Today I'm neither Angry nor Happy about....

[jimbo]

Legally, they can't override the wishes of the deceased, however hospital staff for obvious reasons, won't. To put things in perspective, there are over 100,000 people currently waiting for an organ. Only 5000 patients end up as donors every year. That's a shocking stat by anyone's reckoning.

A lot of that is to do with the strict eligibility requirements for donation though. It's not like everyone who has a donor card gets carved up as soon as they die. For what it's worth I've never seen anyone die where donation has been possible.

[Bijou Bob]

Spot on apparently. Less than one per cent of those that die each year are suitable to act as donors.

[William the White]

I'm at a conference in Londinium about death and dying. Cheerful stuff but thought provoking. I have a donor card, but don't think I've ever mentioned it to my family, which is rather stupid of me. They have no idea whether I want to be buried or cremated (cremated please-1 hour at gas mark 30) or what music I'd like at the funeral. Difficult conversations, but ones we should all have.

You are so right. My father, three days before he died, wrote out precisely what he wanted. Not religious, a Sting song, who would officiate, not embalming, cremation etc. We carried it out to the letter. This was so helpful, particularly to defend ourselves (my brothers and I) against the surprise and anger of the religious section of the family.

My wife and subsequently revisited our wills. Everything is in there now.

We both have donor cards. But I'm far from certain there'll be enough of my body working to make it worth anything to anyone. But I know of the death of a friend in a car accident, whose body helped several patients. It's worth doing.

[thebish]

it is indeed helpful - WtW is right... but, technically, what happens at the funeral is entirely (legally) the responsibility/choice of the next of kin - the person dealing with the funeral directors... the nok is the person who decides - usually the one who pays for the funeral...

having directions for the music to be played at your funeral etc. in your will makes no difference (legally) - though, morally (of course) it should make every difference...

when you have died you no longer have a say - what music is played and whether you are cremated or not - you are at the mercy of your NOK - so - don't piss 'em off!

(at least - that is what I am advised by funeral directors that I have known - and I have no reason to doubt them...)

[Bruce Rioja]

Having been asked to pick the music for the funeral of a friend some years ago I've decided, and have let it be known, that when it's my turn to go through the curtain it'll be to 'Celebrate' by An Emotional Fish.

Sorted my will out about six weeks ago to make sure that everything goes where I want it to. I have half brothers and sisters who, despite the fact that I wouldn't know them if they turned up on my drive, it turns out, had I died intestate would have an equal entitlement to both of my brothers.

[thebish]

Having been asked to pick the music for the funeral of a friend some years ago I've decided, and have let it be known, that when it's my turn to go through the curtain it'll be to 'Celebrate' by An Emotional Fish.

Sorted my will out about six weeks ago to make sure that everything goes where I want it to. I have half brothers and sisters who, despite the fact that I wouldn't know them if they turned up on my drive, it turns out, had I died intestate would have an equal entitlement to both of my brothers.

they'd have had to cut that table into several pieces!!

[jaffka]

If my wife goes before me, one of the songs will be 'The First Cut Is the Deepest'

[Dujon]

The deceased's wishes are a problem here as well. If you're a driver with a valid licence then it's optional to have it endorsed to show you are a donor. It's a waste of time and data base space. We do have some sort of donor data base but even that is a problem as it seems the next of kin can still argue the point. My limited understanding of organ transplants is that they are of necessity to be undertaken post-haste. I haven't bothered to put myself on the list of donors as, like others have mentioned, my ageing body will probably be useless-for-purpose when the time comes.

I have discussed my wishes with my wife. I hope that she remembers them. With all due respect to the devout among you I asked her to ignore any religious rites. By the time they get around to that sort of claptrap and assuming there is an after-life I'll be well away on my journey anyway. All I'm trying to do now is to leave enough money to pay for the undertaker and bonfire costs.

[bobo the clown]

I can't imagine how difficult that decision must be in the case of a sudden death of a generally fit & healthy person.

The medical people can have all the rights in the World but the conversation with a mother to say "your child is dead .... now can we use his body parts ?" must be awful.

As I understand it the 'deceased' needs to be still actually kept alive, albeit only on life support, up to the point of "harvesting".

The Welsh Govt. are in the process of passing a law to say there will be a preumption of agreement rather than a presumption of not. in principle I agree with that but there are so many potential issues from it that I get the impression they're wishing they hadn't started the subject. (not least, what if you were simply passing through and aren't a resident ??)

[clapton is god]

Entering my seventh decade (!) and I have just been diagnosed as asthmatic. I always imagined it to be a childhood thing but apparently not. Two inhalers now in my possession.

