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[coffeymagic]

I've just taken this and I'm not sure I should be proud of my 100% or not but one thing I'd like to do is claim the invention of the Pie Barm.

I remember requesting that from a Walkden chippy in about 1980 and getting funny looks from the Chip Sales Executive.

I also claim full credit for the Pudding Barm, the pizza butty, the spag boll butty and the full Sunday dinner butty.

All of these need to be made using Warbie's Toastie as no other bread has the strength to hold together under the enormous physical forces excerted during 'the fold'.

I also fume when I see students and expensive restaurants being 'whacky' and 'showing their GSOH' by eating fish finger 'sandwiches'.

I invented that too.

Fish Fingers with salad cream. Delicious.

I am the KING of the Butty Makers and you should all bow down in front of me.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

I've just taken this and I'm not sure I should be proud of my 100% or not but one thing I'd like to do is claim the invention of the Pie Barm.

I remember requesting that from a Walkden chippy in about 1980 and getting funny looks from the Chip Sales Executive.

I also claim full credit for the Pudding Barm, the pizza butty, the spag boll butty and the full Sunday dinner butty.

All of these need to be made using Warbie's Toastie as no other bread has the strength to hold together under the enormous physical forces excerted during 'the fold'.

I also fume when I see students and expensive restaurants being 'whacky' and 'showing their GSOH' by eating fish finger 'sandwiches'.

I invented that too.

Fish Fingers with salad cream. Delicious.

I am the KING of the Butty Makers and you should all bow down in front of me.

Get to feck... I invented Fish Finger butties the day that Clarence Birds-eye thought up the fecking fish finger.

[Bruce Rioja]

Hmmm. A night out in town was never complete until Bolton Supper Bar had been visited and a C&O pie barm consumed. I challenge you to a duel, Coffee Boy!

[coffeymagic]

I've always said there's an art to making a good butty. It's fine making emmenthal and rose foccacias and the such but if you can't make a good bacon butty then we have nothing more to say.

When I first moved up here I went in the local cafe and asked ror a bacon and cheese on toast with brown sauce.

The bacon was fine but the rest? The cheese was just grated and plonked on top, the toast was anaemic but worst of all it was cut into trianges.

Triangles? Do I look like the sort of person who eats things cut into triangles?

Of course if I'd have asked for a 'bacon and cheese melt' I'd have been offered a bewlidering array of breads from around the world and cheeses specially picked by Norwegian virgins on an island in Sumatra and charged an extra £1.50 but who hard can it be to do bacon+toast+cheese+bs.

Don't get me wrong I like a proper Club Sandwich, a smoked salmon and poached egg, a parma ham...all of the good stuff but generally I prefer a butty.

And a sausage butty requires THREE SAUSAGES. Not two sliced up not four farty thin things.

Three proper sausages.

If you're interested the best breakfast I've ever had is from a wee cafe in Newcastle. As you come out of Newcastle train station you cross the main road. You'll see a Greggs infront of you. Keep that on your left and go around the corner towards the Metruuur entrance. It's just there on the left.

You'll see some phone boxes outside, for those of you familiar with the works of Jimmy Nail these phoneboxes were the ones used during the video for 'Ain't no doubt'.

Where was I? Err, yeah. Butties not Sandwiches!

Oh yeah, condiments. There needs to be a government course for school leavers in the deployment of condiments.

A roast beef sandwiches only requires a touch of Horseradish to give it that little kick. Not a massive dollop, what are you trying to do to me?

[LeverEnd]

I'm taking these invention quotes with a pinch of salt. reminds me of Dr Evil's quote in Austin Powers, 'My father would drink, he would womanise, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.'

[Lost Leopard Spot]

A roast beef sandwiches only requires a touch of Horseradish to give it that little kick. Not a massive dollop, what are you trying to do to me?

This is correct. A smattering comprehensively spread over one of the bread lids.

By the way, and I invented* this: have you tried roast beef, cucumber (4 slices), potato salad (a bit lumpy but hey you need to suffer for art), and a smattering of horseradish sandwich - it's to die for!

*take note Lever End.

[TANGODANCER]

If only from the sheer time I've been around, claims as to inventing sandwiches by board members are somewhat dubious. As very young kids we had, sugar, sauce, salad cream, syrup, treacle, Nestles milk and even cornflake sandwiches. Add spam, tongue, brawn, pressed meat, potted meat, spam, boiled ham slightly later, then into the serious stuff when any chip shop or bakery product was supplemented by a slice of the bakers art. Steak pudding sandwiches can be a little messy, as can pea sandwiches but all is possible. Pasties and pies on bread were everyday occurrences. Fish finger butties started happening from the first time we opened a packet of them. In short, sandwiches can, and have been, made of almost anything. Sliced bread was about, but wasn't the real norm in the forties when we were kids. I therefore refute and dismiss your invention claims as pure imagination and wishful thinking.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

^ spoilsport

[Bruce Rioja]

^ No peanut butter with Marmite on there I see?! My invention, innit.

[TANGODANCER]

^ No peanut butter with Marmite on there I see?! My invention, innit.

Touche. But I'll offer crisps and mustard pickle in opposition.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

dripping and banana butties. yum.

[Gary the Enfield]

Porridge butties with a sprinkling of demarara sugar.

pwned

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Porridge butties with a sprinkling of demarara sugar.

pwned

That's just porridge with bread. cheat cheat cheat...

[TANGODANCER]

Geting back to bacon butties (can they be beaten?) I used to get them from greasy spoon cafes on Liverpool's dock road for several years. Have to admit the variety from high street emporiums don't come near the rough shacks for sheer bacon buttiness. Now I've gone and made myself want one.

[Prufrock]

Yep, you can shove your bacon and cranberry baguette up your jacksie. On a barm (or appropriate local variant), preferably with an egg.

[Gary the Enfield]

Porridge butties with a sprinkling of demarara sugar.

pwned

That's just porridge with bread. cheat cheat cheat...

In between two pieces? It's a fecking sandwich!

[bobo the clown]

^ No peanut butter with Marmite on there I see?! My invention, innit.

Peanut butter, banana and honey. Burppp

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Porridge butties with a sprinkling of demarara sugar.

pwned

That's just porridge with bread. cheat cheat cheat...

In between two pieces? It's a fecking sandwich!

If you poured a cup of coffee betwen two pieces of bread you wouldn't end up with a coffee sandwich though, you'd end up with some coffee and bits of soggy bread.

[Gary the Enfield]

Porridge butties with a sprinkling of demarara sugar.

pwned

That's just porridge with bread. cheat cheat cheat...

In between two pieces? It's a fecking sandwich!

If you poured a cup of coffee betwen two pieces of bread you wouldn't end up with a coffee sandwich though, you'd end up with some coffee and bits of soggy bread.

My porridge is more viscous than jam in so far as I can stand a spoon up in it. Perfectly acceptable as a butty filling you argumentative nice person.

[coffeymagic]

Tell you what's often over looked in the quest for more and more gunk on a sandwich. The simple joy of cheese and onion on a crusty barm.

Get in!

I blame that bell end Nigel Kennedy/Gary Rhodes who never seems to be able to say 'when'.

Piling more and more onto his plate until he's left with a moutainous landslide of inedible goo that doesn't even go with each other.

Tosser.