Where are you going tonight?

[Bruce Rioja]

Tonight, I'll be going to my friend and his good lady's for dinner. Where I certainly won't be going is anywhere where my bits might be in any danger!

[bobo the clown]

The surgeon was doing 3 at once .... separate rooms before you ask ... with a nurse in each. He had to disapperate at one point as he had a runner in one of the rooms. He said it happened now & again, but they were silly as the bollocking they get from their wives always outdid the one he was about to give them. My missus was outside & said the guy simply came out & nodded at his wife to ollow him as he exited the waiting room toward the car park. His wife was not a happy bunny.

My nurse was mid 50's, stocky & dyed red-hair .... ie like Molly Sugden in her 'Are You Being Served; mode. He said "I'm Mr Xyz & this is Sister Jones. .... You'll see from Sr. Jones that we prefer to have fat old slappers in here for this procedure. Well, we don't want him to be getting excited at this stage do we ?". Sr. Jones, presumable, heard this 8 times a day.

He pretended to be pulling a-la tug-o'-war when 'accessing' the area.

When he moved the cover saying "well, let's take a look at the offending article" he then turned to Sister & said "oh, good grief Sister, look at this one !! ... it's enormous !!!" Then turned back & in a stage whisper said "it's not, but we like to give you a bit a boost at this point". ... & on it went.

He did ask if I wanted to watch, as they have a mirror over the table. I bloody did not.

[Gooner Girl]

The surgeon was doing 3 at once .... separate rooms before you ask ... with a nurse in each. He had to disapperate at one point as he had a runner in one of the rooms. He said it happened now & again, but they were silly as the bollocking they get from their wives always outdid the one he was about to give them. My missus was outside & said the guy simply came out & nodded at his wife to ollow him as he exited the waiting room toward the car park. His wife was not a happy bunny.

My nurse was mid 50's, stocky & dyed red-hair .... ie like Molly Sugden in her 'Are You Being Served; mode. He said "I'm Mr Xyz & this is Sister Jones. .... You'll see from Sr. Jones that we prefer to have fat old slappers in here for this procedure. Well, we don't want him to be getting excited at this stage do we ?". Sr. Jones, presumable, heard this 8 times a day.

He pretended to be pulling a-la tug-o'-war when 'accessing' the area.

When he moved the cover saying "well, let's take a look at the offending article" he then turned to Sister & said "oh, good grief Sister, look at this one !! ... it's enormous !!!" Then turned back & in a stage whisper said "it's not, but we like to give you a bit a boost at this point". ... & on it went.

He did ask if I wanted to watch, as they have a mirror over the table. I bloody did not.

Well thats put me off my dinner! Won't be having sausages thats for sure...

[thebish]

Well thats put me off my dinner! Won't be having sausages thats for sure...

meatballs?

[Gary the Enfield]

Snip confessions?

Okay, here goes. NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had mine done about five years ago. Can't remember the year but it was the last season Arsenal were at Highbury (don't worry, it is relevant). I DO know that it was March 17th (St Patrick's Day) and was at 7.30 in the evening.

It was done at the local Primary Care Trust by a newly qualified Doctor (Surgeon) under supervision. The procedure for both sides is supposed to take 20 minutes. Mine took an hour. He was hacking away with the scalpel for an age until he conceded he couldn't find the tube and his supervisor had to step in. All through this I had three shots of Lignocane and a nurse talk banalities to me to, as she said 'take my mind off things' ''I'm not being funny'' I said '' but what particular subject do you think is going to interest me sufficiently to take my mind off someone hacking at my genitalia?''

Two days later I was in agony. I was wearing VERY loose jogging bottoms and my nuts were huge and inflamed. It was the day of the Arsenal game and we had family down. We caught the train and then walked from Finsbury Park to the ground. Every step was agony. There and back.

The following day I was in so much pain I went to casualty. On inspection the doctor declared I had a post-operative infection and an Oedema (pool of blood) on my right testicle. I was given antibiotics for the infection and had to attend a genito-urinary clinic for six months afterwards until the blood reabsorbed.

I'll tell you what, I'm never doing THAT again.

