Christening

[Worthy4England]

I've got to say this. You god botherers and your opponents the atheists et al are like a shoal of bloody goldfish! Why do we have to go through all this "There is a God", "No, there isn't!", "Yes, there is!" bollocks every two or three weeks? Don't you remember you had the argument on here already and nobody won?

And yes, I do have to read it. As a mod it's the only way I know to keep you from one anothers' throats.

Poor sad bastard that I am!

Did I mention that my dog shat in front of the telly?

That's because you didn't have it Christened. HA!

[Lord Kangana]

I give up.

Perhaps you should stop wasting time on the internet and clear the dog crap up. Stop putting it off man.

[Puskas]

I've got to say this. You god botherers and your opponents the atheists et al are like a shoal of bloody goldfish! Why do we have to go through all this "There is a God", "No, there isn't!", "Yes, there is!" bollocks every two or three weeks? Don't you remember you had the argument on here already and nobody won?

And yes, I do have to read it. As a mod it's the only way I know to keep you from one anothers' throats.

Poor sad bastard that I am!

Did I mention that my dog shat in front of the telly?

How does it smell?

[Zulus Thousand of em]

I've got to say this. You god botherers and your opponents the atheists et al are like a shoal of bloody goldfish! Why do we have to go through all this "There is a God", "No, there isn't!", "Yes, there is!" bollocks every two or three weeks? Don't you remember you had the argument on here already and nobody won?

And yes, I do have to read it. As a mod it's the only way I know to keep you from one anothers' throats.

Poor sad bastard that I am!

Did I mention that my dog shat in front of the telly?

How does it smell?

Ruff!

[Zulus Thousand of em]

I give up.

Perhaps you should stop wasting time on the internet and clear the dog crap up. Stop putting it off man.

Sorted - even before the bloody milkman arrived!

[TANGODANCER]

I give up.

Perhaps you should stop wasting time on the internet and clear the dog crap up. Stop putting it off man.

Sorted - even before the bloody milkman arrived!

Did you wash your hands after?

[Zulus Thousand of em]

I give up.

Perhaps you should stop wasting time on the internet and clear the dog crap up. Stop putting it off man.

Sorted - even before the bloody milkman arrived!

Did you wash your hands after?

Thoroughly.

[thebish]

sorry to drag this up, but this time it my turn. (i just made the below comment on some other forum) but thought id bring it here...

Been having this dilemma recently, whether to have our baby christened. I’ve always said I wouldn’t do it, why should I, just to conform to what society says we should do? The amount of times ive stood at christenings listening to parents & godparents promise to guide the baby in the ways of the church, believe in Jesus & repent all sins yadda yadda yadda – absoulte bollocks. I flat out don’t believe in any of it, and thus would feel like a complete hypocrite if we had one. (but i would not lose any sleep over it, and ive been a godfather a couple of times and made such promises, you cant say no can you?)

However, I know it would make the grandparents happy, and its nice for the prospective godparents to be asked, the baby would get some nice keepsakes for when she’s older, and it’s also a decent excuse for a get together & lash up.

so my dilemma is; should I stop being such a miserable bastard and just have a christening like everyone else, or do I stick to my moral guns!?

And I don’t want one of these new wave farty civil naming ceremonies or owt like that. It’s a church job or not. Have read about blessings actually, where your basically saying thanks for her safe arrival in the world, without us making any promises on her behalf. If she wants to be baptised when she is older and more able to understand what it’s all about, then fair enough. might look into doing that.

the most frequently requested sprog-service that I offer is what you call a "thanksgiving" service - (though, Puskas rightly asks - if you don't believe - then what does that mean?) - often called a "blessing" (which would prompt the same kind of question) - where I try to offer the parents a public ceremony to mark the arrival of their sprog and celebrate in a significant way. However crap you may think the church is - aside from the occasional secular naming ceremony (still very rare - and a misnomer as the baby is actually named at the registry office) - or the more committed after-birth eating at glastonbury tor - then the wit of man hasn't yet invented anything with much popular appeal.

