The Christmas thread

[General Mannerheim]

Urgh, Christmas is so mainstream..

[General Mannerheim]

Nah i love Christmas really, mostly for the time off! but i do enjoy the whole palaver tbf, especially with little uns. But what I don’t like is having it rammed down my throat. It’s all the xmas trees posted on facebook that do my head in, and the vulgar ‘all the presents laid out’ shots which are pretty custom now. The john Lewis adverts make me nauseas. Embarrassing town centre light switch on ceremonies. And peoples persistence in buying any old absolute shit for the sake of a gift! Seriously if you can’t be arsed looking for something you think i might like I’d rather you didnt bother. I don’t want homer Simpson boxers, or eau de toilette from Next, or a back scratcher, or some hilarious novelty mug. same goes for cash, im almost insulted by cash as a gift.
I was up Oxford Street last night, that place is so obscene at this time of year it properly pisses on your festive chips.

[89bwfc89]

Haha Christmas tree pic on Facebook, here and anywhere I can is absolutely me this year, only because I'm so proud of the size of it though.

[bobo the clown]

Stockton-On-Tees in the lead in this years "fck me, what do you call that ?" Civic Tree competition ;

[mrkint]

Nah i love Christmas really, mostly for the time off! but i do enjoy the whole palaver tbf, especially with little uns. But what I don’t like is having it rammed down my throat. It’s all the xmas trees posted on facebook that do my head in, and the vulgar ‘all the presents laid out’ shots which are pretty custom now. The john Lewis adverts make me nauseas. Embarrassing town centre light switch on ceremonies. And peoples persistence in buying any old absolute shit for the sake of a gift! Seriously if you can’t be arsed looking for something you think i might like I’d rather you didnt bother. I don’t want homer Simpson boxers, or eau de toilette from Next, or a back scratcher, or some hilarious novelty mug. same goes for cash, im almost insulted by cash as a gift.
I was up Oxford Street last night, that place is so obscene at this time of year it properly pisses on your festive chips.

But apart from that it's not bad eh?

[Little Green Man]

Turns out that our company is not having a Christmas do this year. The management were leaving it a bit late since we're now into December (although that's not stopped them scrabbling to find a venue before now). Doesn't help when you lay off the person who's organised it for the last half dozen or so years.

Then we get an email this afternoon telling use we can choose from a turkey, a ham or a dressed salmon plus we'll be getting a bottle of champagne. Result! I wasn't intending to bother going.

[bobo the clown]

Turns out that our company is not having a Christmas do this year. The management were leaving it a bit late since we're now into December (although that's not stopped them scrabbling to find a venue before now). Doesn't help when you lay off the person who's organised it for the last half dozen or so years.

Then we get an email this afternoon telling use we can choose from a turkey, a ham or a dressed salmon plus we'll be getting a bottle of champagne. Result! I wasn't intending to bother going.

The trick with these things is to vary it. If it's a Christmas Party, every year .... and always some people prefer not to go ... it either becomes same ol', same 'ol or each year a competition to outdo last years which, ultimately, will fail.

That's before the drunks, the fights, the accosted women (& men, but they never raise a complaint), the damage to the venue, the drink driver etc., etc., etc.

Now & again a gift along the lines above, or vouchers (M&S, Sainsbury's, Tesco's) and then in other years maybe the small 'section' party rather than one biggie (which are utterly fraught with opportunities to be abused).

Whoever organises is has a thankless task ... says a man who organised them for 15+ years !

[Little Green Man]

I'd have preferred vouchers. I'm going to be eating ham right through into the New Year...

I'll save the champagne for the League One title-winning knees-up on here next season.

[bobo the clown]

... I do recall one party where the wife of one of our Planners upbraided his boss and myself for the unreasonable way he had been treated that past year. She knew we were very busy but the number of nights he's worked till 10pm, the number of times he'd been sent to our Surrey Head Office at short notice .... yet NO overtime, NO bonus .... was unfair and we needed telling this.

The problem was he'd rarely gone to Surrey that year and never worked till 10pm and he had got little overtime coz he'd really not worked it.

He WAS shagging some young bint from nearby though.

No, we didn't tell the wife ... but we did let him know we didn't appreciate being his cover story.

[Harry Genshaw]

^ Can't believe you passed up the opportunity to at least say "Overtime? We haven't done that here for years!"

