Joke thread

Prufrock · Post by **Prufrock** » Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:21 pm

Punchline should surely just be 'My god'. Anyway.

jaffka · Post by **jaffka** » Mon Apr 25, 2011 10:02 pm

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 7:45 pm

Not a joke, but made me laugh. Apparently, a true story published on another forum:

Retired bloke took a job as a greeter on a New York department store. Smart, well-mannered, very good at his job but always late for work. HR called him in one morning:

HR: John(?). You do your work very well but you're always late arriving.

John: Yes, I suppose I am.

HR: Wouldn't it be better all round if you got here a little earlier each morning?

John: Yes, I suppose it would. I've always started around this time.

HR: In your previous employment, what did they say to you when you arrived?

John: Usually, "good morning Admiral, would you like your coffee now?"

Montreal Wanderer · Post by **Montreal Wanderer** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 9:05 pm

Not a true one, Tango, but amusing with a little point. At least according to snopes. Being doing the internet rounds for a while and the store was always Walmart and the admiral's name was Charlie. Still I liked it.

TANGODANCER · Post by **TANGODANCER** » Thu Apr 28, 2011 9:12 pm

Montreal Wanderer wrote:Not a true one, Tango, but amusing with a little point. At least according to snopes. Being doing the internet rounds for a while and the store was always Walmart and the admiral's name was Charlie. Still I liked it.

Never heard it before Monty and it was supposed t be true, but I'll except your version as more likely. Just found it funny.

boltonboris · Post by **boltonboris** » Thu May 05, 2011 10:23 am

I met a popstar in a nightclub last night and we ended up getting really drunk and going back to my place.

She was all over me in the taxi, stroking and caressing my body and whispering filth into my ear, but as soon as she got through the front door she stiffened up and her attitude changed completely.

"What the heck is that pathetic little thing?" She demanded. "How on Earth do you think that you're going to satisfy me with that?"

"I'm sorry Adele", I replied, "It's the biggest fridge I could afford".

thebish · Post by **thebish** » Thu May 05, 2011 12:28 pm

Lofthouse Lower · Post by **Lofthouse Lower** » Thu May 05, 2011 12:40 pm

Good one

General Mannerheim · Post by **General Mannerheim** » Fri May 06, 2011 12:46 pm

boltonboris wrote:I met a popstar in a nightclub last night and we ended up getting really drunk and going back to my place.

She was all over me in the taxi, stroking and caressing my body and whispering filth into my ear, but as soon as she got through the front door she stiffened up and her attitude changed completely.

"What the heck is that pathetic little thing?" She demanded. "How on Earth do you think that you're going to satisfy me with that?"

"I'm sorry Adele", I replied, "It's the biggest fridge I could afford".

Adele called her first albums 19 & 21 because they are numbers that have special importance to her life

Her follow up 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510 is due out in the summer.

superjohnmcginlay · Post by **superjohnmcginlay** » Fri May 06, 2011 12:49 pm

General Mannerheim wrote:
boltonboris wrote:I met a popstar in a nightclub last night and we ended up getting really drunk and going back to my place.

She was all over me in the taxi, stroking and caressing my body and whispering filth into my ear, but as soon as she got through the front door she stiffened up and her attitude changed completely.

"What the heck is that pathetic little thing?" She demanded. "How on Earth do you think that you're going to satisfy me with that?"

"I'm sorry Adele", I replied, "It's the biggest fridge I could afford".

Adele called her first albums 19 & 21 because they are numbers that have special importance to her life

Her follow up 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510 is due out in the summer.

They were nowt to do with her weight then? Sorry couldn't resist.

CrazyHorse · Post by **CrazyHorse** » Fri May 06, 2011 12:51 pm

General Mannerheim wrote:Adele called her first albums 19 & 21 because they are numbers that have special importance to her life

Her follow up 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510 is due out in the summer.

Like it.

thebish · Post by **thebish** » Fri May 06, 2011 12:59 pm

General Mannerheim wrote:
boltonboris wrote:I met a popstar in a nightclub last night and we ended up getting really drunk and going back to my place.

She was all over me in the taxi, stroking and caressing my body and whispering filth into my ear, but as soon as she got through the front door she stiffened up and her attitude changed completely.

"What the heck is that pathetic little thing?" She demanded. "How on Earth do you think that you're going to satisfy me with that?"

"I'm sorry Adele", I replied, "It's the biggest fridge I could afford".

Adele called her first albums 19 & 21 because they are numbers that have special importance to her life

Her follow up 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510 is due out in the summer.

can't beat a good maths joke - and one that's also about a fattie - comedy gold!

Bruce Rioja · Post by **Bruce Rioja** » Fri May 06, 2011 1:18 pm

I've just had to google 'Adele' for these jokes to make any sense to me.

General - quality, mate!

seanworth · Post by **seanworth** » Fri May 06, 2011 1:20 pm

Bruce Rioja wrote:I've just had to google 'Adele' for these jokes to make any sense to me.

General - quality, mate!

Me as well. Was worth the search though.

boltonboris · Post by **boltonboris** » Fri May 06, 2011 1:28 pm

Fat bastard is on the radio as we speak!

seanworth · Post by **seanworth** » Fri May 06, 2011 1:41 pm

boltonboris wrote:Fat bastard is on the radio as we speak!

What number?

officer_dibble · Post by **officer_dibble** » Fri May 06, 2011 8:37 pm

Hahaaa! A PI joke, I never, ever, thought I would see a funny maths joke...

thebish · Post by **thebish** » Sun May 08, 2011 1:45 pm

not technically a joke - but very amusing anyway!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQ ... e=youtu.be

Zulus Thousand of em · Post by **Zulus Thousand of em** » Sun May 08, 2011 3:02 pm

thebish wrote:not technically a joke - but very amusing anyway!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQ ... e=youtu.be

Now that's good!

jaffka · Post by **jaffka** » Sun May 08, 2011 4:55 pm

thebish wrote:not technically a joke - but very amusing anyway!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQ ... e=youtu.be

class

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