If I were Owen Coyle..

[Worthy4England]

I too understand the "last stand" speech but, as others have said, it would be laughable given previous form from Coyle. Let's face it, he has lost them.

The only way to dominate is to divide and rule, not in a petty way by dropping individuals for minor infringements, but by starting from the beginning with one to one sessions (meetings with each player, not training) finding out the attitudes and views on both sides. Then set out exactly what is required of each highlighting the changes required for different types of opposition, then as small groups, e.g. defenders only, midfield only, then finally as a team.

Then develop a credible and rigorous set of training scenarios which test the players understanding of plans for different scenarios. Apply those preset plans according to who we are playing. Analyse results and then interview each player again, pointing out good and bad phases of play. Reset training to address issues. Arse-kicking is the last resort of the manager and should be used very sparingly or it loses it's effect.

Unfortunately, an analytical brain is required for this and I don't see one at the club. It's all a bit 1960's from what I can see.

I doubt that any of this has been undertaken. In fact they probably all turn up to training sessions and just go through the motions until it's time for the wiff-waff tournament.

Aye .... it's a shame pre-season was so long ago, don't you think !! That would have been an ideal opportunity for all this sort of stuff.

Pre-season is all about fitness, you silly clown.

It's absolutely nothing to do with the shambles playing out before us.

As was pointed out ad-nauseum.

[bobo the clown]

So the fiasco of a pre-season, which "wasn't about results, but about fitness, shape and preparation" wasn't for any of this other more cerebal stuff as well ?

OK, I'm glad it was such an amazing success then.

[Worthy4England]

So the fiasco of a pre-season, which "wasn't about results, but about fitness, shape and preparation" wasn't for any of this other more cerebal stuff as well ?

OK, I'm glad it was such an amazing success then.

Fairly evidentially not.

I don't recall folk mentioning this shape and preparation stuff either.

[Ianmooreslovechild]

"Preseason is the bit before the season starts,we talk about our holidays and dine al fresco if the weather is nice,sometimes we can get the table tennis gear outside.The boys like having the sun on their backs. We try not to overdo it really(always the danger of strains if the preseason diet has gone awry) play a bit of keepy uppy ,three and in, wembley doubles. This year one of the lads suggested we look at some videos from last season and do some analysis but I'd just signed up with Love Film and wanted to make full use of the deluxe package.Plenty of time for watching footy once the season starts proper with the highlights shows and stuff.Some folk take footy far too seriously,fitness, shape and preparation,tactics,all those buzz words dont matter a jot.It all comes down to what you do on the day on the pitch and that can only work when players are suitably relaxed and able to express themselves freely. Lets face it theyre pros .They dont need me banging on about how to play the game and how to organise themselves now do they?"

Exerpt from"Sunny Side Up" Owen Coyle's guide to aspiring football managers.

[Worthy4England]

[bedwetter2]

"Preseason is the bit before the season starts,we talk about our holidays and dine al fresco if the weather is nice,sometimes we can get the table tennis gear outside.The boys like having the sun on their backs. We try not to overdo it really(always the danger of strains if the preseason diet has gone awry) play a bit of keepy uppy ,three and in, wembley doubles. This year one of the lads suggested we look at some videos from last season and do some analysis but I'd just signed up with Love Film and wanted to make full use of the deluxe package.Plenty of time for watching footy once the season starts proper with the highlights shows and stuff.Some folk take footy far too seriously,fitness, shape and preparation,tactics,all those buzz words dont matter a jot.It all comes down to what you do on the day on the pitch and that can only work when players are suitably relaxed and able to express themselves freely. Lets face it theyre pros .They dont need me banging on about how to play the game and how to organise themselves now do they?"

Exerpt from"Sunny Side Up" Owen Coyle's guide to aspiring football managers.

You've smuggled some sort of recording device into Euxton haven't you?

[Ianmooreslovechild]

Me I'm just the pastry chef. Owen asked me to proof read it. Massive piece of work,epic proportions,but then he does insist on using very fat crayons.

I can also reveal that most of our tactical shortcoming s this season are down to Mavis sitting on the etch a sketch at the first preseason meet up.Owen asked Gartside for a replacement but he refused muttering something about having already given him money for lots of things and him either breaking them,losing them or deciding he didnt want them in the first place.

OC is considering getting a paper round or a job at the local Crepery so he can save up for a new one himself.

[bedwetter2]

Me I'm just the pastry chef. Owen asked me to proof read it. Massive piece of work,epic proportions,but then he does insist on using very fat crayons.

I can also reveal that most of our tactical shortcoming s this season are down to Mavis sitting on the etch a sketch at the first preseason meet up.Owen asked Gartside for a rep[lacement but he's refused muttering something about I've already given you money for lots of things and you either break them,lose them or decide you didnt want them in the first place.

OC is considering getting a paper round and saving up for a new one himself.

Oh thank God! Deliverance!
Hell, I've done it now and imagined Owen in the guise of one of those backwoods freaks shouting "squeal piggy, SQUEAL!" whilst attempting to mount Davies.

[Hoboh]

......I'd find a bridge over a disused railway, take a rope, the rest does not need spelling out!

Only one way seriously, I'd stay around and earn as much money as possible because a long spell of unemployment is looming then I'd move to spain or somewhere a long way from Bolton.

[Ianmooreslovechild]

Me I'm just the pastry chef. Owen asked me to proof read it. Massive piece of work,epic proportions,but then he does insist on using very fat crayons.

I can also reveal that most of our tactical shortcoming s this season are down to Mavis sitting on the etch a sketch at the first preseason meet up.Owen asked Gartside for a rep[lacement but he's refused muttering something about I've already given you money for lots of things and you either break them,lose them or decide you didnt want them in the first place.

OC is considering getting a paper round and saving up for a new one himself.

Oh thank God! Deliverance!
Hell, I've done it now and imagined Owen in the guise of one of those backwoods freaks shouting "squeal piggy, SQUEAL!" whilst attempting to mount Davies.

That is a bit scary.
I felt sorry for Mavis. Coyle did tell him to sit on it. It was his turn to come up with the game plan. He didnt mean to break it and coyle really shouted at him even though he had asked him to sit on it. Went balistic. Poor little Mavis went and hid behind KD,hasnt been seen since

[thebish]

......I'd find a bridge over a disused railway, take a rope, the rest does not need spelling out!

errr... and make a lassoo and hitch yourself to the next passing populist bandwagon??

[Ianmooreslovechild]

......I'd find a bridge over a disused railway, take a rope, the rest does not need spelling out!

errr... and make a lassoo and hitch yourself to the next passing populist bandwagon??

Silly sod,you'll never catch a train like that. especially on a disused line.