Today I'm angry about.....

[clapton is god]

Does anyone on here understand mechanic-speak? I've had to take my car in because it's clearly poorly. They've just rang to inform me that I've 'blown the turbo'. Oh, have I indeed? Thank you very much for that. What the feck are you talking about?

Last turbo unit I priced up cost £260 and that was for a Mondeo. Plus labour possibly £500 or so, at a guess. I think thats what he meant to say.

[TANGODANCER]

Does anyone on here understand mechanic-speak? I've had to take my car in because it's clearly poorly. They've just rang to inform me that I've 'blown the turbo'. Oh, have I indeed? Thank you very much for that. What the feck are you talking about?

I think it means you've been overdoing the Jesnsen Button imitation. Usually happens when you're "doing a James Bond" and chasing some girl in an open sports car around France or somewhere at breakneck. What've you been up to?

[thebish]

Does anyone on here understand mechanic-speak? I've had to take my car in because it's clearly poorly. They've just rang to inform me that I've 'blown the turbo'. Oh, have I indeed? Thank you very much for that. What the feck are you talking about?

massive amounts of smoke? if so they could mean that you have blown your turbo seals - fills all sorts of bits of the engine up with oil that shouldn't be - hence the smoke...

remedy - replace the turbo - get rid of the oil - so, yes, costly...

[Bruce Rioja]

Does anyone on here understand mechanic-speak? I've had to take my car in because it's clearly poorly. They've just rang to inform me that I've 'blown the turbo'. Oh, have I indeed? Thank you very much for that. What the feck are you talking about?

Last turbo unit I priced up cost £260 and that was for a Mondeo. Plus labour possibly £500 or so, at a guess. I think thats what he meant to say.

Hmmm, there's been no mention of cost as of yet. That said, the car's still within warranty so hopefully I can get it through without any 'have-you-seen-how-much-your-driving-like-a-c*nt-has-just-cost-us?' type moments.

[Bruce Rioja]

Does anyone on here understand mechanic-speak? I've had to take my car in because it's clearly poorly. They've just rang to inform me that I've 'blown the turbo'. Oh, have I indeed? Thank you very much for that. What the feck are you talking about?

I think it means you've been overdoing the Jesnsen Button imitation. Usually happens when you're "doing a James Bond" and chasing some girl in an open sports car around France or somewhere at breakneck. What've you been up to?

Rumbled

[thebish]

today I am angry about all those twatting adverts for Joanna twatting lumley doing a travel programme about going somewhere abroad and telling us all how amazing it is and how such places touch your soul etc... nice person-off!!

reminds me of this excellent Kermode rant:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WenltEbuenM

[Bruce Rioja]

Does anyone on here understand mechanic-speak? I've had to take my car in because it's clearly poorly. They've just rang to inform me that I've 'blown the turbo'. Oh, have I indeed? Thank you very much for that. What the feck are you talking about?

massive amounts of smoke? if so they could mean that you have blown your turbo seals - fills all sorts of bits of the engine up with oil that shouldn't be - hence the smoke...

remedy - replace the turbo - get rid of the oil - so, yes, costly...

To be perfectly honest, Bish, I wouldn't know what a turbo is if you placed one in my lap, oily or otherwise. What does it do?

The car runs ok until I reach aorund 3,000 revs, then it just dies off and struggles up hills. Of course, because I'm unlikely to recognise that my car won't drive as it should a helpfull light comes on to tell me, and, in case I can't see said light 60cm in front of my face, it handily 'dings' at me as well. They may as well replace this 'ding' with a German voice calling me a vanker!

[thebish]

To be perfectly honest, Bish, I wouldn't know what a turbo is if you placed one in my lap, oily or otherwise. What does it do?

it's a strap-on engine gadget/box-of-tricks that fannies about with the air/fuel mixture so that you can accelerate faster...

there's a turbine that gets going after a while - powered by the exhaust - so there is a delay (your 3000revs, presumably) before it kicks in and you SHOULD get an ass-kicking burst of acceleration power...

that's basically what it is about.

[Bruce Rioja]

Ah, cheers, that'll be it. The bit I should've added was that it knacks up when I floor it in a lower gear to accelerate and it hits 3,000 revs, which, your post explains perfectly

[thebish]

Ah, cheers, that'll be it. The bit I should've added was that it knacks up when I floor it in a lower gear to accelerate and it hits 3,000 revs, which, your post explains perfectly

I fear your "what's an MOT?" comment has turbo-kicked your karmic arse!

[Bruce Rioja]

Ah, cheers, that'll be it. The bit I should've added was that it knacks up when I floor it in a lower gear to accelerate and it hits 3,000 revs, which, your post explains perfectly

I fear your "what's an MOT?" comment has turbo-kicked your karmic arse!

[TANGODANCER]

today I am angry about all those twatting adverts for Joanna twatting lumley doing a travel programme about going somewhere abroad and telling us all how amazing it is and how such places touch your soul etc... nice person-off!!

Well, Whicker and Judith Chalmers got away with it for years.

[thebish]

today I am angry about all those twatting adverts for Joanna twatting lumley doing a travel programme about going somewhere abroad and telling us all how amazing it is and how such places touch your soul etc... nice person-off!!

Well, Whicker and Judith Chalmers got away with it for years.

Whicker was entertaining!! (never watched chalmers!) - I don't object to travel programmes - just the faux "find yourself" "bogus spirituality" guff that seems to be the emphasis of the trailers! (plus - Lumley is just twatting irritating!!!)

[Bruce Rioja]

Did give rise to that finest of phrases though - I bet her fanny looks like Judith Chalmers' Passport.

[TANGODANCER]

Did give rise to that finest of phrases though - I bet her fanny looks like Judith Chalmers' Passport.

Which in turn remeinds one of Johnny Craddock's immortal " I'd be absolutely lost without Fanny!"

[thebish]

teresa twatting may - today decides to resurrect a bollox-story, over two years old, that was debunked at the time to prove that the Human Right Act should go.

she claims that an illegal immigrant was a allowed to stay here because he had a cat.

does she think we are all stupid xenophobic daily-fecking-mail readers????

[thebish]

Did give rise to that finest of phrases though - I bet her fanny looks like Judith Chalmers' Passport.

Which in turn remeinds one of Johnny Craddock's immortal " I'd be absolutely lost without Fanny!"

and... (re. a doughnut-making programme) "I hope yours all turn out like fanny's"

[Annoyed Grunt]

Did give rise to that finest of phrases though - I bet her fanny looks like Judith Chalmers' Passport.

Which in turn remeinds one of Johnny Craddock's immortal " I'd be absolutely lost without Fanny!"

and... (re. a doughnut-making programme) "I hope yours all turn out like fanny's"

True or urban legend?

[thebish]

Did give rise to that finest of phrases though - I bet her fanny looks like Judith Chalmers' Passport.

Which in turn remeinds one of Johnny Craddock's immortal " I'd be absolutely lost without Fanny!"

and... (re. a doughnut-making programme) "I hope yours all turn out like fanny's"

True or urban legend?

I think this one was actually true...

[Annoyed Grunt]

It's something I've heard before...but always thought it was along the lines of Captain Pugwash (stuff said but not actually said).