Joke thread
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Re: Joke thread
Very good
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Re: Joke thread
Go to Google maps and search for 'council house Manchester' 

- Worthy4England
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Re: Joke thread
I'm going to hazard a guess that it comes up with the Ethiad?clapton is god wrote:Go to Google maps and search for 'council house Manchester'
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Re: Joke thread
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.
It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about"
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.
It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about"
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
Businesswoman of the year.
Re: Joke thread
A: I went to Poole on holiday last week.
B: In Dorset?
A: Oh aye - I'd recommend it to anyone!
B: In Dorset?
A: Oh aye - I'd recommend it to anyone!
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Re: Joke thread
You are Tim Lovejoy and I claim my £5.thebish wrote:A: I went to Poole on holiday last week.
B: In Dorset?
A: Oh aye - I'd recommend it to anyone!
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Re: Joke thread
I'd claim my £5 too - back.Annoyed Grunt wrote:You are Tim Lovejoy and I claim my £5.thebish wrote:A: I went to Poole on holiday last week.
B: In Dorset?
A: Oh aye - I'd recommend it to anyone!
Re: Joke thread
it was on the maconie and radcliffe R6 show yesterday along with...Annoyed Grunt wrote:You are Tim Lovejoy and I claim my £5.thebish wrote:A: I went to Poole on holiday last week.
B: In Dorset?
A: Oh aye - I'd recommend it to anyone!
(at a swimming pool) Maconie: "I'm off for a dip"
lifeguard: "what's that you've got there?"
Maconie: "hummus."
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Re: Joke thread
Almost as bad as the Greek double dip recession joke, thanks to plummeting sales of hummus and taramasalata 

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Re: Joke thread
= Bill?Bruce Rioja wrote:Very goodthebish wrote:

Re: Joke thread
I don't get it. Do I need to know who the chap to the right is?thebish wrote:
Re: Joke thread
it's bill cosbyjimbo wrote:I don't get it. Do I need to know who the chap to the right is?thebish wrote:
Re: Joke thread
You do. It is Bill Cosby (Cos b).jimbo wrote:I don't get it. Do I need to know who the chap to the right is?thebish wrote:
Obviously this then relates to basic Triganometry to find the sides and angles of a right angled triangle. It isn't quite as funny when someone needs to explain it.
Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.
Re: Joke thread
Ok. Yeah, I get it now. Sadly though my maths is up to speed, my knowledge of old American personalities is lacking.malcd1 wrote:You do. It is Bill Cosby (Cos b).jimbo wrote:I don't get it. Do I need to know who the chap to the right is?thebish wrote:
Obviously this then relates to basic Triganometry to find the sides and angles of a right angled triangle. It isn't quite as funny when someone needs to explain it.
Re: Joke thread
I can't believe you didn't know Bill Cosby, comedian genius and actor. His act and television programme (The Cosby Show) consisted entirely of him talking in a funny voice and walking round like a chicken.jimbo wrote:Ok. Yeah, I get it now. Sadly though my maths is up to speed, my knowledge of old American personalities is lacking.malcd1 wrote:You do. It is Bill Cosby (Cos b).jimbo wrote:I don't get it. Do I need to know who the chap to the right is?thebish wrote:
Obviously this then relates to basic Triganometry to find the sides and angles of a right angled triangle. It isn't quite as funny when someone needs to explain it.

Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.
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Re: Joke thread
Up until not very long ago (about 5 mins), I thought he played Benson in Soap..Oops.malcd1 wrote:I can't believe you didn't know Bill Cosby, comedian genius and actor. His act and television programme (The Cosby Show) consisted entirely of him talking in a funny voice and walking round like a chicken.jimbo wrote:Ok. Yeah, I get it now. Sadly though my maths is up to speed, my knowledge of old American personalities is lacking.malcd1 wrote:You do. It is Bill Cosby (Cos b).jimbo wrote:I don't get it. Do I need to know who the chap to the right is?thebish wrote:
Obviously this then relates to basic Triganometry to find the sides and angles of a right angled triangle. It isn't quite as funny when someone needs to explain it.

Re: Joke thread
And until that comment I was never sure you werre't the charactor playing Bob in Soap.Worthy4England wrote:Up until not very long ago (about 5 mins), I thought he played Benson in Soap..Oops.jimbo wrote:I can't believe you didn't know Bill Cosby, comedian genius and actor. His act and television programme (The Cosby Show) consisted entirely of him talking in a funny voice and walking round like a chicken.malcd1 wrote:Ok. Yeah, I get it now. Sadly though my maths is up to speed, my knowledge of old American personalities is lacking.jimbo wrote:thebish wrote:
You do. It is Bill Cosby (Cos b).
Obviously this then relates to basic Triganometry to find the sides and angles of a right angled triangle. It isn't quite as funny when someone needs to explain it.

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Re: Joke thread
Roy Hodgson was asked had he ever Tweeted anyone..
"Yes", he replied "I tweeted my wife to a lovely meal for our anniversawy."
"Yes", he replied "I tweeted my wife to a lovely meal for our anniversawy."
What a hero, What a man...... Ooooh, what a bad foul...
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