The penalties thread.

[TANGODANCER]

While we're banning offsides and penalties, why not go the whole hog and use a couple of jumpers for goalposts, and get rid of official kits, playing shirts v skins instead?

No titty-line players and only goalies allowed to wear gloves. Now you're talking real football. Bring it on.

[Gary the Enfield]

Flying keepers

or

Three and in!

[Dave Sutton's barnet]

Banning offsides is a shit idea though. As stated previously, it'd end up with the ball just being smashed from one end to the other. Attackers would push higher and higher up field, and defenders would have to drop deeper and deeper to go with them, which leaves packed out penalty areas at either end and not a lot inbetween. There'd be no place for fast players, and the only skill rewarded would be the ability to win headers.

Is that a match report?

Rest of the conversation is reminding me of the superb Christopher Brookmyre short Playground Fitba

[bobo the clown]

Rest of the conversation is reminding me of the superb Christopher Brookmyre short Playground Fitba

I'm glad it is coz I wrote that !

I did it about 12 years ago. Much longer and, of couse, he has his own words there too but the general threme and some very specific phrases are indisputably those I wrote.

[thebish]

Lets get rid of tackling, penalties and offside.
OR
just follow ladies' football ?

Not funny. Sexist pigs.

you can call us "pigs" if you like (though, that's not very polite!) - but the fact is that you yourself, GG, Gooner Girl, would much rather pay money to go and watch the (recently pretty unsuccessful) MENS Arsenal team than you would pay money to go and watch the (recently VERY successful) WOMENS Arsenal team. is that not true?

[ohjimmyjimmy]

Headers & Volleys !

* note: only rule is, you can't set yourself up.