Joke thread

[Worthy4England]

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.....

[Andy Waller]

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.....

Thank you for a well considered and succinctly conveyed response.

[Worthy4England]

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.....

Thank you for a well considered and succinctly conveyed response.

It's a holding response, whilst I consider the full 150 page report.

[Enoch]

The wife managed to cheer me up for a moment.

She said, 'Of all your friends, you've got the biggest dick.'

[Andy Waller]

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.....

Thank you for a well considered and succinctly conveyed response.

It's a holding response, whilst I consider the full 150 page report.

It's not is it? It's all you could say isn't it?

[Worthy4England]

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.....

Thank you for a well considered and succinctly conveyed response.

It's a holding response, whilst I consider the full 150 page report.

It's not is it? It's all you could say isn't it?

No. See, what you did, whilst shortening the route to the punch line (such that is was) was politicize it, by introducing the concept of it being a Muslim maths teacher, previously it could've been any maths teacher. The Al-Gebra angle works better.

Then, in the recanted version, there were all the mathematical concepts missed out completely - means, tangents, absolute values, X and Y, common denominators etc. etc.

You also missed out that he was carrying a protractor, compasses, etc. which were the weapons of maths instruction.

All in all, a pale imitation of something you described as a bad joke.

[Andy Waller]

I was going to sue Ryan Air for losing my luggage. Sadly, my solicitor thinks I don't have a case

[Gary the Enfield]

I was going to sue Ryan Air for losing my luggage. Sadly, my solicitor thinks I don't have a case

See that would scan better as ''I tried to sue Ryanair for losing my luggage but my Solicitor says I don't have a case''

Similair, but different.

[Worthy4England]

It's a bit short really...no build up of anticipation, to the punchline. I supposed it's what we should expect from today's instant gratification society.

I spent all last night reciting Hoss's joke, to ensure I got all the places in the right order - I did also have to look up Micronesia, so it was a truly wonderful learning experience as well. After practising for about three hours, I finally think I've got it right - it took a while for me to get the Armenian, Aruban and Albanian in the right order, because they all start with "A". I'm ready for the pub on Friday now.

[Andy Waller]

I was going to sue Ryan Air for losing my luggage. Sadly, my solicitor thinks I don't have a case

See that would scan better as ''I tried to sue Ryanair for losing my luggage but my Solicitor says I don't have a case''

Similair, but different.

I try to type them as you'd say them.

Don't you think the pause allows the first line to sink in as the punchline comes fairly quickly?

[General Mannerheim]

how do send a baby astronaut to sleep?

Rock it.

[Worthy4England]

[General Mannerheim]

woman goes the drs

"doc i've been taking these steroids and i seen to have grown a cock"

the doc says "anabolic"

the woman "no just a cock"

[General Mannerheim]

Put a bet on 3 horses today - Sunshine, Moonlight and Good Times. Not one winner.

I blame it on the bookie

[Harry Genshaw]

Put a bet on 3 horses today - Sunshine, Moonlight and Good Times. Not one winner.

I blame it on the bookie

Ha ha! Now that made me lol

[TANGODANCER]

Put a bet on 3 horses today - Sunshine, Moonlight and Good Times. Not one winner.

I blame it on the bookie

Ha ha! Now that made me lol

Yes, got a laugh out of me too. Not happy with the ear worm though.

[Gary the Enfield]

I was going to sue Ryan Air for losing my luggage. Sadly, my solicitor thinks I don't have a case

See that would scan better as ''I tried to sue Ryanair for losing my luggage but my Solicitor says I don't have a case''

Similair, but different.

I try to type them as you'd say them.

Don't you think the pause allows the first line to sink in as the punchline comes fairly quickly?

No. Senses of humour hey? Who would have thought they'd differ?

[Bruce Rioja]

See, if I were to come onto a 'Joke Thread' to bemoan the paucity of its content, then I'd make damn sure that I had some pretty shit-hot material lined up first.

[General Mannerheim]

See, if I were to come onto a 'Joke Thread' to bemoan the paucity of its content, then I'd make damn sure that I had some pretty shit-hot material lined up first.

Aussie helpline:

"G'day mate, Foster's helpline...What's the problem cobber?"

"I'm just in the bush rootin' my sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a spider! now her jinny has swollen and completely closed up."

"Bummer mate!"

"Fair dinkum! I hadn't thought of that, mate - Bye."

[Hoboh]

Sculptor Fabian Brunsing brought a satirical eye to the issue by creating the “pay bench”, an art installation of a park bench that retracts its metal spikes for a limited time when the prospective sitter feeds it a coin. Chinese officials, completely missing the joke, thought that this was a great idea and installed similar benches in Yantai Park of the Shangdong province.