Today I'm angry about.....

[boltonboris]

And this is supposed to be a male!!!!



Holy sh*t there must bieber a lot of lesies out there

Some daft woman is sueing him for £6 mil because his audience screams made her deaf. Took her daughter to a concert and claims he deliberately roused the audience to frenzied screams and gave her tinitus.

Gotta love those crazy Americans.

Crazy bastard fans have been giving the woman death threats!! People are fvcked

[Hoboh]

Somebody told me they get £28,000 a year before any overtime or benefits. If that's true, surely somebody with half a pissin' braincell would fancy earning that?

You must be able to work as part of a team and on own initiative and maintain a good level of physical fitness.... £16,087 - £18,114 a year

Part of their own initiative?? Council workers???

Still.. Taking into account how much they get for weekends and overtime and shite, they'll be pulling 22-23k. Which ain't bad for a fckin numpty!

Actually most of the 'bin men of bolton' are agency workers and earn sweet fa, trust me, as perm ones leave temps take over all part of the fat controllers plans to slash any budget not connected with pocket lining, sorry development.

[Puskas]

Microsoft Access.

It's not a real database. It's a bag of shit. Without the bag.

When I'm Global Head Of All IT Ever, I'm removing it.

Folk who want to use it will have to fill in a form. Then I'll send a group of lads armed with sticks (with nails hammered through them) to beat the crap out of the applicant.

While they're lying on the floor bleeding, said group of lads will remove windows from their PCs, and install linux. But a version of linux in which I have aliased all "help" and "man" and related commands to echo "f**k off".

That'll learn 'em. Access bastards.

[Worthy4England]

Microsoft Access.

It's not a real database. It's a bag of shit. Without the bag.

When I'm Global Head Of All IT Ever, I'm removing it.

Folk who want to use it will have to fill in a form. Then I'll send a group of lads armed with sticks (with nails hammered through them) to beat the crap out of the applicant.

While they're lying on the floor bleeding, said group of lads will remove windows from their PCs, and install linux. But a version of linux in which I have aliased all "help" and "man" and related commands to echo "f**k off".

That'll learn 'em. Access bastards.

Whilst I would agree it's not in the same class as Oracle etc. It's fine as a smallish relational DB tool.

I've never noticed anything particularly wrong with it used in the correct context.

[Lord Kangana]

When I'm King of the World, these kind of conversations will require a license. That the likes of you will never get.

[Worthy4England]

When you are King of the World, I'll be too busy plotting revolution to be having conversations like this. So save yersel the paperwork.

[Lord Kangana]

Duly noted.

[CrazyHorse]

See now I dunno who I want to be king of the world.
I'm liking LK's harsh stance on petty IT bickering. Yet Worthy's no nonsense reduced paperwork revolution is a welcome breath of fresh air.

#confused

[Lord Kangana]

Dithering will be punishable by firing squad btw.

Does that help?

[CrazyHorse]

Right then. Worthy it is.

[bobo the clown]

False marketing.

Sainsbury's this weekend. Advertise 38 dishwasher tabs at a mere £4.99.

I go to them & they appear to all be sold out. However, there were packs of 40 .... easily mistaken for 38 as they are the same make, size etc. ... for £12.99.

How many people mistakenly bought the wrong ones &, if they are as uncareful as me about their bills, won't even realise ?

I went back to my car & then thought "fckg no. This isn't right"

So, having got upon my high horse I returned to the shop & demanded to see the manager. Being a Sunday they produced some 14yr old dweeb in a suit 3 sizes too big for him who spluttered & muttered bllx at me for a while until I stopped him.

He attempted to stop me photographing the display, the prices & the fact that there were none of the advertised bargains at £4.99.

I have arranged a meeting with the proper manager on Tuesday having muttered about speaking to the press.

I am riled now.

[Worthy4England]

I know I shouldn't Bobo, but that made me laugh.

I just have this vision of Mr C, running up and down the isles, camera phone in hand, trying to get back to the offending shelf, being chased by spotty faced yoofs.

[Verbal]

False marketing.

Sainsbury's this weekend. Advertise 38 dishwasher tabs at a mere £4.99.

I go to them & they appear to all be sold out. However, there were packs of 40 .... easily mistaken for 38 as they are the same make, size etc. ... for £12.99.

How many people mistakenly bought the wrong ones &, if they are as uncareful as me about their bills, won't even realise ?

I went back to my car & then thought "fckg no. This isn't right"

So, having got upon my high horse I returned to the shop & demanded to see the manager. Being a Sunday they produced some 14yr old dweeb in a suit 3 sizes too big for him who spluttered & muttered bllx at me for a while until I stopped him.

He attempted to stop me photographing the display, the prices & the fact that there were none of the advertised bargains at £4.99.

I have arranged a meeting with the proper manager on Tuesday having muttered about speaking to the press.

I am riled now.

[boltonboris]

I used to work for a bank. And whenever anybody used the line "I'll go to the press" we were instructed to laugh at them and practically say "feck* try it, see if they give a fvck". Always makes me laugh does that threat.

"Erm.. Mr Murdoch? My statement arrived 2 days later than it normally does and it went to my old address... Hello? Hello??"

[Hoboh]

I used to work for a bank. And whenever anybody used the line "I'll go to the press" we were instructed to laugh at them and practically say "feck try it, see if they give a fvck". Always makes me laugh dies that threat.

"Erm.. Mr Murdoch? My statement arrived 2 days later than it normally dies and it went to my old address... Hello? Hello??"

I would be suprised now if mentioning the press in a bank induces fear akin to a hand gun

[Hoboh]

See now I dunno who I want to be king of the world.
I'm liking LK's harsh stance on petty IT bickering. Yet Worthy's no nonsense reduced paperwork revolution is a welcome breath of fresh air.

#confused

What about my M16's Apache Choppers and nuke laden B1's then?

Whimps!

[Bruce Rioja]

False marketing.

Sainsbury's this weekend. Advertise 38 dishwasher tabs at a mere £4.99.

I go to them & they appear to all be sold out. However, there were packs of 40 .... easily mistaken for 38 as they are the same make, size etc. ... for £12.99.

How many people mistakenly bought the wrong ones &, if they are as uncareful as me about their bills, won't even realise ?

I went back to my car & then thought "fckg no. This isn't right"

So, having got upon my high horse I returned to the shop & demanded to see the manager. Being a Sunday they produced some 14yr old dweeb in a suit 3 sizes too big for him who spluttered & muttered bllx at me for a while until I stopped him.

He attempted to stop me photographing the display, the prices & the fact that there were none of the advertised bargains at £4.99.

I have arranged a meeting with the proper manager on Tuesday having muttered about speaking to the press.

I am riled now.

Take your big shoes off and you can stand closer to the sink, you lazy bastard.

[thebish]

this has been quite a long (but enjoyable) weekend - which has meant a couple of long car journeys for me - and consequently I have found myself trapped in the car with Michael Vaughan...

I'm finding it hard to put my finger on why the humourless git irritates me so much - but he does... I like Agnew and Tuffnell - I can listen to them for hours on end with no irritation - but 5mins of Michael Vaughan and I am ready to rip out the radio and deposit it on the central reservation of the M25...

I suspect it is his total inability to be anything even close to self-effacing or to laugh at himself... is this a Yorkshire trait? cos I feel exactly the same about Boycott - except at least the others have got to the point where they can just take the piss out of him - they don't do that with Vaughan...

[ohjimmyjimmy]

Range Rover drivers.
Don't know why, they're just really smug bastards.

[thebish]

Range Rover drivers.
Don't know why, they're just really smug bastards.

Michael Vaughan drives one...