Joke thread

[Prufrock]

There could be a whole thread on Weakest Link answers. One person was asked which major party gained its first Parliamentary seat in a general election in the fifties. Tough question (it was the SNP) but this woman guessed UKIP!

[TANGODANCER]

There could be a whole thread on Weakest Link answers. One person was asked which major party gained its first Parliamentary seat in a general election in the fifties. Tough question (it was the SNP) but this woman guessed UKIP!

There was another cracker tonight: One contestant was asked what colour medal a certain athlete had won in some event. Answer...."Blue"

[TANGODANCER]

Another WL classic tonight:

Q: Of which country and western singer was "The Man in Black" the autobiography?

A: Dolly Parton.

[Bruce Rioja]

There could be a whole thread on Weakest Link answers.

I think someone should make that happen.

[Lord Kangana]

Do people watch the Weakest Link?

[thebish]

Do people watch the Weakest Link?

I'm sure some do - but I don't.

[Bruce Rioja]

Hence my suggestion. Some of us would rather.... well, do other things.

[Il Pirate]

One of my WL faves was along the lines of: which town begining with T was home to a group of martyrs? Tottenham!

[Prufrock]

Do people watch the Weakest Link?

I tend to watch the last ten fifteen minutes or so after tea and before the news. S'allright.

[Lord Kangana]

You'll burn in hell for that.

Just so you know.

[thebish]

SEX AT 65! I just had a leaflet through my door, it Informs me that I can have good sex at 65!

I'm sooooo happy, because I live at number 54.....So it's not far to walk home afterwards!

[Il Pirate]

SEX AT 65! I just had a leaflet through my door, it Informs me that I can have good sex at 65!

I'm sooooo happy, because I live at number 54.....So it's not far to walk home afterwards!

you now owe the Bob Monkhouse estate £164.00...............................

[thebish]

There could be a whole thread on Weakest Link answers. One person was asked which major party gained its first Parliamentary seat in a general election in the fifties. Tough question (it was the SNP) but this woman guessed UKIP!

[Prufrock]

That is brilliant!

[Montreal Wanderer]

That is brilliant!

I saw that answer live (because I did watch a few episodes some years back ). It was from the American version, though it did have that Robinson woman as the quizmistress. I think the show was dropped from American networks but I could be wrong.

[TANGODANCER]

That is brilliant!

I saw that answer live (because I did watch a few episodes some years back ). It was from the American version, though it did have that Robinson woman as the quizmistress. I think the show was dropped from American networks but I could be wrong.

Think that pic's from"Who wants to be a millionaire?" Monty.

[Il Pirate]

I've just choked on my toast! Feckin' priceless.............

[Lofthouse Lower]

I went into the pet shop today. I said "Im looking to buy a goldfish?" The fella said "Do you want an aquarium?"
I said "I don't care what f**king star sign it is"

“A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'”

Janet Street-Porter goes to a bar and asks the barman "Can I get a large aperitif?"
Barman says "I dont think thats possible"

[Montreal Wanderer]

That is brilliant!

I saw that answer live (because I did watch a few episodes some years back ). It was from the American version, though it did have that Robinson woman as the quizmistress. I think the show was dropped from American networks but I could be wrong.

Think that pic's from"Who wants to be a millionaire?" Monty.

You are 100% correct - I watched that show too (and combined it with a senior moment). The first question in WWTBAM was simple and obvious to allow the contestant to feel at ease - indeed the first five were fairly simple. IIRC (which is doubtful ) the hostess tried to talk her out of giving that answer. I am sure I was one of millions rolling on the floor laughing at her, (poor thing). If you are going to be a complete idiot (see other thread) it is probably best not to do it on national TV.

[Montreal Wanderer]

We've just had another general election called - our third in four years. All four party leaders are pretty unpopular about this situation, hence the following joke (which I strongly suspect is old and stolen from the UK but may be new to some).

A DRIVER IS STUCK IN A TRAFFIC JAM GOING INTO DOWNTOWN OTTAWA. NOTHING IS MOVING NORTH OR SOUTH

SUDDENLY A MAN KNOCKS ON HIS WINDOW.

THE DRIVER ROLLS DOWN HIS WINDOW AND ASKS, "WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT'S THE HOLD-UP?
..."TERRORISTS HAVE KIDNAPPED HARPER, IGNATIEFF, LAYTON and DUCEPPE. THEY ARE ASKING FOR A TEN MILLION DOLLAR RANSOM. OTHERWISE, THEY ARE GOING TO DOUSE THEM WITH GASOLINE AND SET THEM ON FIRE. WE ARE GOING FROM CAR TO CAR, TAKING UP A COLLECTION"

THE DRIVER ASKS, "ON AVERAGE, HOW MUCH IS EVERYONE GIVING?

"ABOUT A LITRE."