead him to being shown a selection thereof!

[Worthy4England]

That's on a par with the "Dos eggo's and bacono's" that a bloke once ordered in a Cafe on Nerja's Balcon. I kid you not

Love it.

Also in Nerja, my mate's dad was trying to buy a plug for the kitchen sink. His request for "El bungo" strangely didn't lead him to being shown a selection thereof!

[William the White]

I've not been to Nerja for over 20 years - is it really big and built up these days? Was brill in 1983... And again in 87...

[TANGODANCER]

I've not been to Nerja for over 20 years - is it really big and built up these days? Was brill in 1983... And again in 87...

Not been for a fair while. I went for six or seven (seven if remember) consecutive years from 86 onwards. Heard some rumours it's now the habitat of all the English crime absconders. Hope not, but, like everywhere, it'll never be the same as it was back then. El Capistrano hadn't been up long as a complex and you could stay in a really top class hotel for reasonable money. I can honestly say I had some of the very best times of my life in Nerja. I've been to a lot of other places, but it was the best. Bruce has a few nice memories of the place.

[Bruce Rioja]

Bruce has a few nice memories of the place.

Oh absolutely, Tango. not been there since 2000 though - my mate's dad (he of El Bungo fame) decided to buy all the partners out of the villa and take up permanent residence there (and no, he's not a crime overlord - he's avery nice man ).
Having suffered the horror of once finding myself in Benidorm for two weeks I swore never to return to the country again unless I was going to a part of Spain that was, well, Spanish. Nerja was/is that place.
Matey's dad says that the place is more built up now - they've done away with the rule about not building anything over four storeys high (a ridiculous overturning of a masterstroke, for me), but apparently it still beats living up Harwood. Difficult to argue, I suppose!

[William the White]

Bruce has a few nice memories of the place.

Oh absolutely, Tango. not been there since 2000 though - my mate's dad (he of El Bungo fame) decided to buy all the partners out of the villa and take up permanent residence there (and no, he's not a crime overlord - he's avery nice man ).
Having suffered the horror of once finding myself in Benidorm for two weeks I swore never to return to the country again unless I was going to a part of Spain that was, well, Spanish. Nerja was/is that place.
Matey's dad says that the place is more built up now - they've done away with the rule about not building anything over four storeys high (a ridiculous overturning of a masterstroke, for me), but apparently it still beats living up Harwood. Difficult to argue, I suppose!

Very disappointed to hear that - it was indeed what made nerja different - and yes, I'm told Harwood is going downhill since Gary the Red moved in...

[TANGODANCER]

Bruce has a few nice memories of the place.

Oh absolutely, Tango. not been there since 2000 though - my mate's dad (he of El Bungo fame) decided to buy all the partners out of the villa and take up permanent residence there (and no, he's not a crime overlord - he's avery nice man ).
Having suffered the horror of once finding myself in Benidorm for two weeks I swore never to return to the country again unless I was going to a part of Spain that was, well, Spanish. Nerja was/is that place.
Matey's dad says that the place is more built up now - they've done away with the rule about not building anything over four storeys high (a ridiculous overturning of a masterstroke, for me), but apparently it still beats living up Harwood. Difficult to argue, I suppose!

That was apparently the decision of the local mayor, obviously a man of good taste. He's probably moved on now and his successor taken a nice bung from the local version of Barrats. All in the interests of progress of course.

Now you've got me thinking all wistfully of one warm balmy night in Carrihuela, a little spot outide Benlmadena. Sitting in an outside bar with the sea slapping gently on the beach not twenty feet away. Leaning back ice-cold San Miguel in hand, a plate of Chorizzo tapas beside us, smelling the ozone and listening to Spanish rumbas. Gee, I wish I was there right now.

[General Mannerheim]

That's on a par with the "Dos eggo's and bacono's" that a bloke once ordered in a Cafe on Nerja's Balcon. I kid you not

Love it.

Also in Nerja, my mate's dad was trying to buy a plug for the kitchen sink. His request for "El bungo" strangely didn't lead him to being shown a selection thereof!

they have electric kitchen sinks in Spain!? kinell...

[clapton is god]

Switched from Virgin to Sky just last Sunday.

Window cleaner came today, walked under the sat dish and tw*tted it with his ladder. Got to wait in for an engineer all day Sunday now. Again!

This never happened with cable!

[Gary the Enfield]

Switched from Virgin to Sky just last Sunday.

Window cleaner came today, walked under the sat dish and tw*tted it with his ladder. Got to wait in for an engineer all day Sunday now. Again!

This never happened with cable!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Just got Virgin Media. Saw the Bolton v Man U game and will watch the Bolton v Chelsea game on ESPN for nowt!

[superjohnmcginlay]

Switched from Virgin to Sky just last Sunday.

Window cleaner came today, walked under the sat dish and tw*tted it with his ladder. Got to wait in for an engineer all day Sunday now. Again!

This never happened with cable!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Just got Virgin Media. Saw the Bolton v Man U game and will watch the Bolton v Chelsea game on ESPN for nowt!

That's a good thing???

[Gary the Enfield]

Switched from Virgin to Sky just last Sunday.

Window cleaner came today, walked under the sat dish and tw*tted it with his ladder. Got to wait in for an engineer all day Sunday now. Again!

This never happened with cable!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Just got Virgin Media. Saw the Bolton v Man U game and will watch the Bolton v Chelsea game on ESPN for nowt!

That's a good thing???

Well, no. But it's free!!!

[as]

Leave Benidorm alone - nowt wrong with a bit of Blackpool on the med!

Lloret De Mar was much nicer - once you go somewhere with no English about - you realise we're a bunch of drunken thugs

[seanworth]

Ooooh so very very much.

[InsaneApache]

nm

[Dujon]

I cannot speak of Spain but I can of English/U.K. 'back-packers'. No doubt it's a small percentage of yobs, but they do the reputation of the U.K. no good whatsoever. Why on this planet of ours would someone spend a significant amount of money to travel to a place far from home to then simply get drunk, be objectionable and/or complain about anything and everything? I can't, quite honestly, understand the minds of these cretins.

Qualifier: It appears that my fellow residents are no better when they travel overseas. It saddens me to see some of our citizens turning into the loud-mouthed American of yesteryear.