Today I'm angry about.....

[Bruce Rioja]

When we came out of VP the other week, in the player's carpark there was a white Bentley with a matt black bonnet, roof and boot lid. It also had blacked out windows. I thought that that might be Ireland's.

[ohjimmyjimmy]

Virgin Media.

Promised the earth and all I've seen so far is a slowing down of my pc. Bought the wife a note-book laptop then discovered they'd swopped my router for a modem on installation. When I finally managed to contact somebody in India or Thailand or somewhere, it took me ten minutes to convince him that they router was now a modem courtesy of Virgin. "Can't happen sir", he said, " Our records" show that...etc. The modem must have been installed by someone else." So why does it say "Virgin" on the front of it? I say icily.

"I'm going to put you through to customer services" says our erstwhile friend. "You can order a new router from them"
"I sincerely hope that will be free to replace the one I had before your engineer arrived" say I.
" Er, it will be forty pounds sir, I'll just put you over"

Ten minutes of listening to music later I slammed the phone down. First stop tomorrow, the Virgin shop in town.

I spent two hours last thursday night on the phone to these jokers.

Bought a laptop, they sent me a wireless router. Then they put the kiss of death on it by saying it takes minutes to set up and get running.

I set it up fine, but they had given me conflicting login details, so it took two hours of talking to this person, that person, a welsh guy, an indian guy, a woman, i missed my tea, i had decorating to do. The final straw was when the indian guy said he was putting me on hold, then proceeded to hang up on me.

Anyway, i rang back ready to bollock the next person i spoke to, but within 30 seconds he'd diagnosed the problem, fixed it and got me connected.

Question being, why must only 1 in 10 of their advisers actually know what the hell they're doing? The number of times they told me to re-set the router or turn the thing off and on again...pfff

I'm happy with the internet connection now, but god help me if i encounter a problem again.

[ohjimmyjimmy]

When we came out of VP the other week, in the player's carpark there was a white Bentley with a matt black bonnet, roof and boot lid. It also had blacked out windows. I thought that that might be Ireland's.

Sounds like your bog standard chavvy footballer's car to me.

[thebish]

i like technology, but i don't get how people wonder how they ever lived without an 'app' in their mobile phone for finding their car in a car park ?

Only yesterday evening I spent a good five minutes wandering around the car park at Middlebrook.

and still nobody would give you change for a cup of tea... bastards!

[thebish]

When we came out of VP the other week, in the player's carpark there was a white Bentley with a matt black bonnet, roof and boot lid. It also had blacked out windows. I thought that that might be Ireland's.

Sounds like your bog standard chavvy footballer's car to me.

he had the pink one of these last year - that he had resprayed to to the blue version (allegedly) in response to taunts from manU fans.... (who - let's face it - have no business taunting anyone!)

[clapton is god]

Wigan!

That is positively the last time I go to this one-eyed sh*thole of a town!

Last night I was double booked. My staff association meeting was due in Bolton (and free beer was on offer) but my wife wanted to go to an event on Wallgate in Wigan. Much against my better judgement I relented and took her.

A 50 mile round trip in peak period traffic arriving at 7pm to find all the feck*ng car parks shut. I got right up to the barriers of the two town centre car parks I could actually find to discover they were both about to close so had to reverse quite some distance along one-way streets to get away from both. Having then gone right around the town twice we eventually parked and made our way to the venue to find it was b*stard well cancelled!

What is it with Wigan? Every time I go I find myself in the same difficulty. I can never navigate around their traffic system and I get myself in a rage trying to do so.

I swear that is the last time I ever darken their doorstep!

[thebish]

people who habitually and repeatedly say "yeah... no" when they mean - "yes"

[Lord Kangana]

Absolutely bish.

[ohjimmyjimmy]

People who say 'simples' instead of simple, as if to underline a fact, really really do get on my tits.

[thebish]

and another thing...

people who have a go at you - get a bit carried away - make ludicrous allegations - and then when you react angrily to the false and ludicrous claims say...

"ahhh - looks like I hit a nerve"

as if - reacting angrily to a preposterous allegation somehow proves that allegation is in fact true...

[Bruce Rioja]

When we came out of VP the other week, in the player's carpark there was a white Bentley with a matt black bonnet, roof and boot lid. It also had blacked out windows. I thought that that might be Ireland's.

Sounds like your bog standard chavvy footballer's car to me.

Indeed. We seem to have moved on though from Euroway Car Centre supplying Lada Rivas to Brian Smith, Stuart Lee et al.

[Montreal Wanderer]

people who habitually and repeatedly say "yeah... no" when they mean - "yes"

"Yeah....no" means 'yes'? That would have fooled me - I would have assumed they had changed their mind from yes to a final no.

[ohjimmyjimmy]

and we still complain when foreigners don't speak our lingo !

[thebish]

people who habitually and repeatedly say "yeah... no" when they mean - "yes"

"Yeah....no" means 'yes'? That would have fooled me - I would have assumed they had changed their mind from yes to a final no.

it is rampantly common - not least amongst footballers...



interviewer: Wayne, you must have enjoyed seeing that goal go in?

Wayne: Yeah... no - I've hit it and it's gone in, and that's a great feeling.

[ohjimmyjimmy]

people who habitually and repeatedly say "yeah... no" when they mean - "yes"

"Yeah....no" means 'yes'? That would have fooled me - I would have assumed they had changed their mind from yes to a final no.

it is rampantly common - not least amongst footballers...



interviewer: Wayne, you must have enjoyed seeing that goal go in?

Wayne: Yeah... no - I've hit it and it's gone in, and that's a great feeling.

This tense is unique to footballers.

'yeah, i've looked up, i've spotted him off his line, and i've just hit it, and luckily it's gone in'

[thebish]

he's went straight through the defender....

[Montreal Wanderer]

people who habitually and repeatedly say "yeah... no" when they mean - "yes"

"Yeah....no" means 'yes'? That would have fooled me - I would have assumed they had changed their mind from yes to a final no.

it is rampantly common - not least amongst footballers...



interviewer: Wayne, you must have enjoyed seeing that goal go in?

Wayne: Yeah... no - I've hit it and it's gone in, and that's a great feeling.

This tense is unique to footballers.

'yeah, i've looked up, i've spotted him off his line, and i've just hit it, and luckily it's gone in'

Good Lord! I'm not even sure "it's gone in" is a tense or that the rest of it makes any linguistic sense. I shall consult an expert on Old Scouse.

[Gary the Enfield]

We've been here before. ''the boys done brilliant today'' or ''he done fantastic''


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

[thebish]

Monty, I'm not sure there is much wrong with "It's gone in." It has gone in - same tense as "grandma has gone to the shops".

The real menace - tense-wise - with footballers is "It's went in." arghhhhhh!!

[ohjimmyjimmy]

Monty, I'm not sure there is much wrong with "It's gone in." It has gone in - same tense as "grandma has gone to the shops".

The real menace - tense-wise - with footballers is "It's went in." arghhhhhh!!

But it's the present perfect tense. It therefore needs to refer to the present or an ongoing scenario, not the past like those cheeky footballers use it for.

edit: spot the former language student...sorry