Today I'm angry about.....

[Montreal Wanderer]

Today it's the fact that I'm not a gambling man. On the weekend just gone there was horse race (flats) in which a superb horse named Black Caviar took part. Given that it's not every day that one can watch such an equine beauty perform I thought I'd watch the race on television. The said horse duly won after giving the leader something like five lengths advantage at the 200 mark to simply cruise by to win the race by three lengths to the second nag and another five lengths back to the third place getter. During all the razzmatazz preceding the race I made a mental bet on the 'trifecta' (that's picking the first three placings, in the right order, for those of you who are as ignorant as I am). Of course the reason for my not-very-serious angst is that I picked the trio correctly. Even on starting prices such a bet gave a return of 160:1.

Set this against the 1,600 trifectas you would have lost in your lifetime had you been a gambling man and you will find that you are 10-1 ahead lifetime - then move this to the happy thread. As the late Aldo Moro once said of lotteries, they are a special state tax on imbeciles.

[Bruce Rioja]

Got to be a bacon sarnie with an egg on the side. No sauce.

You're SUCH a girl!

[Il Pirate]

Women.

Sometimes, one word, particularly this one, is enough explanation.....................

[Lofthouse Lower]

Got to be a bacon sarnie with an egg on the side. No sauce.

If it was up to me, I'd ban you for that.

[Raven]

Still no semi final ticket, ticket master lied yesterday as got through to the actual club and they told me the last tickets were being despatched today.

[Bruce Rioja]

This 'Special' train - Trinity Street to Wembley? Well I found out yesterday that the fecking thing takes five hours!! Five hours!!! By my working out that means that the bastarding cunting thing'll be travelling at 40mph!!! What's more, you're not allowed to take a scoop on board and it doesn't reach Wembley until 14:15 ergo - nay pub time.

Shitpipes!!!!

[Lofthouse Lower]

Post of the Year

but seriously I feel your pain

but I also lol'd

[Zulus Thousand of em]

This 'Special' train - Trinity Street to Wembley? Well I found out yesterday that the fecking thing takes five hours!! Five hours!!! By my working out that means that the bastarding cunting thing'll be travelling at 40mph!!! What's more, you're not allowed to take a scoop on board and it doesn't reach Wembley until 14:15 ergo - nay pub time.

Shitpipes!!!!

Take a large bottle of "water" or "orange" or "coca cola" - if you get my drift.

[Wandering Willy]

This 'Special' train - Trinity Street to Wembley? Well I found out yesterday that the fecking thing takes five hours!! Five hours!!! By my working out that means that the bastarding cunting thing'll be travelling at 40mph!!! What's more, you're not allowed to take a scoop on board and it doesn't reach Wembley until 14:15 ergo - nay pub time.

Shitpipes!!!!

Take a large bottle of "water" or "orange" or "coca cola" - if you get my drift.

Not me, officer.

[Bruce Rioja]

This 'Special' train - Trinity Street to Wembley? Well I found out yesterday that the fecking thing takes five hours!! Five hours!!! By my working out that means that the bastarding cunting thing'll be travelling at 40mph!!! What's more, you're not allowed to take a scoop on board and it doesn't reach Wembley until 14:15 ergo - nay pub time.

Shitpipes!!!!

Take a large bottle of "water" or "orange" or "coca cola" - if you get my drift.

That conversation has already taken place, Zulu.

[Worthy4England]

This 'Special' train - Trinity Street to Wembley? Well I found out yesterday that the fecking thing takes five hours!! Five hours!!! By my working out that means that the bastarding cunting thing'll be travelling at 40mph!!! What's more, you're not allowed to take a scoop on board and it doesn't reach Wembley until 14:15 ergo - nay pub time.

Shitpipes!!!!

Take a large bottle of "water" or "orange" or "coca cola" - if you get my drift.

That conversation has already taken place, Zulu.

Bad idea, they'll spot that it's got Mild in it...

[Bruce Rioja]

Bad idea, they'll spot that it's got Mild in it...

Completely indistinguishable from D & B I reckon, Worthy. Well, except for D & B being palatable.

[Prufrock]

Paste on a Dandelion and Burdock label, they'll have to be good to spot that.

[Prufrock]

Great minds and that. Tis fooking horrible too. Bowlers' drink.

[Bruce Rioja]

Tales are legion of landlords pouring the contents of the slops trays into the mild. I'd say that one can easily tell, too.

[Worthy4England]

Tales are legion of landlords pouring the contents of the slops trays into the mild. I'd say that one can easily tell, too.

Having been "behind the scenes" on many occasions, I'd suggest that most people couldn't. About the only thing you couldn't lob in the Mild was cider.

[Prufrock]

Rare folk drink full 'uns of Mild at our gaffe. Only Bowlers, and a very foxy young lady tother week. Very disorientating! As for the drip trays thing. We had a spell of measuring what we ran off on t'cask beers using pint glasses to measure. We stuck the slops from all four in one glass and plonked it in front of the Landlady's husband, and apparently it was VILE. I was surprised. Thought it might be a bit horrible being four different beers and all, but apparently RANCID. Was mainly two similar ones too.

[Lord Kangana]

Can't beat a ruby mild. I might have one tommorow now you've put the idea in my head.

I hope they've trimmed the grass mind, that crown was hellishly pronounced last time.

[Prufrock]

:mrgrin:

[Worthy4England]

Bastards!

I've smugly grinned at the thought of Brucie on the official train not being able to get any alcohol. Happy in the knowledge that I wasn't catching the official train but a normal train from Manchester so would have no problems grabbing a pre-prandial scoop or two on the way down and on the way back. Only to later find that all trains from Piccadilly are dry too....

That'll teach me.

Anyone got a bullet point list of all the necessary camouflage techniques?