A lass at our place never gets a present from her husband at Xmas. He always says he's too busy and usually gives her some cash on Xmas day so she can get herself something. I always thought that was pretty bad until I heard some lass on the radio the other day saying that since her hubby never gets her owt, she buys herself something, wraps it up and then gets him to write a label. She sticks the label on it herself and opens it on Xmas day .

It's no wonder the divorce rates are so high

[bobo the clown]

^ Can't believe you passed up the opportunity to at least say "Overtime? We haven't done that here for years!"

A lass at our place never gets a present from her husband at Xmas. He always says he's too busy and usually gives her some cash on Xmas day so she can get herself something. I always thought that was pretty bad until I heard some lass on the radio the other day saying that since her hubby never gets her owt, she buys herself something, wraps it up and then gets him to write a label. She sticks the label on it herself and opens it on Xmas day .

It's no wonder the divorce rates are so high

My ex GM got so pissed at a Christmas Eve drinks do that he forgot to get his wife's present (a bracelet) and the shops were shut. He walked home, 3 miles but taking him 6 as he took a very winding route in his stupor and called into the only still open shop ... a service station/garage.

He bought her the few remaining flowers, a box of chocolates and an item of inspiration.

He wrapped them and put them under the tree.

This was their first Christmas after marriage &nit was all very twee & exciting as the next morning she opened her presents ... leaving the box so obviously containing the bracelet, long; thin; light; to last.

She came to it and opened the box wondering which of the ones she'd intimated she liked so much he'd chosen.

The pink toothbrush story was raised many, many times in the following years !!

[Prufrock]

Fcuk off ! I got a toothbrush for Xmas once, but that was off my 8 year-old brother.

That tops my uncle buying my auntie house-phones not many years after another when she'd intimated that she like Robson & Jerome, hoping for a CD, and in fact getting a tour t-shirt in the only size left, large.

[Little Green Man]

My father once got my mother a set of castors for the oven. Another Christmas it was a set of sieves.

He's a closet Manure fan so obviously a bit of a tw@t.

[jaffka]

Many years ago when I worked in Manchester, Christmas eve was a half day and a few of us went to the pub, bar the Wigan p*ss pot who went to the market to get his turkey. He returned a short time later along with his turkey which he placed under the seat and insisted he would only have one.

What a load of bollox that was, we got him p*ssed out of his tree and covered his turkey in fag ash and spilt ale before sending him on his wobbly way in the general direction of Victoria station.

[thebish]

i'm not sure this is what the forum ladies had in mind when they set this thread up!!

[LeverEnd]

Not sure either but while we're on the subject My Auntie got my dad (her brother) a Roger Whittaker cassette one year. He opened it and started laughing and bluntly but reasonably pointed out that he'd never liked this whistling weirdo, more amused than offended. She shrieked 'Yes you do! You always have!' then poured herself another drink. End of discussion.

[thebish]

Me and the missus both work on Christmas morning - obviously - and it's kinda quaint tradition that kids (and adults too if they like) will bring summat they have opened to church so we can all have a look and see who's had what as part of the service...

so - we have developed the tradition of opening summat before church (when the kids did their stockings) - and we buy each other mildly amusing to entertain the congregation - or at least make 'em laugh...

a few years ago I was pressed for time and decided to pop into the book shop and simply buy her a cheapish amusing book - maybe a joke book or summat... there wasn't much there - but there was a cheap book called "What the Butler Saw" amongst the sale comedy items - I had a quick look and decided it was a book of amusing saucy postcards - and decided that would do... it'd be cheeky and a bit "oooh - the vicar's got some saucy postcards for christmas - giggle" kind of thing...

christmas morning - she opens it - all the family watching (including grandma and great aunt) - and it turns out it is not saucy postcards at all - but basically, soft porn!! (not the thing she had anticipated showing her congregation on sunday morning!)

she hasn't let me forget it...

[boltonboris]

Next weekend, we're taking the pudding on the East Lancashire Railway: Santa special" 1hr 20m from Bury Station.

Steam train ride with brass band and carol singers, mulled wine, snacks and Santa and his elves come round handing out gifts.

I can't wait!!!

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Next weekend, we're taking the pudding on the East Lancashire Railway: Santa special" 1hr 20m from Bury Station.

Steam train ride with brass band and carol singers, mulled wine, snacks and Santa and his elves come round handing out gifts.

I can't wait!!!

Do you often take yer pud out on day trips, Boris?

[thebish]

it's like the lady with the log in "Twin Peaks"