Joke thread

[jaffka]

A lady walks into a bar and orders a double entendre.

The bartender gives it to her.

Gives her ONE, Jaffka. Deary me.

*shakes head*

Jaffka, i know they say its all about timing...but getting the punchline right is kind of important too !

Jaffka is @AntiJokeCat !

now that is just downright offensive

[Verbal]

I've finally managed to kick my addiction to weird porn. I usd to love sadism, necrophilia and bestiality but I realised I was just flogging a dead horse................

Good on you, mate. I used to be into necrophilia too. That is, until some rotten c*nt split on me.

[Montreal Wanderer]

A lady walks into a bar and orders a double entendre.

The bartender gives it to her.

Gives her ONE, Jaffka. Deary me.

Thanks, Verbal - I was having a whoosh moment.

[Bruce Rioja]

I rang Babestation the other night and the woman said "Hi Sexy, what can I do for you?" I said "fecking hide, my wife's on her way and I've lost the remote"!

[Bijou Bob]

The French are now stating that the Kate Middleton topless photo's were printed in revenge for us sending them Joey Barton. They reckon its a case of tit for nice person.....................

[Verbal]

A thief has been convicted of removing all the full stops from a book.

A very long sentence is expected.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

A thief has been convicted of removing all the full stops from a book.

A very long sentence is expected.

grooooooooooooooan.

[Verbal]

I asked my atheist friend if he could solve an exponential equation for me yesterday. He said he couldn't.

Doesn't believe in higher powers, apparently.

[Verbal]

Proposed to a melon last week.

But she says she's too young and we cantaloupe.

[Wandering Willy]

Lucky escape - she'll be full of seed.

[davroduk]

The BBC news channel just displayed images of the three women who claimed that Jimmy Saville interfered with them s3xually.
They showed a current picture of each of the women and a picture taken of each of them from the 1970s.
The caption read.........








Now,then. Now,then. Now,then.

[Annoyed Grunt]

The BBC news channel just displayed images of the three women who claimed that Jimmy Saville interfered with them s3xually.
They showed a current picture of each of the women and a picture taken of each of them from the 1970s.
The caption read.........








Now,then. Now,then. Now,then.

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=23965" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

About 6 hours too late

[davroduk]

The BBC news channel just displayed images of the three women who claimed that Jimmy Saville interfered with them s3xually.
They showed a current picture of each of the women and a picture taken of each of them from the 1970s.
The caption read.........








Now,then. Now,then. Now,then.

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=23965" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

About 6 hours too late

Ah well..............

Finger on the pulse and all that.

[Harry Genshaw]

I got stuck with an old violin.

I gave Yehudi mi new un

[Little Green Man]

I got stuck with an old violin.

I gave Yehudi mi new un

Crikey, I thought davroduk was slow off the mark.

[bwfcdan94]

Come on someone must be able to think of a Coyle joke

[IggyTheDawgster]

In my spare time I like to fart in crowded lifts, Which is wrong on so many levels.

[thebish]

In my spare time I like to fart in crowded lifts, Which is wrong on so many levels.

[Winter Hill White]

I was talking to a chap from Switzerland the other day. I asked him what the advantages of living there were. He said "Well, there's the flag - that's a big plus."

[Annoyed Grunt]