Joke thread
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Lord Kangana
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Re: Joke thread
Verona?
You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks.
Yes, you can stare into the abyss, but it's staring right back.
Yes, you can stare into the abyss, but it's staring right back.
Re: Joke thread
prince of tyre
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Lord Kangana
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Re: Joke thread
Windsor for the full house.
You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks.
Yes, you can stare into the abyss, but it's staring right back.
Yes, you can stare into the abyss, but it's staring right back.
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Bruce Rioja
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TANGODANCER
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Re: Joke thread
Should be correct. IS correct.TANGODANCER wrote:Question on "Pointless" tonight:
Name a Shakespeare play with a place in its title?
A: Hamlet.
In a world that has decided
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
Re: Joke thread
Like when we played this weird telegraph quiz thing. All about naming things beginning with a certain letter. Anyway, question was 'Famous bridges beginning with the letter M'. You got a point for every one you had that no-one else did. We were the only ones to get a point. With 'Michael'. Grandpa went mental, not the point blah blah. Outside the box.
In a world that has decided
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
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William the White
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Re: Joke thread
Was that really the question?Prufrock wrote:Should be correct. IS correct.TANGODANCER wrote:Question on "Pointless" tonight:
Name a Shakespeare play with a place in its title?
A: Hamlet.
Timon of Athens?
Two Gents of Verona?
The Merchant of Venice?
The Merry wives of Windsor?
Sorry to give pedantry a bad name...
Re: Joke thread
Point of the game is like a backwards Family Fortunes though WtW. You have to name correct answers, but with as few mentioned by their sample survey. So odd ones. Merchant of Venice would've been a bad un, the rest, I imagine good. Hamlet should have been cracking. Technically correct, no-one would say it!
In a world that has decided
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
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William the White
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Re: Joke thread
Prufrock wrote:Point of the game is like a backwards Family Fortunes though WtW. You have to name correct answers, but with as few mentioned by their sample survey. So odd ones. Merchant of Venice would've been a bad un, the rest, I imagine good. Hamlet should have been cracking. Technically correct, no-one would say it!
Right - got it...
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TANGODANCER
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Re: Joke thread
Add Prince of Tyre (mentioned above) and you have the five.William the White wrote:Was that really the question?Prufrock wrote:Should be correct. IS correct.TANGODANCER wrote:Question on "Pointless" tonight:
Name a Shakespeare play with a place in its title?
A: Hamlet.
Timon of Athens?
Two Gents of Verona?
The Merchant of Venice?
The Merry wives of Windsor?
Sorry to give pedantry a bad name...
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?
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Bruce Rioja
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Gary the Enfield
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Re: Joke thread
Bruce Rioja wrote:What about Romeo & Juliet?
Midsomer Night's Dream?
Much ado about Nothing?
Re: Joke thread
The taming of Crewe?
A Midsomer Night's Dream?
The Tempreston?
CymRhonddabeline?
All's Wells That Ends Wells?
A Midsomer Night's Dream?
The Tempreston?
CymRhonddabeline?
All's Wells That Ends Wells?
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Gary the Enfield
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Re: Joke thread
HENLEY IV Parts 1 and 2
HENLEY V
HENLEY VI Parts 1,2 and 3
HENLEY VIII
Comedy of Harrows
HENLEY V
HENLEY VI Parts 1,2 and 3
HENLEY VIII
Comedy of Harrows
Re: Joke thread
Gary the Enfield wrote:HENLEY IV Parts 1 and 2
HENLEY V
HENLEY VI Parts 1,2 and 3
HENLEY VIII
(are those the Japanese versions?)-
TANGODANCER
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Re: Joke thread
The Banking Crisis simply explained
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Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day...
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news.
The donkey's died.'
Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'
Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'
Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'
Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened
with that dead donkey?'
Paddy said, 'I raffled him off.
I sold 500 tickets at two pounds a piece and made a profit of £898'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won.
So I gave him his two pounds back.'
Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland.
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Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day...
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news.
The donkey's died.'
Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'
Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'
Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'
Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened
with that dead donkey?'
Paddy said, 'I raffled him off.
I sold 500 tickets at two pounds a piece and made a profit of £898'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won.
So I gave him his two pounds back.'
Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland.
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?
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Lofthouse Lower
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Re: Joke thread
Doesn't deal with the Basel III banking regulatory changes though
Re: Joke thread
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peter's Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man says, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well...?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, a 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man says, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well...?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, a 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."
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Little Green Man
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Re: Joke thread
Exactly how old is this fourth Catholic man?jaffka wrote: The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
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