Having talked with hundreds of parents with the same dilemma - what they usually want is..

1. some public recognition with a suitably meaningful ceremony to signify the arrival of a new life
2. a focal point for a family celebration
3. (surprisingly commonly) a fleeting feeling, having witnessed the miracle of new life and briefly flirted with the idea that this thing that we have done is actually bigger than the both of us - that there is more to life than that which we can see - which often makes the church seem like the right setting - and just as often is a feeling that fades quite fast with disturbed nights and constant streams of poo and sick....

the promise I most often use is one I hope all parents could make - though it is up to them - it is their promise, not mine... "We promise to show (name) a good and true way of life."

Most churches will offer this - and given that they do - then (to put it bluntly) - it is crass and hypocritical to stand up in front of loads of people and make the promises attached to a christening/baptism that you never meant and never intend to keep for the sake of pleasing grandma or (as Puskas points out) to get loads of wee crappy gifties off reluctant friends and relatives.


unless it is mere latent superstition - which is alive and well.... the (frankly ludicrous) idea that unbaptised babies go somewhere called hell.... such a God would be a monster - and not someone to involve in your child's life. (making it some kind of bizarre insurance policy - which is hardly having any courage in your own conviction..)

you touch on another point that you might like to consider. Most churches will only contemplate baptism once in your life - it could be as an infant - when you have no control over it - or as an adult. It is surely more meaningful as an adult - it then becomes a significant dramatic step that you are taking to mark a step in your own faith - and therefore, surely, having more integrity.

My own kids were not baptised (another word for christening) as babies. two out of the three of them chose to be baptised when they were teenagers - which was then their choice and for both of them a very moving occasion.

[William the White]

With my youngest we had a naming ceremony - which was far from 'farty'. We had a short welcome into the world given by her mum. A pledge of support in her life from two 'naming friends'. The singing of two appropriate songs, one by a soloist, another by the entire group. Then reception, wine, food etc. It was hosted by a friend who was a methodist minister and a member of the magic circle, who enjoyed himself with a few tricks and some wise words of the magic of new life. We also had a non-denominational prayer so that believers didn't feel themselves excluded. We really enjoyed it.

Should have done something like this for the others - but I was so militant in my atheism then there was no way I'd countenance it.

[Bruce Rioja]

the most frequently requested sprog-service that I offer is what you call a "thanksgiving" service - (though, Puskas rightly asks - if you don't believe - then what does that mean?) - often called a "blessing"

See, I thought that a blessing is what people had after they'd come home from getting married on the beach at Waikiki, but wanted to keep Aunt Blanche happy. Similar. I suppose.

Feel free to hand the milk out to the sprogs at these affairs now, won't you?! Just so long as you can cover it from the begging bowl.

[TANGODANCER]

the most frequently requested sprog-service that I offer is what you call a "thanksgiving" service - (though, Puskas rightly asks - if you don't believe - then what does that mean?) - often called a "blessing"

See, I thought that a blessing is what people had after they'd come home from getting married on the beach at Waikiki, but wanted to keep Aunt Blanche happy. Similar. I suppose.

Feel free to hand the milk out to the sprogs at these affairs now, won't you?! Just so long as you can cover it from the begging bowl.

It's what people like Katie Price add in between marriage and divorce to keep themselves in the public eye..I think.

[thebish]

the most frequently requested sprog-service that I offer is what you call a "thanksgiving" service - (though, Puskas rightly asks - if you don't believe - then what does that mean?) - often called a "blessing"

See, I thought that a blessing is what people had after they'd come home from getting married on the beach at Waikiki, but wanted to keep Aunt Blanche happy. Similar. I suppose.

Feel free to hand the milk out to the sprogs at these affairs now, won't you?! Just so long as you can cover it from the begging bowl.