[Montreal Wanderer]

Entering my seventh decade (!) and I have just been diagnosed as asthmatic. I always imagined it to be a childhood thing but apparently not. Two inhalers now in my possession.

I'll enter my eighth very soon. I did not develop allergies until I was in my fifties. Lots of kleenex now.

[Bijou Bob]

Blimey, so if I collapse on holiday in Betws y Coed, some cottage burning, sheep botherer might get my Lovely English organs??!!

[bobo the clown]

Blimey, so if I collapse on holiday in Betws y Coed, some cottage burning, sheep botherer might get my Lovely English organs??!!

Well ... quite.

[bobo the clown]

Entering my seventh decade (!) and I have just been diagnosed as asthmatic. I always imagined it to be a childhood thing but apparently not. Two inhalers now in my possession.

I'll enter my eighth very soon. I did not develop allergies until I was in my fifties. Lots of kleenex now.

That was in my teens too !!

[clapton is god]

^ I nearly commented on that but managed to restrain myself.

[jimbo]

I can't imagine how difficult that decision must be in the case of a sudden death of a generally fit & healthy person.

The medical people can have all the rights in the World but the conversation with a mother to say "your child is dead .... now can we use his body parts ?" must be awful.

As I understand it the 'deceased' needs to be still actually kept alive, albeit only on life support, up to the point of "harvesting".

The Welsh Govt. are in the process of passing a law to say there will be a preumption of agreement rather than a presumption of not. in principle I agree with that but there are so many potential issues from it that I get the impression they're wishing they hadn't started the subject. (not least, what if you were simply passing through and aren't a resident ??)

Yeah that's pretty much right. Retinas can be taken off pretty much anyone though.

With regards to the conversation you'd have to approach it cautiously at first along the lines of 'are you aware of any wishes expressed by x before they became unwell such as donation' and then take it from there.

[bwfcdan94]

^ I nearly commented on that but managed to restrain myself.

Me and all.

[thebish]

due to some ongoing health problems I am having - have been sent home with a blue pot and a little blue plastic spade - to provide a poo sample... the spade is attached to the inside of the lid... all of a sudden I don't feel like doing a poo... how much do they expect me to put in there?? do they want it crammed full and leveled off at the top with the back of the spade - or just a little skid on the end of the spade... think I'll impress them with the former! but then I'll have to push the spade back in... hmmmm..... also - is there an etiquette for handing such a thing over at reception during the morning rush?

[Harry Genshaw]

due to some ongoing health problems I am having - have been sent home with a blue pot and a little blue plastic spade - to provide a poo sample... the spade is attached to the inside of the lid... all of a sudden I don't feel like doing a poo... how much do they expect me to put in there?? do they want it crammed full and leveled off at the top with the back of the spade - or just a little skid on the end of the spade... think I'll impress them with the former! but then I'll have to push the spade back in... hmmmm..... also - is there an etiquette for handing such a thing over at reception during the morning rush?

That's a dilemma I can relate to. Prior to my snip last year I was advised they may shave some of the area before hand so I decided to give them a head start and did a bit of topiary, in the hope it would impress the nurse and mark me out as a model patient. They never even mentioned it when the time came

I did have a chuckle a few months later when I had to take a sample in. The rather indifferent receptionist at the hospital asked what I wanted and I advised I had brought in a sample. There seemed to be more blood samples there than anything else and I could see her obvious discomfort when I handed her a still warm plastic container of my ahem stuff

[Gooner Girl]

due to some ongoing health problems I am having - have been sent home with a blue pot and a little blue plastic spade - to provide a poo sample... the spade is attached to the inside of the lid... all of a sudden I don't feel like doing a poo... how much do they expect me to put in there?? do they want it crammed full and leveled off at the top with the back of the spade - or just a little skid on the end of the spade... think I'll impress them with the former! but then I'll have to push the spade back in... hmmmm..... also - is there an etiquette for handing such a thing over at reception during the morning rush?

That's a dilemma I can relate to. Prior to my snip last year I was advised they may shave some of the area before hand so I decided to give them a head start and did a bit of topiary, in the hope it would impress the nurse and mark me out as a model patient. They never even mentioned it when the time came

I did have a chuckle a few months later when I had to take a sample in. The rather indifferent receptionist at the hospital asked what I wanted and I advised I had brought in a sample. There seemed to be more blood samples there than anything else and I could see her obvious discomfort when I handed her a still warm plastic container of my ahem stuff

You two are putting me off my late night chocolate nicked from the twins christmas stash...