Joke thread
Moderator: Zulus Thousand of em
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Annoyed Grunt
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- Location: Bolton
Re: Joke thread
glad you liked it. 
Re: Joke thread
No idea mate we're still paying for it!The Axman wrote:I'm moving this one here.Have you heard the one about the Qatari, Sepp Blatter, and Phil Gartside standing at a bar. The Qatari asked Phil Gartside how much he paid for his stadium, then he asks Sepp Blatter how much the Qataris should spend on their World Cup Stadium, to which Sepp Blatter said.... "no idea, I've nothing to do with realty". Ta da.Dave Sutton's barnet wrote:Blatter... Phil G... nothing to do with reality... there's gotta be a joke there, right?Sepp Blatter said rather than wrote:I had a phone call from Phil Gartside, the chairman of Bolton, and I have to say it was a very emotional call. As he said, from time to time there are forces somewhere that have nothing to do with reality.
Re: Joke thread
Falsified deliberate corruption of the English language.
Not a real word.
Not a real word.
In a world that has decided
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
Re: Joke thread
Prufrock wrote:Falsified deliberate corruption of the English language.
Not a real word.
sorry to be critical, but...
crap joke!
Re: Joke thread
You just don't get it.
It's ironic
It's ironic
In a world that has decided
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
That it's going to lose its mind
Be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind.
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Annoyed Grunt
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- Location: Bolton
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Winter Hill White
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Re: Joke thread
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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CrazyHorse
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Re: Joke thread
I once started a website for female drivers. It kept crashing.
Businesswoman of the year.
Re: Joke thread
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground, and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist, and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position...still clasping his hands at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants, and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel?'
'Feels great,' he replied, 'but I still think my thumb's broken!'
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground, and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist, and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.
'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position...still clasping his hands at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants, and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel?'
'Feels great,' he replied, 'but I still think my thumb's broken!'
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Lord Kangana
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Re: Joke thread
The crisp one had me in tears.
You can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks.
Yes, you can stare into the abyss, but it's staring right back.
Yes, you can stare into the abyss, but it's staring right back.
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Gary the Enfield
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Re: Joke thread
Genius.
feck you Hitler! Ha Ha Ha!
feck you Hitler! Ha Ha Ha!
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Bruce Rioja
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Re: Joke thread
Brilliant.thebish wrote:some of these are very funny!!
http://www.sadanduseless.com/2012/04/texts-from-my-dog/
May the bridges I burn light your way
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Annoyed Grunt
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Re: Joke thread
Genius.thebish wrote:some of these are very funny!!
http://www.sadanduseless.com/2012/04/texts-from-my-dog/
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