[William the White]

I think Habeas Corpus is really dated. It's a parody of the British 'Brian Rix' bedroom farces of the 1950s and 60s. It replaces their coyness with a 'permissive society' farce where everyone is betraying everyone else, or failing too.

early Alan Bennett nowhere near as good as later...

That said, Margot Leicester in comic mode is excellent and Rob andrews just as good as he was in A Midsummer night's dream. warm reception from the audience, lots of laughter - some from me.

Not to my taste, but i gather several nights sold out already. And it was a very amiable night out.

[bobo the clown]

Will, I think you're just avoiding the subject my friend.

You'll be claiming Brett's Palsey is funnier than Enfield's story next.

[William the White]

Will, I think you're just avoiding the subject my friend.

You'll be claiming Brett's Palsey is funnier than Enfield's story next.

If ever a subject was worth avoiding - in theory and practice - it is the subject some have been discussing on the 'Where Are You Going thread'...

I went to the theatre and had a good few laughs...

And they went to one... and didn't...

Habeas Corpus may be dated - but it doesn't hurt as much as a snip...

[Verbal]

Saw the girlfriend at the weekend. Cambridge is probably edging bath as the most beautiful place I've visited in the UK.

Unbelievable.

[thebish]

Been in cambridge for the weekend seeing the girlfriend. probably edging bath as the most beautiful place I've visited in the UK.

Unbelievable.

the way that is phrased makes me wonder..

do you mean the g/f is probably edging bath as the most beautiful place you've visited in the UK,

or do you mean that cambridge is probably edging bath as the most beautiful place you've visited in the UK?

[Verbal]

:/

the colleges are crazy beautiful.

[jaffka]

becareful now as you are edging towards a prufock type gaff that will never be forgotten

[Verbal]

im neither smoking, in paris or wearing pink in this event

[bobo the clown]

Saw the girlfriend at the weekend. Cambridge is probably edging bath as the most beautiful place I've visited in the UK.

Unbelievable.

... edging Bath !! ??

Seriously, Bath isn't the better out of Bath & Wells.

I'm not rubbishing it. It's fine, really, it is, but Cambridge doesn't 'edge' it ... it walks on it, jumps up & down a while, turns & wonders why it bothered.

A trip to Canterbury, York, Edinburgh, Cheltenham are called for methinks.

[Verbal]

bladdy hell, alright.

[William the White]

More theatre - partner and I just decided, out of the blue, to go to the royal exchange and catch the late C P Taylor's best play, GOOD. It was one of those, check the tickets available, get down to trinity st, park, get on train, make it with 10 mins to spare...

This is a great play... We had both seen the 1981 Royal Shakespeare Co premier [Alan Howard, Joe Milia]... before we met each other... and loved it, and cherished the memory of it...

This play is about what happens if you start to collaborate with evil - even for 'good' reasons - at what point does it become participation... It's about a philosophy professor in 1930s Germany, whose best friend is Jewish... who little by little adapts himself to the new circumstances of his world, and eventually finds himself offering a 'humane' interpretation of Auschwitz... It has another running theme, hard to describe, but theatrically brilliant, whereby he 'hears' music and song at key moments of his life... so, he joins the SS as he hears, sung by Hitler, the 'Drinking song' from The Student Prince... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vwuqq5ozw-s" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

This is good... not as good as the original production, not as well cast. lots of faults... but a play rarely produced that should be seen...

[clapton is god]

Octagon yesterday evening for Habeas Corpus.

I wondered how long it would be before someone on stage had trousers that inexplicably fell down. Didn't have long to wait.

The last (stage) farce I saw was about 1976 with Sid James at the Winter Gardens, Blackpool just before he died. I walked out of that. I wasn't tempted to do the same here but I guess farce is just not my thing. It wasn't helped, for me, by one particular scene immediately before the interval which brought back a memory of a recent event. I suppose I'd been quietly enjoying it until then. Funeral this morning. That might be more fun than this.

Not an empty seat in the house and lots of laughter from most.

[Bruce Rioja]

The Flag.

[boltonboris]

The Flag.

Wall to wall minge

[thebish]

The Flag.

Wall to wall minge

I've heard Bruce called some things in my life!!