Teenage angst....

[Gooner Girl]

So this is a mostly male forum, good place to come for a male perspective on things i guess...

Was on fb chat this evening and this 20 year old lad i know pops up to ask my advice over a mutual acquaintance who he doesn't know very well but is clearly rather taken by.
(Not sure when or why i became an agony aunt but hey ho...)

He describes the situation to me and from what he says its fairly clear shes not interested in him or if she was, he's messed it up. Do i tell him that (gently) or do i encourage him to try again with her? Didn't want to scar him for life and crush young love but don't want to give him unrealistic hopes either. What do boys that age think about? (apart from sex...) I still don't understand how the male mind works and how best to help him...

[Zulus Thousand of em]

Tell him that there's plenty more fish in the sea. He might pull a haddock.

[Prufrock]

*Standard quote about gaaay. Football forum agony aunt*


Tell him. God tell him. I wished someone had told me when I was younger that if a girl doesn't seem interested fook it and move on. Plenty more clunge in the sea (had to restore my masculinity somehow. Vulgarity seemed the best way).

[Lord Kangana]

Just remember that when he turns in to an axe wielding sadistic mass rapist, it'll be your advice that triggered it.

[thebish]

So this is a mostly male forum, good place to come for a male perspective on things i guess...

Was on fb chat this evening and this 20 year old lad i know pops up to ask my advice over a mutual acquaintance who he doesn't know very well but is clearly rather taken by.
(Not sure when or why i became an agony aunt but hey ho...)

He describes the situation to me and from what he says its fairly clear shes not interested in him or if she was, he's messed it up. Do i tell him that (gently) or do i encourage him to try again with her? Didn't want to scar him for life and crush young love but don't want to give him unrealistic hopes either. What do boys that age think about? (apart from sex...) I still don't understand how the male mind works and how best to help him...

oh dear.. you attracted that stalker again??

[Gooner Girl]

Haha, very funny Bish...

Thanks LK, thats an encouraging thought...

Prufock, deep down i know you are probably right (even if you do sound like a character from 'The inbetweeners'...) am just being wussy about upsetting him...

[Prufrock]

Not as much as the angst from constantly chasing up blind alleys hoping every smile means something.

So I've heard. This thread is an emo's wet dream. But yeah, defo tell him. Cruel to tell him, waaaay crueler not to.

[Bruce Rioja]

Had you said that the lad was 14 then I'd have had some sympathy, but he's 20 FFS. Seriously, and I know that you won't appreciate me saying this, but I think that he's actually angling for a sympathy shag off of you if he's coming out with all that guff!

[BWFC_Insane]

I think it depends. Is he the sensitive type that likes to read poetry and enjoys revelling in his own angst ridden self?

Or is he normally an unemotional person?

Also you know him, is he the kind of guy who will be popular generally with the opposite sex or not?

If he's a good looking guy then no problem with the whole "plenty more fishes in the sea" message. If he's not and he's really trying to punch above his weight with this uninterested girl then you might wanna be a bit more tactful.

Perhaps tell him that "in all honesty you need to earn a lot of money before girls like that will look at you" or perhaps not!!!!!

[Lord Kangana]

Take BWFCi's advice seriously.

He's in a state of constant teenage angst, so he'd know.

[Gooner Girl]

Had you said that the lad was 14 then I'd have had some sympathy, but he's 20 FFS. Seriously, and I know that you won't appreciate me saying this, but I think that he's actually angling for a sympathy shag off of you if he's coming out with all that guff!

i very much doubt he wants a sympathy shag! For a start i'm 30, 10 years older then him, so he's hardly gonna fancy me is he! Secondly, i'm pretty sure he knows i am married and thirdly hes a spurs fan!

[Gooner Girl]

I think it depends. Is he the sensitive type that likes to read poetry and enjoys revelling in his own angst ridden self?

Or is he normally an unemotional person?

Also you know him, is he the kind of guy who will be popular generally with the opposite sex or not?

If he's a good looking guy then no problem with the whole "plenty more fishes in the sea" message. If he's not and he's really trying to punch above his weight with this uninterested girl then you might wanna be a bit more tactful.

Perhaps tell him that "in all honesty you need to earn a lot of money before girls like that will look at you" or perhaps not!!!!!

Ahhh. some serious advice! Thankyou!

Have to say i really don't know him that well to know what type of person he is, but given he didn't even know what the word 'angst' meant tonight i'm guessing he's a typical nethanderal 20 year old male! Shes a gorgeous girl, i suspect he probably is punching above his weight a bit, shes 5 years younger then him and from a posh family. He works for his mum and dads company selling pet food etc, been lusting after her over the horse manure or something...

[Lord Kangana]

Lets get this straight, she's 15?

[thebish]

Had you said that the lad was 14 then I'd have had some sympathy, but he's 20 FFS. Seriously, and I know that you won't appreciate me saying this, but I think that he's actually angling for a sympathy shag off of you if he's coming out with all that guff!

indeed he is....

(I've told you before, you're so naive hun!)

[Gooner Girl]

Lets get this straight, she's 15?

Or 16, though looks older. Still at school doing gcses anyway. I used to coach her athletics hence how I know her.

[Lord Kangana]

Then f*ck his angst, ignore BWFCi's advice, tell him to stop perving on schoolgirls and grow up.

[Gooner Girl]

Had you said that the lad was 14 then I'd have had some sympathy, but he's 20 FFS. Seriously, and I know that you won't appreciate me saying this, but I think that he's actually angling for a sympathy shag off of you if he's coming out with all that guff!

indeed he is....

(I've told you before, you're so naive hun!)

I'm 10 years older then him bish! To a 20 year old that's positively ancient! Plus he's asking my advice on a girl he fancies, would hardly do that if he fancied me would he you numpty?!

[Gooner Girl]

Then f*ck his angst, ignore BWFCi's advice, tell him to stop perving on schoolgirls and grow up.

4/5 years isn't much of an age gap, just seems more when one of them is still at school. My hubbys way older then me.

[thebish]

Had you said that the lad was 14 then I'd have had some sympathy, but he's 20 FFS. Seriously, and I know that you won't appreciate me saying this, but I think that he's actually angling for a sympathy shag off of you if he's coming out with all that guff!

indeed he is....

(I've told you before, you're so naive hun!)

I'm 10 years older then him bish! To a 20 year old that's positively ancient! Plus he's asking my advice on a girl he fancies, would hardly do that if he fancied me would he you numpty?!

never heard of Mrs Robinson??? (and you're quite a fit Mrs Robinson!!)

[thebish]

Then f*ck his angst, ignore BWFCi's advice, tell him to stop perving on schoolgirls and grow up.

4/5 years isn't much of an age gap, just seems more when one of them is still at school. My hubbys way older then me.

it is if she's less than 16 - jailbait....
my dad was 10yrs older than my mum - which was fine at 40/30...

but would not have been fine at 16/6