Joke thread

If you have a life outside of BWFC, then this is the place to tell us all about your toilet habits, and those bizarre fetishes.......

Moderator: Zulus Thousand of em

Post Reply
User avatar
Montreal Wanderer
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 12948
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
Location: Montreal, Canada

Re: Joke thread

Post by Montreal Wanderer » Mon Jan 02, 2012 10:14 pm

TANGODANCER wrote:As in cheque Monty?
Indeed - Americans write check and we Canadians use either. Joke was sent by a Jewish friend and I didn't think to sanitize for English tastes. He also sent:


It was mealtime during a flight on El-Al.

"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked Moishe, seated in front.

"What are my choices?" Moishe asked.

"Yes or no," she replied.
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
Top
User avatar
TANGODANCER
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 44175
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:35 pm
Location: Between the Bible, Regency and the Rubaiyat and forever trying to light penny candles from stars.

Re: Joke thread

Post by TANGODANCER » Mon Jan 02, 2012 11:01 pm

No sweat, just checking. :wink:
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?
Top
User avatar
Montreal Wanderer
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 12948
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
Location: Montreal, Canada

Re: Joke thread

Post by Montreal Wanderer » Tue Jan 03, 2012 3:27 am

TANGODANCER wrote:No sweat, just checking. :wink:
Don't you mean chequing?
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
Top
User avatar
TANGODANCER
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 44175
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:35 pm
Location: Between the Bible, Regency and the Rubaiyat and forever trying to light penny candles from stars.

Re: Joke thread

Post by TANGODANCER » Tue Jan 03, 2012 12:39 pm

Montreal Wanderer wrote:
TANGODANCER wrote:No sweat, just checking. :wink:
Don't you mean chequing?
No sir, chequeing involves money, czeching involves republics and I'm only checking spelling. :D
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?
Top
thebish
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 37589
Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2006 9:01 am
Location: In my armchair

Re: Joke thread

Post by thebish » Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:38 am

"Barack Obama has announced that US defence spending will be cut to $660 billion a year, meaning that the USA no longer has the highest annual defence budget in the world. That honour now goes to Manchester City."

(arf!)
Top
2399
Passionate
Passionate
Posts: 2084
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:55 pm
Location: 10500+ Miles from the Reebok.

Re: Joke thread

Post by 2399 » Wed Jan 11, 2012 11:10 am

I came up with this last night. Here goes:


Wednesday

"When's They coming round?"

"Wednesday"

"Yes I know that's when they will but when exactly?"

"Wednesday"

"When's they coming!?!"

"They are coming Wednesday"

"I know they are coming when's they come but what day!?"

"the 18th"

"ah!"


Could of been better :cry: after reading it after posting it needed more anger!
Top
Annoyed Grunt
Legend
Legend
Posts: 8046
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 9:25 am
Location: Bolton

Re: Joke thread

Post by Annoyed Grunt » Wed Jan 11, 2012 1:21 pm

Eh?
Top
2399
Passionate
Passionate
Posts: 2084
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:55 pm
Location: 10500+ Miles from the Reebok.

Re: Joke thread

Post by 2399 » Wed Jan 11, 2012 2:38 pm

Wednesday sounds like 'When's They'
Top
User avatar
truewhite15
Passionate
Passionate
Posts: 3033
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 7:25 pm

Re: Joke thread

Post by truewhite15 » Wed Jan 11, 2012 3:35 pm

Burrrrn....
Top
User avatar
TANGODANCER
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 44175
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:35 pm
Location: Between the Bible, Regency and the Rubaiyat and forever trying to light penny candles from stars.

Re: Joke thread

Post by TANGODANCER » Wed Jan 11, 2012 6:30 pm

Good one that, 2399. Got any more? :|
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?
Top
Annoyed Grunt
Legend
Legend
Posts: 8046
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 9:25 am
Location: Bolton

Re: Joke thread

Post by Annoyed Grunt » Wed Jan 11, 2012 6:33 pm

2399 wrote:Wednesday sounds like 'When's They'
Ahhh, no.....
Top
jaffka
Legend
Legend
Posts: 8439
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 1:36 pm
Location: uk

Re: Joke thread

Post by jaffka » Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:29 pm

Hey 2399 maybe you write a joke book.
Top
User avatar
Prufrock
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 24832
Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:51 pm

Re: Joke thread

Post by Prufrock » Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:52 am

He's fecking ace. We should do a whip round to get him over for a game! Better put it into a trust though so he can spend it on Cold Feet DVD's!
In a world that has decided
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
Top
2399
Passionate
Passionate
Posts: 2084
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:55 pm
Location: 10500+ Miles from the Reebok.

Re: Joke thread

Post by 2399 » Thu Jan 12, 2012 6:21 am

My partner says not to make jokes anymore!
Top
User avatar
TANGODANCER
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 44175
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:35 pm
Location: Between the Bible, Regency and the Rubaiyat and forever trying to light penny candles from stars.

Re: Joke thread

Post by TANGODANCER » Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:15 pm

2399 wrote:My partner says not to make jokes anymore!
Boo. Partner out.
Si Deus pro nobis, quis contra nos?
Top
2399
Passionate
Passionate
Posts: 2084
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:55 pm
Location: 10500+ Miles from the Reebok.

Re: Joke thread

Post by 2399 » Fri Jan 13, 2012 2:56 am

This isn't mine but I found it funny!
The joke is what the commentator said


Paul Collingwood was batting the other week at the M.C.G. in a Domestic 2020 match.
The Commentator said: 'The last time Collingwood played at the M.C.G. they lost in the Grand Final!!'

(In September last year Collingwood lost to Geelong)

It's like if a Cricketer had the Surname 'Manchester United' or 'Arsenal' :D
Top
User avatar
Montreal Wanderer
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 12948
Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 12:45 am
Location: Montreal, Canada

Re: Joke thread

Post by Montreal Wanderer » Fri Jan 13, 2012 3:49 am

:conf: I guess you have to walk around upside down to get this.
"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names. " Elbert Hubbard.
Top
2399
Passionate
Passionate
Posts: 2084
Joined: Fri Jan 01, 2010 1:55 pm
Location: 10500+ Miles from the Reebok.

Re: Joke thread

Post by 2399 » Fri Jan 13, 2012 4:45 am

It was just a funny comment made by a commentator for the cricket.

Not really a joke!
Top
bobo the clown
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 19597
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2005 8:49 am
Location: N Wales, but close enough to Chester I can pretend I'm in England
Contact:
Contact bobo the clown

Re: Joke thread

Post by bobo the clown » Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:11 am

Montreal Wanderer wrote::conf: I guess you have to walk around upside down to get this.
Nope. I tried that & it just looks the same .... only upside down.
Not advocating mass-murder as an entirely positive experience, of course, but it had its moments.
"I understand you are a very good footballer" ... "I try".
Top
User avatar
Bruce Rioja
Immortal
Immortal
Posts: 38742
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 9:19 pm
Location: Drifting into the arena of the unwell.

Re: Joke thread

Post by Bruce Rioja » Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:20 am

Welcome to Celebrity Ready Steady Cook. So, Anthony, you had £5 to spend......... what's in your bag?

"Organic chicken, langoustines, rice, stock, wine, scallops, onions, garlic, stilton, brie, goats cheese, three bottles of Cava, a bottle of Blue Nun and I still have £2.74 left over!"
May the bridges I burn light your way
Top
Post Reply

Return to “General Banter”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests