Joke thread

[Montreal Wanderer]

Knock Knock
Whose their?
The Grammar Police.
Oh feck.

The key question is will Dan get the joke. I'd go with yes on the their btw, but I'm not sure about whose.

[Dujon]

Oh deer.

[mrkint]

Why did Proposition Joe turn down the opportunity to buy a share of some high-quality Chicken Jalfrezi being trafficked from New York?

Because he preferred Balti more.

(This joke works if you've watched the wire)

[Prufrock]

I could hear the wife squealing. "Dave, Dave, come quick! There's this green thing running round the house."

"That'll be the hedge, love," I called back.

[thebish]

[mcflykyle182]

A police officer was sent to talk to a man about his dog.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but we've received a complaint stating that your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle."

"That's ridiculous, officer" the man replied, "My dog doesn't even own a bicycle."

[clapton is god]

Just been for a long walk and I didn't see anybody with a black and white dog.

Then I remembered - its a ban collie day!

[Harry Genshaw]

Just been for a long walk and I didn't see anybody with a black and white dog.

Then I remembered - its a ban collie day!

Genuine lol there CIG

[thebish]

not really a joke - but a local (Newton abbot) view of that there Plymouth over there - especially for a particular Wanderer on the forum!

[plymouth wanderer]

not really a joke - but a local (Newton abbot) view of that there Plymouth over there - especially for a particular Wanderer on the forum!

It is funny listening to what the surrounding towns etc think of us

Some are true though

I once got turned down for a job farming in Tavistock (all of 10 miles outside of Plynouth) I later found out it was because I lived in Plymouth

[Bruce Rioja]

It is funny listening to what the surrounding towns etc think of us

Some are true though

Yeah but what does Dan think of Plymouth? That's the acid test.

[plymouth wanderer]

It is funny listening to what the surrounding towns etc think of us

Some are true though

Yeah but what does Dan think of Plymouth? That's the acid test.

It is indeed mate, it is indeed.

[davroduk]

After my accident, I woke up in hospital with a sexy nurse standing over me.

She said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."

"Fair enough," I replied, groping her breasts.

[Worthy4England]

After my accident, I woke up in hospital with a sexy nurse standing over me.

She said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."

"Fair enough," I replied, groping her breasts.

[Harry Genshaw]

Was looking at the remote for my new surround sound HD telly last night. There was a red button that said 'Cinema Sound' so I clicked it and this voice behind me went, 'Put your head down you fat tw*t!

[LeverEnd]

Jesus is now a prison guard, just like his dad, God.

Who works in Strangeways.

[CrazyHorse]

Telephone rings, woman answers.

Pervert, breathing heavily, says "I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?"

Woman replies, "Yes, I have, he's watching the football ... who shall I say is calling?"

[thebish]

my daughter just sent me this saying "this is you every day"

[Prufrock]

The wife came home and found me flicking through Chat magazine.

"What are you reading that for?" she asked me.

"It's fascinating," I replied, cockily.

"Don't be a c*nt, Dave," she continued. "One - you hate cats, and two - you can't read French."

[bwfcdan94]

It is funny listening to what the surrounding towns etc think of us

Some are true though

Yeah but what does Dan think of Plymouth? That's the acid test.

It is indeed mate, it is indeed.

Its alright......