Today I'm neither Angry nor Happy about....

[Always hopeful]

I've posted on another thread somewhere that my Dad has dementia and that this brings trials and tribulations in various ways. Its not all doom and gloom though, as on occasion his condition results in him saying things that are, well, just funny.

One such case happened recently at bed time.

A heated row ensued between my Mum and Dad, as my Dad was adamant that he was wearing his pyjamas, but he was in fact still wearing the grubby clothes he'd been gardening in all day. Finally my Mum pursuaded him to change into his pyjamas and they went to bed.

About 10 minutes after the light was turned off, my Dad said, "Now what am I supposed to do?"

God, that'd be my worst nightmare, having to cope with somebody with dementia. I fear dementia, as in having it yourself, but I reckon it must be worse living with somebody who has it. I don't think I'd cope very reasonably - and I'd hate to find myself shouting at them.

You're right, my my Mum deserves a medal for looking after him. Having said that she's often threated to hit him over the back of the head with a spade, particularly when his gardening involves him unwittingly pulling up all the new seedlings that Mum's just spent the previous day planting.

Anyway, another incident that brought a smile to our faces was when Mum decided to get Dad a jigsaw puzzle to occupy his time.

She opened the box and spread all the pieces over the table, to which my Dad said, "you'll never mend that".

[Bruce Rioja]

Today I've decided to wear a 'non-iron' shirt (no, nothing to do with Ulster). Anyway, I've got into work, taken my jacket off and have been met with several "Have you slept in that shirt?"s.

[bobo the clown]

Today I've decided to wear a 'non-iron' shirt (no, nothing to do with Ulster). Anyway, I've got into work, taken my jacket off and have been met with several "Have you slept in that shirt?"s.

Nonetheless, it's not ironed.

[Bruce Rioja]

My mate's just rang (well, one of them has). He split up with his bird just before Christmas, and now, the nicest girl you could ever wish to meet has morphed into the bitch from hell. She's even put the dog in the kennels and my mate can't get it out because they'll only release it to her. And a whole list of other things she's up to too, mainly very expensive things.

[BWFC_Insane]

My mate's just rang (well, one of them has). He split up with his bird just before Christmas, and now, the nicest girl you could ever wish to meet has morphed into the bitch from hell. She's even put the dog in the kennels and my mate can't get it out because they'll only release it to her. And a whole list of other things she's up to too, mainly very expensive things.

Do they involve steak?

[Montreal Wanderer]

My mate's just rang (well, one of them has). He split up with his bird just before Christmas, and now, the nicest girl you could ever wish to meet has morphed into the bitch from hell. She's even put the dog in the kennels and my mate can't get it out because they'll only release it to her. And a whole list of other things she's up to too, mainly very expensive things.

Well, hell hath no fury like etc. Hopefully he can hold a civil conversation with her and return things to a rational basis.

[89bwfc89]

My mate's just rang (well, one of them has). He split up with his bird just before Christmas, and now, the nicest girl you could ever wish to meet has morphed into the bitch from hell. She's even put the dog in the kennels and my mate can't get it out because they'll only release it to her. And a whole list of other things she's up to too, mainly very expensive things.

Well, hell hath no fury like etc. Hopefully he can hold a civil conversation with her and return things to a rational basis.

I'm sure you said this to me last week....

Bloody women!

[Worthy4England]

My mate's just rang (well, one of them has). He split up with his bird just before Christmas, and now, the nicest girl you could ever wish to meet has morphed into the bitch from hell. She's even put the dog in the kennels and my mate can't get it out because they'll only release it to her. And a whole list of other things she's up to too, mainly very expensive things.

I'm sure this story has been the case for lots of folks. One that amused be most was a mate of mine put on the "which way's everything going to get split" list. One left breast enlargement - reckoned as he'd paid for it, she could keep the other one.

[Montreal Wanderer]

My mate's just rang (well, one of them has). He split up with his bird just before Christmas, and now, the nicest girl you could ever wish to meet has morphed into the bitch from hell. She's even put the dog in the kennels and my mate can't get it out because they'll only release it to her. And a whole list of other things she's up to too, mainly very expensive things.

Well, hell hath no fury like etc. Hopefully he can hold a civil conversation with her and return things to a rational basis.

I'm sure you said this to me last week....

Bloody women!

Indeed I did - glad you were not my neighbour as I recall.

[Dujon]

I am confused.

Today it was reported in my local newspaper that a con-man was sentenced for embezzling about one-and-a-half million dollars from 'clients'. His term of imprisonment is set at 8-years.

Yesterday it was reported in my local newspaper that a murderer was sentenced for shooting and killing a policeman. His term of imprisonment is set at 7-years.

Certainly I am not privy to all the details of either court case - but something seems to be askew.

[Montreal Wanderer]

I am confused.

Today it was reported in my local newspaper that a con-man was sentenced for embezzling about one-and-a-half million dollars from 'clients'. His term of imprisonment is set at 8-years.

Yesterday it was reported in my local newspaper that a murderer was sentenced for shooting and killing a policeman. His term of imprisonment is set at 7-years.

Certainly I am not privy to all the details of either court case - but something seems to be askew.

The latter case could have been manslaughter in which case the accused was not a murderer.

[Dujon]

Surely, sir, murder can be defined as the killing of a man or woman? It is, as my rather broad minded Macquarie dictionary defines it, "The unlawful killing of a human being with malice aforethought". No, Monty, it doesn't gel. I would suggest that carrying a firearm (which is illegal here without express permission) and taking pot-shots at a police officer indicates 'malice aforethought'.

[seanworth]

Surely, sir, murder can be defined as the killing of a man or woman? It is, as my rather broad minded Macquarie dictionary defines it, "The unlawful killing of a human being with malice aforethought". No, Monty, it doesn't gel. I would suggest that carrying a firearm (which is illegal here without express permission) and taking pot-shots at a police officer indicates 'malice aforethought'.

Did he actually shoot the police officer though? I think you will find that while he fired a shot, the person who fired the fatal shot to the police officer was in fact another police officer. I think we are talking about the same story, but I found it rather confusing to say the least.

[Dujon]

No, sir, we are not. I'll try to find a media report on the incident of which I speak. Maybe I have got the two happenings mixed up. Other things are uppermost in my mind at the moment, so don't wait for a smart reply.

[2399]

He Murdered the Police Officer during a Raid on his House.

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

First trip to the optician for years today. Got told off for not having been in the last 2 years, so decided not to tell her it has been 9! The long and short of it is I have to have bi-focals now. Officially 'getting on a bit' now

To cheer myself up I went for a slap-up lunch at the chinese and then bought the underwater camera I've been after

[bobo the clown]

First trip to the optician for years today. Got told off for not having been in the last 2 years, so decided not to tell her it has been 9! The long and short of it is I have to have bi-focals now. Officially 'getting on a bit' now

To cheer myself up I went for a slap-up lunch at the chinese and then bought the underwater camera I've been after

Which, when you remove the bi-focals, you will realise are actually a pair of binoculars !!

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

First trip to the optician for years today. Got told off for not having been in the last 2 years, so decided not to tell her it has been 9! The long and short of it is I have to have bi-focals now. Officially 'getting on a bit' now

To cheer myself up I went for a slap-up lunch at the chinese and then bought the underwater camera I've been after

Which, when you remove the bi-focals, you will realise are actually a pair of binoculars !!

I'm dreading the next trip to the doctors in case he decides to add insult to injury

[bobo the clown]

Oh yes .... how IS the old prostate, sir ???

[Bruce Rioja]

I can hear the Police helicopter overhead. William - what are you up to?