Quick, someone call Zulu - the elephants are back!

[Bruce Rioja]

Sneak peek bcause we all can't contain ourselves

I think I'll manage

[Lost Leopard Spot]

And... that really is a shit elephant. I mean I know it's an elephant, and I'm happy for it. But it is shit. As far as elephants go.

[ChrisC]

Second part of the vid from a month or so back.

[bwfcdan94]

Sneak peek bcause we all can't contain ourselves

JSL

[Always hopeful]

And... that really is a shit elephant. I mean I know it's an elephant, and I'm happy for it. But it is shit. As far as elephants go.

I think its OK, apart from its ears being the wrong way around.

Maybe its a flying elephant. If so, I can appreciate the benefit of the reverse facing ears, particularly on take-off.

[bobo the clown]

And... that really is a shit elephant. I mean I know it's an elephant, and I'm happy for it. But it is shit. As far as elephants go.

I think its OK, apart from its ears being the wrong way around.

Maybe its a flying elephant. If so, I can appreciate the benefit of the reverse facing ears, particularly on take-off.

Have you ever seen an elephant ply ? I mean, I've seen a HOUSE fly ......

[Always hopeful]

And... that really is a shit elephant. I mean I know it's an elephant, and I'm happy for it. But it is shit. As far as elephants go.

I think its OK, apart from its ears being the wrong way around.

Maybe its a flying elephant. If so, I can appreciate the benefit of the reverse facing ears, particularly on take-off.

Have you ever seen an elephant ply ? I mean, I've seen a HOUSE fly ......

No. But I have seen 3 ply, and 4 ply for that matter. But I can honestly say I've never seen elephant ply. That must be really strong stuff.

[bobo the clown]

tw@t

[LeverEnd]

tw@t

Don't be too hard on yourself Bobo. It's only one letter. Less of the bitter self-loathing.

[Abdoulaye's Twin]

And... that really is a shit elephant. I mean I know it's an elephant, and I'm happy for it. But it is shit. As far as elephants go.

I think its OK, apart from its ears being the wrong way around.

Maybe its a flying elephant. If so, I can appreciate the benefit of the reverse facing ears, particularly on take-off.

Have you ever seen an elephant ply ? I mean, I've seen a HOUSE fly ......

No. But I have seen 3 ply, and 4 ply for that matter. But I can honestly say I've never seen elephant ply. That must be really strong stuff.

You must be a toff. 4 ply?

[thebish]

A stranger to 4ply then Mr Twin? wham, bam, thankyou ma'am?

[malcd1]

Is the elephant on the back between the shoulder blades? Certainly doesn't look like it has replaced the BWFC scarf emblem on the front.

[Bruce Rioja]

Have we ascertained as to whether it's a shit African elephant or a shit Indian elephant yet?

[bobo the clown]

Have we ascertained as to whether it's a shit African elephant or a shit Indian elephant yet?

Shit Italian one, Shirley.

Left over by Hannibal I guess.

[Gary the Enfield]

Have we ascertained as to whether it's a shit African elephant or a shit Indian elephant yet?

Shit Italian one, Shirley.

Left over by Hannibal I guess.

Shitalian

Shindian

Shafrican

Shenglish

[TANGODANCER]

Have we ascertained as to whether it's a shit African elephant or a shit Indian elephant yet?

Shit Italian one, Shirley.

Left over by Hannibal I guess.

More likely left by Chipperfield's Circus, Queens Park 1982.

[Bruce Rioja]

Have we ascertained as to whether it's a shit African elephant or a shit Indian elephant yet?

Shit Italian one, Shirley.

Left over by Hannibal I guess.

More likely left by Chipperfield's Circus, Queens Park 1982.

Hannibal's elephants passed up the coast of Spain and down Italy, thus representing fine wines and magnificent nosebaggery. As such, Gerry Cottle or whoever can feck off.

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Have we ascertained as to whether it's a shit African elephant or a shit Indian elephant yet?

We haven't.

Therefore I will.

An analysis of the Macron Elephant to determine whether it is African (Loxodonta africana) or Indian (Elephas maximus).
Unfortunately the best indicator as to which species an elephant belongs to is its size – the African being about 25% heavier and larger than its Indian cousin – but our Macronelephant (or nelefant as I shall refer to it from here on) has no reliable scale to measure it against. Neither can we tell our nelefant’s inclinations from its teeth (hidden from view), toenails (because its feet have sunk into a lush green carpet) tusks (we’d need to determine the sex of our nelefant first) lower lip shape (because nelefant has its gob closed) or what food it eats (as nelefant has been captured in portrait between meals). Other indicators are available however, and from these a rather confusing picture appears.
Firstly, the ears: although obviously on backwards, these appear to be intermediate between the African and Indian, neither large enough for the African and having too large and drooping a lobe for the Indian.
The body shape, however, points to nelefant being Indian with a straight rather than concave back, and a sagging belly rather than a diagonally backward sloping belly, and having smooth rather than wrinkled skin.
But in the completely opposite manner all the indications of the head shape point to nelefant being of the African variety with two fingers on the end of its trunk rather than the single Indian type, no humped skull on the top of its head, and no dent to its skull at forehead level.
My conclusion is that nelefant is the creation of a notorious scientist called Dr Frankenstein. He has taken the head of an African elephant and attached it to the body of an Indian one, and this possibly explains the curious back to front ears, probably not sewn on like that by accident but deliberately placed to hide the hideous scar that circles around the neckline.

[Bruce Rioja]

Splendid research there, Spotty. All of this has had me thinking, however. Remember that Wellyphant thing that the Water Fairies had as some sort of mascot? Well I hope to feck that we're not now going to have something as embarrassing trotting out alongside the equally embarrassing Lofty and that scruffy article that has jeans on - whatever the feck* feck it's meant to be!?

[Lost Leopard Spot]

Splendid research there, Spotty. All of this has had me thinking, however. Remember that Wellyphant thing that the Water Fairies had as some sort of mascot? Well I hope to feck that we're not now going to have something as embarrassing trotting out alongside the equally embarrassing Lofty and that scruffy article that has jeans on - whatever the feck feck it's meant to be!?

Ah, yeah, hmmmmm.
We say No to mascots!