Joke thread

[General Mannerheim]

My Mrs went to aerobics the other day - I was amazed at the way she bent, twisted, gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour!.. but by the time the fat c*nt had got into her leotard the class was over!

[Always hopeful]

My Mrs went to aerobics the other day - I was amazed at the way she bent, twisted, gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour!.. but by the time the fat c*nt had got into her leotard the class was over!

[Harry Genshaw]

It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Kokey, but i’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.

[bobo the clown]

My Mrs went to aerobics the other day - I was amazed at the way she bent, twisted, gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour!.. but by the time the fat c*nt had got into her leotard the class was over!

ooooh, I will tell Mrs Hopeful you laughed at that.

[Always hopeful]

My Mrs went to aerobics the other day - I was amazed at the way she bent, twisted, gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour!.. but by the time the fat c*nt had got into her leotard the class was over!

ooooh, I will tell Mrs Hopeful you laughed at that.

How about you don't her tell that I laughed and I won't tell her that you associated her with a fat joke.

[bobo the clown]

My Mrs went to aerobics the other day - I was amazed at the way she bent, twisted, gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour!.. but by the time the fat c*nt had got into her leotard the class was over!

ooooh, I will tell Mrs Hopeful you laughed at that.

How about you don't her tell that I laughed and I won't tell her that you associated her with a fat joke.

My pain would be short compared with yours Grasshopper !


Nonetheless, still scared enough to back off.

[Always hopeful]

My Mrs went to aerobics the other day - I was amazed at the way she bent, twisted, gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour!.. but by the time the fat c*nt had got into her leotard the class was over!

ooooh, I will tell Mrs Hopeful you laughed at that.

How about you don't her tell that I laughed and I won't tell her that you associated her with a fat joke.

My pain would be short compared with yours Grasshopper !


Nonetheless, still scared enough to back off.

You are truly wise Master.

[TANGODANCER]

[thebish]

these are fab! someone has been sticking them up on tube trains!

http://wharferj.wordpress.com/2012/08/2 ... lla-signs/

[Bijou Bob]

I've finally managed to kick my addiction to weird porn. I usd to love sadism, necrophilia and bestiality but I realised I was just flogging a dead horse................

[General Mannerheim]

Elvis, my pet mouse has just died...

He was caught in a trap

[Harry Genshaw]

these are fab! someone has been sticking them up on tube trains!

http://wharferj.wordpress.com/2012/08/2 ... lla-signs/

They are brilliant Wish I'd seen that before my last trip to the smoke

[Prufrock]

My wife told me she wanted a spa day for her birthday.

I'll tell her it's pronounced 'spade' when I give it to her tomorrow.

[Always hopeful]

What do the donkeys on Blackpool beach get for lunch?












About half an hour.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

What do the donkeys on Blackpool beach get for lunch?












About half an hour.

brilliant

[Verbal]

A lady walks into a bar and orders a double entendre.

The bartender gives it to her.

Gives her ONE, Jaffka. Deary me.

[jaffka]

A lady walks into a bar and orders a double entendre.

The bartender gives it to her.

Gives her ONE, Jaffka. Deary me.

I thought people had stopped reading my jokes.

Thanks for being in the fan club though

[ohjimmyjimmy]

A lady walks into a bar and orders a double entendre.

The bartender gives it to her.

Gives her ONE, Jaffka. Deary me.

*shakes head*

Jaffka, i know they say its all about timing...but getting the punchline right is kind of important too !

[jaffka]

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a £20 note falls out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are £20 notes falling out of your bag."

"Oh, really? Damn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? "You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time a guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, '£20 or off it comes'.

"Well, that seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well", not everybody pays..."

[General Mannerheim]

A lady walks into a bar and orders a double entendre.

The bartender gives it to her.

Gives her ONE, Jaffka. Deary me.

*shakes head*

Jaffka, i know they say its all about timing...but getting the punchline right is kind of important too !

Jaffka is @AntiJokeCat !