It's what people like Katie Price add in between marriage and divorce to keep themselves in the public eye..I think.

no idea what you're talking about, tango...

[TANGODANCER]

the most frequently requested sprog-service that I offer is what you call a "thanksgiving" service - (though, Puskas rightly asks - if you don't believe - then what does that mean?) - often called a "blessing"

See, I thought that a blessing is what people had after they'd come home from getting married on the beach at Waikiki, but wanted to keep Aunt Blanche happy. Similar. I suppose.

Feel free to hand the milk out to the sprogs at these affairs now, won't you?! Just so long as you can cover it from the begging bowl.

It's what people like Katie Price add in between marriage and divorce to keep themselves in the public eye..I think.

no idea what you're talking about, tango...

Nothing new there then.

[General Mannerheim]

With my youngest we had a naming ceremony - which was far from 'farty'. We had a short welcome into the world given by her mum. A pledge of support in her life from two 'naming friends'. The singing of two appropriate songs, one by a soloist, another by the entire group. Then reception, wine, food etc. It was hosted by a friend who was a methodist minister and a member of the magic circle, who enjoyed himself with a few tricks and some wise words of the magic of new life. We also had a non-denominational prayer so that believers didn't feel themselves excluded. We really enjoyed it.

Should have done something like this for the others - but I was so militant in my atheism then there was no way I'd countenance it.

With the greatest greatest respect, what you describe there is the epitome of my definition of farty! It was obviously right for you, but I would hate that kind of thing more than real a christening! (apart form the reception bit ) thats not a dig, just a difference in personalities.

Anyway ive decided im having nowt to do with it. If her mum wants her christened, she can organize it, and I might even turn up but that’s about it. Cased closed as far as im concerned.

[TANGODANCER]

Anyway ive decided im having nowt to do with it. If her mum wants her christened, she can organize it, and I might even turn up but that’s about it. Cased closed as far as im concerned.

Surely there's a computer game somewhere that covers it? You know, with them being so far ahead of everything else.

[William the White]

With my youngest we had a naming ceremony - which was far from 'farty'. We had a short welcome into the world given by her mum. A pledge of support in her life from two 'naming friends'. The singing of two appropriate songs, one by a soloist, another by the entire group. Then reception, wine, food etc. It was hosted by a friend who was a methodist minister and a member of the magic circle, who enjoyed himself with a few tricks and some wise words of the magic of new life. We also had a non-denominational prayer so that believers didn't feel themselves excluded. We really enjoyed it.

Should have done something like this for the others - but I was so militant in my atheism then there was no way I'd countenance it.

With the greatest greatest respect, what you describe there is the epitome of my definition of farty! It was obviously right for you, but I would hate that kind of thing more than real a christening! (apart form the reception bit ) thats not a dig, just a difference in personalities.

Anyway ive decided im having nowt to do with it. If her mum wants her christened, she can organize it, and I might even turn up but that’s about it. Cased closed as far as im concerned.

Whatever bakes your banana, general.

Re the new avatar - do you know the work of the famous Austrian film director, G W Pabst?

Esp with the amazingly beautiful Louise Brooks.

[General Mannerheim]

No, just can't get enough of Blue Velvet lately!

[TANGODANCER]

Went to a Christening today. Catholic Church. "Be there 12-15, start 12-30" the invitation said. Two families (dual Christenings) probably about a hundred people in total.

By one o'clock, no action and the Church was like a circus: Babies howling, kids running around, teenagers looking bored in a way that only teenagers can, groups moving around chatting and people nipping outside for smokes etc etc. Priest finally appeared some forty-something minutes late. Waved at everybody then disappeared to get ready. When he actually got in position his first words were: "Ah, sorry folks, no excuses really. Got watching the Pope on TV and didn't notice the time. How it flies"

My next door neighbour (father of one of the kids being Christened) exclaimed in a loud voice: "Oh, you haven't got Sky Plus then".

Cor, these Catholic priests.